


The Quagmire Sixtuplets AU

by Theweirdslingshot



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Carmgina, Dunklaus, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Quagmire sixtuplets AU, Quiglet, Six Quagmires AU, Sixtuplets, Viodora, and Isadora is trans ofc, chaotic siblings, everyone is LGBTQ+, it's gonna be so fucking chaotic, let's go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 46,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22899286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theweirdslingshot/pseuds/Theweirdslingshot
Summary: It's not often you see an asoue AU in the perspective of the Quagmires story. It's not often either you see the Quagmires as sixtuplets. This, my friends, is going to be very fucking chaotic.
Relationships: Carroll Quagmire & Duncan Quagmire, Carroll Quagmire & Isadora Quagmire, Carroll Quagmire & Lewis Quagmire, Carroll Quagmire & Quigley Quagmire, Duncan Quagmire & Isadora Quagmire, Duncan Quagmire & Isadora Quagmire & Quigley Quagmire, Duncan Quagmire & Quigley Quagmire, Isadora Quagmire & Quigley Quagmire, Klaus Baudelaire/Duncan Quagmire, Lewis Quagmire & Duncan Quagmire, Lewis Quagmire & Isadora Quagmire, Lewis Quagmire & Quigley Quagmire, Regina Quagmire & Carroll Quagmire, Regina Quagmire & Carroll Quagmire & Lewis Quagmire, Regina Quagmire & Duncan Quagmire, Regina Quagmire & Isadora Quagmire, Regina Quagmire & Lewis Quagmire, Regina Quagmire & Quigley Quagmire, Regina Quagmire/Carmelita Spats, Violet Baudelaire/Isadora Quagmire, Violet Baudelaire/Quigley Quagmire
Comments: 67
Kudos: 44





	1. Meet the Quagmires (and lose some of them)

"Quigley... Quigley, wake up."

Quigley groaned, and turned around in his bed.

"Go away, Isadora. I'm having a dream."  
"A dream, huh?" Isadora said dreamingly. "Did you guys hear that?"  
"Oh yeah!" Regina said, coming into the boys room. "A dream is a wish your heart makes."  
"When you're fast asleep." Isadora added, and the two sisters sang together.  
"Who let the girls into our room?" Carroll giggled.  
"Did you fall asleep reading again?" Duncan asked, pointing at the book under Carrolls head.  
"Guys, can we just go up?" Lewis asked, standing up.  
"No, I want to sleep." Quigley pouted.

As he said that, all five of his siblings jumped onto his bed and crawled on him, shouting "Wake up!" time after time again. Quigley sighed, as Isadora and Duncan pulled him down to the floor.  
"Fine." he groaned, "I'm awake."

  
Now, I may need to introduce everyone properly. You can't just see names and immediately know who they are.

This is the Quagmire sixtuplets. Six is a lot of people, but they have managed. I mean, they are still alive. Atleast when this story takes place. The sixtuplets were 13 years old, and right now they were home alone because their parents had a "work trip" to attend. You'd think it would be a dream, like a butler coming in a serving them pancakes every day. But that wasn't quite the case.  
Six children, or young teens, all of them just entering, or soon will be entering puberty, maybe is not the ideal to be left alone. Well, let's introduce them more now. You know their names, but you would probably like to know their deal.

The eldest of the bunch was Quigley Quagmire. He was a walking map, basically. He always studied the maps around town and memorised them, just in case they would ever go there. Since the sixtuplets didn't go out much, he wanted to prepare himself more every time they did. If Dora the explorer was around during the time this story takes place, then you would bet Quigleys siblings would sing the "I'm the map" song every day to him.

After Quigley was Lewis Quagmire. While Quigley was the cartographer, he was the explorer. He barely ever looked at a map. If he was in a place he never been in before, he just went whatever felt right to go. There was a special story of when the sixtuplets were around eight, and got lost in the woods. Lewis had helped them all getting out of it before dark, just by pointing at random directions that he "felt was the right way out of the forest". But even though it went well that time, Lewis very easily got lost, because he didn't follow any maps. But time and time again, he can find his way back before he is lost for too long.

Then, there was Isadora Quagmire. She was a real poet, and often held dramatic reads of the poetry she wrote down in all of her notebooks. Her poetry were often at times of a dark and gloomy style, with the hint of some sapphic elements. She was very sure of her identity. Her confident and sassy personality often made her siblings in a good mood. She was also quite mischevious and dare I say, feral. If something had broken in the house, it was probably Isadora. Though, she was more feral when she was with her sister Regina or with her brother Quigley. Those three in the same room would always end with chaos.

We mentioned Regina, so here she is. Regina Quagmire was the performer and singer of the group. She often collaborated with Isadora when making a song. Isadora wrote the text, Regina wrote the melody. A thing she did often was bursting out into song, even if the song had nothing to do with the context. When she didn't sing and dance, she either got engaged in mischief or walked around in the backyard to get inspiration. Regina was probably the loudest of the bunch, too. She was loud and proud, and that was just how it was. 

Then there was Duncan Quagmire, the journalist of the bunch. He often took notes on various things. Whether it would be about what they ate yesterday and why is wasn't delicious, or the best way to say hello to other children, he wrote it down. The most irrelevant things could be something great in his world. Besides liking journalism, he was a bit fragile, but had a very kind heart. His siblings sometimes called him clueless, because he was oblivious to some things that were very clear to everyone else. Particularly, one thing...

The youngest of the bunch was Carroll Quagmire. He was a writer, and had for years entertained his family members with the most intriguing of stories. He had created atleast six stories for each of his siblings, which was often inspired by other stories he had read, with of course a little touch of his own imagination, too. Just like Isadora could quote poems and Regina could quote songs on regular basis, Carroll liked to quote various books. Because of his young age, he had mostly read childrens books. But sometimes, he could read more adult-related books, even if he skipped some parts of those because he was nervous his parents or his nosy siblings would find out what he read.

  
Right now, the Quagmires had just eaten breakfast and sat in their big library.

"What are you reading?" Lewis asked, looking at Isadora. She seemed to be very interested in the book she read.  
"Oh, it's called 'female finnish poets'." Isadora explained, "Right now i'm reading a section about Tove Jansson."  
"She's not a poet!" Carroll protested, "She's a writer! She wrote the moomins!"  
"And an artist." Duncan added.  
"Well, she did write some poems too!" Isadora said.

Regina, who had been lying upside down in the couch, smirked at Carroll.

"Hey Carroll, you're the author." she said, "If we were characters from the moomins, which ones would we be?"

Carroll bit his lip, which meant he was thinking.

"Well, I do think all of us would either be Snufkin or Little My."  
"Works for me!" Regina said and attacked Duncan who just sat peacefully on the couch.  
"Reggie, stop!" Duncan yelled, "Why are you always on me?"  
"I think something happened in the womb that made Regina get on you like this, brother." Quigley suggested. 

Isadora glanced outside the window. From far, you could see two chimneys sticking up from the trees. It was lucky smells lumbermill.

"You know..." she said, "I can't help to feel like something more is going on at that mill."  
"I wrote a story about it." Carroll said, "It was about three children who end up there and are forced to work, and one of them gets hypnotised and almost murder a guy."  
"For some reason it feels like that has happened." Regina said.  
"You think?" Isadora asked.  
"Yeah! I mean..."

Regina started to hold onto Duncan kind of aggressively and then started to sing.

"Cause I still believe in destiny that you and I are meant to be!"  
"I never know what song you're singing." Lewis admitted.

  
The remaining hour, not much happened. Everyone just stopped talking to look in books or just walk around the house to themselves. That is, until Carroll looked out the window.

"Car coming our direction!" he informed.

Everyone almost jumped and ran towards the window. They didn't recogonize the car. It looked to be a car for someone who repaired fridges.

"Have we locked the door?" Quigley said in a kind of panicked voice.  
"Of course!" Lewis said, "But... for safety reasons, let's hide!"

Everyone giggled, as Lewis and Quigley tried to find good hiding spots. They weren't going to hide because they were scared, but because it was just fun to hide sometimes. Quigley and Lewis always found great hiding spots, too...

"Alright, everyone in here!" Lewis ordered. He had found a space behind a bookshelf where you could squeeze in atleast four or five people.  
"Guys..." Quigley said, "I don't know if this is a hiding spot, but I found something under the rug-"  
"Quigley, we don't have time!" Lewis said. "Ok, we can't fit everyone behind the shelf, so you and me have to hide behind the couch."  
Quigley nodded and zoomed behind the couch. Right as he did, the sound of someone opening the front door in the hallway could be heard.

  
"Who is it?" Duncan whispered. Isadora shushed him.  
"Children?" a familiar voice called.  
"Children?" another familiar voice called.  
"Duncan, Quigley, Isadora?"  
"Carroll, Lewis, Regina?"  
"Fuck, it's our parents." Regina whispered happily.

The children still hid themselves though, because they hoped their parents would go inside the library so they could pop up and suprise them.

"Are they not home?" their mother asked.   
"Well, it's unlikely they have left." their father nodded, "I mean, where would they be?"

Their mother glanced at the rug, who Quigley had rolled up a bit as he thought he found a hiding spot.   
"Oh no..." their mother whispered. "Could they have- they haven't...?"  
"No, they know better than that."  
"Then where are they?"

The sixtuplets decided that they had been hidden long enough, and decided to jump out to greet their parents.

"Suprise!" Quigley and Lewis said as they dashed out of the couch.  
"Hello!" Carroll and Duncan yelled happily.  
"Boo!" Regina and Isadora screamed.

Their parents got suprised alright. Their father even fell backwards because he felt started.

"Are you ok, father?" Lewis asked.   
"No, he broke his leg!" Carroll exclaimed, "He's got a bandage! Sorry we made you broke your leg after scaring you."  
"The bandage was there before we scared him, idiot." Regina said.  
"How did you hurt you leg?" Quigley asked.

Their father just smiled. After all his children had gone quiet, he opened his mouth.

"Breaking out of prison in Peru."

  
That evening, the six Quagmires sat in their pyjamases in the library and read books, while their parents discussed something. Being good children, the Quagmire children eavesdropped on everything.

"Why do they always talk about fires?" Quigley whispered.  
"I know, right?" Duncan replied.  
"We can hear you kids back there." their father informed them. "If you went to my school you would've flunked eavesdropping."

Lewis gave his parents a suspicious look.

"What kind of school teaches eavesdropping?" he asked.  
"No, I think it's time for you to go to bed." their mother hesitantly said. "You got a big day tomorrow."  
"What's tomorrow?" Isadora asked.  
"It's a secret."

Very confused, the sixtuplets stood up and followed their mother to bed. They were never children who would protest when their parents sent them to bed. It was mostly because they found everything to be much more interesting and exciting at night, and that's why most of them snuck some books they didn't want anyone to know they were reading into their rooms. After their parents had closed the door, they brought their flashlights and read the books, or did something else, like eavesdropping on a conversation in another part of the house. The second alternative was the one two of the sixtuplets did on this very night.  
Lewis and Quigley noticed their two brothers had sunk into their books under their blankets, so they took the chance to sneak out. 

"Mother and father have only been home for a couple of hours and they act strange already." Quigley whispered.  
"Yeah, it's like something happened on their work trip." Lewis replied. "I really do wonder what's going to happen tomorrow."  
"Yeah. We gotta find out."

The two boys heard their parents talking in their room, and so they decided to eavesdrop outside.

"I hope they don't do anything innapropriate." Quigley said nervously.  
"In that case we stop eavesdropping and go back to bed." Lewis shrugged, "And get on with our lives."

Quigley frowned, but then proceeded to press his head against the door.  
"You don't think VFD will take them tonight?" they heard their mother say. "You know they are always nearby."  
"Darling, they didn't take them while we were away, so they are most likely safe."

Just as their father had said that, there was a sound coming from downstairs.  
"Lewis..." Quigley said. "Do you smell smoke?"

Before Lewis could answer, their parents opened the door. They found their two sons sitting on the floor, looking suprised.

"Uh..." Lewis said, "We were just-"  
"You said you smelled smoke?" their mother asked.  
"Yeah!" Quigley said. "Downstairs, we..."

Their mother grabbed Quigley's hand and their father grabbed Lewis's. They lead their boys downstairs. Their mother sniffed in the air.

"Smoke... yeah, it smells like smoke, alright."  
She let go of Quigley's hand and walked into the library. Ten seconds later, she returned.  
"Emergency!" she called, "Darling, I saw her!"  
"Who?" their father asked.  
"Her!"

Mr. Quagmire looked very concerned. "Oh no."

Suddenly, their parents exchanged a nod and dragged Quigley and Lewis towards the living room. The boys noticed that the whole family photo at the window had started to burn, which had lead to some books catching fire. Their mother rolled up the rug where Quigley had found something underneath before. He noticed now that it was a trap door, which their mother opened.

"Boys, get down here." she ordered.  
"Why?" Lewis asked.  
"Get down here! Now!"  
Quigley and Lewis felt very nervous, but they did what their mother said.  
"We are going to get your siblings!" their father yelled. "Stay there!"

After he said that, the trap door closed.

  
"Fire! Fire!"

Isadora and Regina, who had huddled together in Isadora's bed to read a book they didn't want anyone to know they were reading, hesitantly threw it under the bed when they heard the voice.

"Do you smell smoke?" Isadora asked.  
"No, but someone did scream fire." Regina shrugged. "I think it was... mom and dad?"

The sisters looked at each other and decided to run out to investigate.

"Fire!" their mother screamed in the hallway. Their father had opened the door to the boys room and dragged out Duncan and Carroll.  
"Where's Quigley and Lewis?" Carroll asked.  
"They're-"

They were interrupted by the sound of fire spreading. Mrs. Quagmire ran down to check.

"It's... it's too late!" she screamed up towards the others. Mr. Quagmire nodded, and quickly opened a window at the end of the hallway.

"Kids." he said, "Jump out."  
"We can't jump out!" Duncan protested, "We'll hurt ourselves!"  
"No, you won't! I chose this window specifically because-"  
"It has soft bushes to land in right outside." Regina said. Everyone looked at her. She just shrugged. "What? I sometimes play on the roof when I want to be alone."  
"That's-" their father said, "We'll discuss that later, young lady! Now, jump out!"  
"With pleasure." Regina said and didn't think twice about jumping out.

After she jumped out, Isadora jumped after, thinking it was safe because her sister did it. However, Duncan and Carroll were a little more concerned.

"Boys, you have to jump!"  
"But what if we miss the soft bushes!" Carroll cried. "What if we-"  
"Hey guys!" Isadora called from the outside, "Are you going to jump out or not?"

Carroll heard his sister's voice, and he took a deep breath. He climbed up the window, and jumped out too.

"Father, I don't know..." Duncan whimpered. His father bent down and looked at him.  
"Duncan, I know it seems scary. But you have to listen to me. You need to do the scary thing first, and get scared afterwards. Okay?"  
"But-"  
"Okay?!"

Duncan formed tears. "Okay..."

His father hugged him. "Jump out now. Me and your mother will be right behind you."

Duncan nodded and stepped up. He didn't see much because of the darkness, but closed his eyes, and jumped. Four seconds later, he felt like he had fallen onto a pillow.

"Very good, Duncan!" Carroll applauded. "It wasn't so scary as we thought, was it?"  
"You're right." Duncan said. "Now, father said he and mother would come after us."

  
But their parents never came after them. The four siblings waited for several minutes, watching the flames spread more and more. That's when the fire department finally came. A bunch of people ran in and out of the house and tried to put out the fire. A man even came up to the four children.

"Is someone still in there?" he asked.  
"Yes." Isadora said, "Our parents."  
"And our brothers." Carroll added.

The man nodded and ran around to inform everyone to look for people inside. As he did, the four sixtuplets watched their house collapse, piece by piece. The saddest thing was probably the library, where they had spent so much time in their lives. It was like their whole childhood got ruined.

Duncan saw one of their couches getting burned to crisp, and remembered when he was just five years old. He and his siblings had jumped on that very couch so much that it broke. Several times. And still, their parents fixed it up, even if they knew their six children would break it again.

Carroll saw their kitchen disappear behind the flames, and remembered when he told such an engaging story that everyone in his family forgot to eat anything because they were so invested. Eventually, the food got cold. Their parents were too lazy to warm it up, so they put it in leftovers and called for pizza.

Isadora saw someones bed almost falling through the burnt floor, and remembered when she accidentally spilled ink all over her sheets and had to explain to everyone why she was writing poetry in the bed in the first place.

Regina saw the roof, which the smoke had now surrounded, and remembered the first time she climbed the roof just because she wanted to. Her parents got so mad at her for it, but already the next day, she was up on the roof again.

The four siblings stood in their pajamases and watched their childhood home get burned to the ground. They wondered where their parents, and their brothers, could be that made it take such a long time. They couldn't be dead...? No, they have to get out!

  
"What do you mean they all died?"

The four Quagmire children had watched their house burn for an hour without moving. Eventually, some random banker they never met before moved them to the side and told them their parents and brothers had perished.

"My name is Mr. Poe." said the banker, "And I help out orphans, just like you."  
"Never call us orphans again." Isadora ordered.  
"But you are orphans. Now, I know this may seem very sad, but you got nothing to worry about! Your parents left behind the Quagmire sapphires, which will be yours when you come of age! Your brothers would've inherited it too, but you know, they are dead now..."  
"You fucking unsensitive bitch." Regina mumbled.

Mr. Poe didn't seem to hear her, because he continued to speak about crap.

"Now, there were three boys and a girl?"  
"Two boys and two girls." Isadora corrected, and bit her lip.  
"You're a girl?" Mr. Poe asked, "Wow, your hair is too short for that!"

Isadora grinded her teeth, because hair lenght should not be associated with gender.

"Now," Poe said, "Get into my car."  
"No." Regina said.  
"Yes." Poe said.  
"What if I don't want to?"  
"You have to! I am an adult and I want everyone of you to get into my car! I am going to drive you to a place where you'll be staying until I have found a guardian for you!"

The Quagmire children did not want to go to another place, nor get a guardian. They did not care about any sapphires they wouldn't get for several years anyway. But, where else could they go?

Unwillingly, the four siblings climbed into Mr. Poes backseat and squeezed themselves together.

"We're leaving our childhood house." Isadora said, "To live a life like a lonely mouse."  
"That was a good poem." Carroll said.  
"No, it wasn't." Isadora muttered. "It sucked."

Carroll just shrugged. He knew his sister was in a bad mood, and he understood why. He didn't feel so well, either.

"Why don't one of you sit beside me?" Poe asked, "So you're not squeezing all four in the backseat."

But the Quagmires shook their heads. Mr. Poe shrugged, and started the car to drive off.

  
A while on the road, Carroll saw a truck labeled "Lucky smells lumbermill" on the side. He could've sworn he saw three people lying in the back of the truck, but he shrugged it off. Meanwhile, Regina started to hum on a familiar tune.

"Oh, are you humming to _'Seven little girls sitting in the backseat'_?" Mr. Poe asked. "I love that song!"  
"Yes..." Regina said slowly, "But I have my own version."

Without someone asking her, Regina started to sing. Not loudly, but still loud enough for her siblings to hear. The melody was the song Mr. Poe mentioned, but she had spontaneously made up her own text.

_"Four sad Quags sitting in Poes backseat_  
_being sad and lonely all day_  
_Poe asked 'Why don't one of you come up and sit beside me?'_  
_And this is what the four Quags said:_  
_All together now, one, two, three_  
_Keep your mind on your driving, keep your hands on the wheel_  
_and keep your snoopy eyes on the road ahead_  
_We're fucking depressed_  
_sitting in the backseat_  
_so just leave us the fuck alone!"_

Her siblings gave her a sad smile and nodded. They liked her version much better.


	2. New school and new discoveries

"Prufrock preporatory school?"  
"Yes!" Mr. Poe said, and coughed at the children. He often coughed. I forgot to mention that.

He had stopped his car outside the most depressing of buildings that the Quagmires ever seen. It was gray and gloomy, and the grass on the ground was almost non-existent.

"I envy you!" Mr. Poe said. "I always wanted to go to a boarding school... i'm sure you fit in great!"  
"We have never been to a boarding school before..." Duncan said.  
"We have never been to a school before." Isadora said. The sixtuplets had been homeschooled all of their lives, and they thought it was because there were so many of them that it would be hard to get everyone to a school. But sometimes they felt like there was another, more dark reason...

Poe coughed at them. "Well, I see you are still in your hideous pajamases. Here, I have your uniforms with me. I advise you to go into that school and get changed before anyone sees you..."

For once, Mr. Poe said something smart. The four siblings really needed to change their outfits. They really could not walk around in a pajamas the first day at school.

"Thank you, mr. Poe." Isadora said.  
"No problem. Also, after you're done, go into the administration building. Vice principal Nero will meet you there. Now, I really have to go. Banking hours. Goodbye."

He waved at the Quagmires and sat in his car to drive off. As soon as he did, Regina started to ridicule him.

"Hi!" she said in a childish voice, "I'm Mr. Poe! I'm leaving four orphans alone in a boarding school after their family just passed away! Cough cough! I care more about my work than the well-being of children!"  
"Let's just go change." Carroll sighed, "Before any of the students wake up."  
"But where will we put our pajamases?" Duncan asked.  
"I guess that vice principal Nero will explain everything to us later." Isadora shrugged. "Now, i'm freezing. Can we go inside?"

The Quagmires walked inside the gloomy building. They very soon found the bathrooms, and split into boys and girls to go change.

"Carroll, can you help me?" Duncan asked. "I can't fix my tie at all."  
"Sure."

Carroll wasn't very good with ties himself, but he was slightly better at it than his brother.

"You will have to live with the fact that it looks a bit like a seven year old tying shoelaces." Carroll said.  
"That's okay." Duncan replied, and tried to imagine how a seven year old tying shoelaces had anything to do with a 13-year old Carroll tying a tie on his brothers school uniform.

The boys looked at themselves in the mirror.

"Of course, if you want someone better at tying your ties," Carroll said, "Then i'm sure there's a very kind and cute fella at this school who would love to-"  
"Carroll, what the heck are you talking about?"  
"Uh... nothing"

There was a thing about Duncan that Carroll had known about for a while. Or, not known about... it was more like he felt like it was like that. He was certain about it. But, this very thing was something that Duncan had to say himself for it to be 100% certain, and since Carroll was atleast 99% certain already, he wanted to say some things that could be a hint if you were analyzing it, and see how Duncan reacted. This time, Duncan interrupted him and looked a bit nervous. Interesting... though, it could also be because their parents just passed away and now they are in a new school where they know zero people.

"I wonder how it goes for the girls." Carroll said, changing the subject.

  
In the girls bathroom, Isadora and Regina just finished putting their uniforms on.

"I hope this school has some cute boys." Regina said. "I want to live a classic schoolgirl life where I gush over a mysterious boy who stands in the corner of every room he enters, and then one night we sneak out to share our first kiss under a full moon."  
"Do I look too ungirly?" Isadora asked. "Because my hair is not that long, and-"  
"What? No, of course not! You're a girl, Isadora. Anyone can see that."  
"You sure?"

Regina wrapped her arms around her sister.  
"Isadora, I promise you that all the boys at this school will look at you. They are going to flirt with you more than they are with me! I'm already jealous!"

Isadora bit her lip. "I don't know if I like that idea as much, but thanks."  
"Aw, come on! Just because you never liked a boy before doesn't mean you can't!"  
"Regina-"  
"Oh my god!" Regina interrupted, "What if you like, get your period in class and it stains all over your uniform! I guess it's easier to not spot because our skirts are black, but still... ugh, you're lucky to not have this problem, Isadora."

Isadora was silent for a while. Regina was a person who just spoke as soon as a thought entered her mind, and whenever someone didn't respond for a while she had the time to process everything she said.

"Oh, I didn't mean- Isadora, I-"

To her suprise, Isadora was smiling.

"You didn't tell me you got your period."

Regina blushed. "Uh... I haven't... gotten it yet. I was just freaking out because, i'm thirteen and that's an age where it usually-"  
"I understand. But tell me when you get it, so we can jump up and down about it."  
"You really want to jump up and down with me because i'm on my way of becoming a woman?"  
"Yeah!" Isadora said, and smiled even more. "Just like you did with me, when we were nine years old and I moved into the girls room with you."

Regina looked a bit moved, and hugged Isadora tightly.  
"You're the best sister in the world. And I will tell you when I get my first period. I will tell you first of all... if you promise to tell me first of all when you get a crush."

Isadora smirked. When she got a crush, her sister was going to be so surprised...

  
"That took a long time!" Duncan exclaimed. "Me and Carroll waited forever!"  
"We actually only waited for like two minutes." Carroll said, "But Duncan is impatient. Now, shall we go to that vice principal?"

As the four siblings walked to the administration building, they felt some kind of anxiety building up. But they were sure it was just anxiety because of their new environment and surely the vice principal would calm them down and help them out.

"Is this his office?" Duncan asked.  
"Well, it says 'Vice principal Nero' on the door." Isadora shrugged. "So, probably."

Carroll awkwardly knocked on the door. Someone in there made a very weird grunt, before opening the door. In front of them stood a very angry man.

"Who dares to interrupt a genius while he's rehearsing?"  
"What did you rehearse?" Isadora asked with a frown.  
"My violin!" the man growled.  
"Okay, because it did not sound like that."

The man sighed. "My name is Vice Principal Nero. Come on in."

Suspicious, the Quagmires walked inside.

As soon as they all had walked into the office, Vice Principal Nero closed the door. Just from his looks, he did not seem very eager to meet them.

"As I said, i'm vice principal Nero and I welcome you to Prufrock Preporatory School, blah blah blah. Any questions?"  
"Uh, yeah." Carroll said, "Where's the head principal?"  
" _Uh, yeah._ " Nero mimicked in a childish tone. " _Where's the head principal?_ Well, I don't know, child! Why do you care? That guy left ages ago, probably before any of you even were born!"  
"I have a question!" Isadora said, "How does this school work, and such? Like, the classrooms, where we sleep-"  
" _Oooh I have a question, how does this school work, la-di-da-di-da!_ " Nero mimicked. "I'm getting to that! Jesus, these children."

The four Quagmires were quiet.

"Our school," Nero said, "Will provide you with a splendid education. You will learn all the subjects with the most proffessional of teachers. Your first classes will actually start in just an hour."

He proceeded to glance down at some paper.

"Carroll and Duncan, you'll be studying with Mr. Remora in classroom 1. Isadora and Regina, you will be studying with Miss Bass in classroom 2."  
"Okay." Duncan said, and nodded.  
" _Okay._ " Nero mimicked. "Now, if you come late to class you will eat the food with your hands tied on your back. Also, don't get into the administration building unless you have an appointment, or you will eat without any silverwear. And, on most evenings, I will have a violin recidal where attendance is mandatory. If you miss it, I'll force you to buy me a lot of candy and watch me eat it!"

Regina started to laugh at him. He couldn't be serious. But then the vice principal started to mimic her laugh.

"Lastly." he said, "I want to inform you about the dorms. They are marvelous. Every student gets their own room, where a bowl of fruits will be left every afternoon! Doesn't that sound nice?"  
"Yes." the Quagmires said.  
"I'm glad you think so! Because you won't see much from it. To live in a dorm you have to have a permission from a parent or a guardian. You four, have neither of that."  
"We have parents." Duncan said.  
"But are they alive, orphan?"

Duncan looked at the ground.

"Didn't think so." Nero said, and smirked. "You will live in an old shack. We call it The Orphan's Shack. It's pretty dismal, but that's where you will live until we get a new set of orphans."  
"Do you have any orphans there now?" Regina asked.  
"Why, of course. But they are not important to you, and those orphans will be a bit more happier now, because we just got two dorm rooms available, so they can move in there."  
"Well." Regina sighed, "Then I hope another set of orphans comes quickly."  
"Yeah, yeah." Nero said, "Go to the shack and drop your stuff, then head to your classes! As I said, they'll start soon!"  
"What will do with the clothes we wore before we put on a uniform?" Duncan asked.  
"Burn them. They look hideous."

* * *

Three hours. They had waited for three hours for someone to open the trap door. No one came.

"Where are they?" Quigley groaned.  
"You don't think-" Lewis said, before he stopped talking. He slowly looked at the door above them. Without thinking twice, he opened it.

Immediately, a pile of ash ran down the entrance.

"Ew, what the fuck dude!" Quigley shouted, "Close it!"  
"I'm just..." Lewis said, grunting as opening it was hard, "...trying to open it."

Something heavy had fallen on the door, and nothing but ashes slowly fell into the small gap he managed to open.

"Just close it!" Quigley shouted.

Lewis, realising he couldn't do much, closed the door again.

"What do we do?" he asked. "I don't... I don't think there's anyone out there."

Quigley looked down on the ground. Then he suddenly realised something.

"Lewis... you know we're in a tunnel?"  
"What?"  
"Yeah, we are in a tunnel."  
"And you didn't tell me until now?"   
"Excuse me, but I was waiting for the rest of our family to join us! Besides, I don't want to go anywhere without a map."

Lewis squinted in front of them. It was very dark. But he did notice a sign close them.

"Quigley, what does that sign say?"  
"Well, I have stared at it for the past three hours, unlike you." Quigley explained, "And even if it's dark as fuck, I think it says "Quagmires".  
"Why would our surname be on a sign?"  
"Because this trap-door lead to our library?" Lewis suggested.

The two brothers then glanced at each other. Now, this was fucking suspicous and creepy.

"Well." Lewis sighed, "We have nowhere else to go, so we might as well explore this tunnel."  
"Lewis!" Quigley pouted, "We have no map! We will get lost immediately."  
"Luckily we have me." Lewis said. "I never use maps at all, and i'm not lost yet!"  
"But-"

Lewis dragged his brother away.

"We literally have nothing to lose."  
"But... our family-"  
"I don't know what happened." Lewis said, and felt kind of sad. "But we can't stay here. If they are out there..." he had a hard time saying 'if', "If they are out there, we will find them easier if we just follow this tunnel."

Quigley sighed. "Alright."


	3. First day of school and more discoveries

Hours upon hours, the two brothers wandered the dark tunnels. Every now and then they heard faint sounds, as if other people were down in the tunnels too. But they were too scared to check. They just held hands to not lose each other in the darkness. The sun had started to go up, because they realised the tunnels were becoming a bit brighter in some areas. That made it easier for them to read the various signs.

"Baudelaire?" Quigley asked. "Hm. Haven't that name popped up in a newspaper?"  
"Perhaps." Lewis shrugged. "Oh look, there's a sign of an arrow pointing left. It says... Montgomery?"  
"The only Montgomery I know of is the one who wrote Anne of Green Gables." Quigley said. "Remember when Carroll read those books?"

Lewis smiled slightly, as he remembered eight year old Carroll reading Anne of Green Gables out loud to himself, and occassionally one of his siblings, when they weren't busy with their own things, would listen to him reading. There was one book where Anne was sailing away in a boat, and Regina got so inspired she wanted to try it too. She and Isadora ran to a pond near their house, only to realise there was no boat there. But to not come home defeated, they decided to jump into the pond and run home completely soaked. Lewis and Quigley really missed their siblings right now.

They didn't know how far they had gone, but they continued to wander the dark and cold tunnels. It was extra cold for the boys, since they only wore their pajamases. To make everything feel easier, they tried to remember their siblings more.

"Remember when Isadora tried to feed us poisonous berries?" Lewis asked, and giggled.  
"Of course." Quigley chuckled, "That was my first memory ever. Oh, but she didn't know any better. She was three. But Lewis? Remember when Regina destroyed that girls teddy bear?"  
"You mean on that playdate when we were five?"  
"Yeah!"  
"The red haired girl in the pink dress. She got so mad! And Regina tried to fix it by singing 'Why can't we be friends?' and dancing. Ah, good times... oh! Remember when Duncan was afraid to get down the slide on that playground, so we all decided to slide down together by holding each other tightly in a long line?"  
"Aww... yeah! And uh... speaking of tunnels, remember that story Carroll wrote about me?"

Lewis stopped for a second. Carroll had made six stories for each sibling, but Lewis only remembered the stories about himself.

"It was story number four about me." Quigley explained, "The story was about a monster hunting me, so I crawled into some secret tunnels to escape. Then the monster found me, so I got super powers and lured him into the centre of the earth."  
"It was realistic until the super powers thing." Lewis said.

Quigley snickered a bit. Then, he suddenly stopped.

"Lewis..."  
"What is it?"

Quigley pointed towards a sign. It was an arrow pointing upwards, and next to it... Montgomery.

"Seems like we reached our destination." Lewis shrugged. "I hope there are some people there who can help us."

Slowly, the brothers opened the door and found themselves in a large room with lots and lots of empty cages.

"What the fuck is this place?" Quigley exclaimed. "It looks like a reptile room."  
"Look over there!" Lewis said.

He walked over to a piece of paper lying on a nearby table.

"It's a newspaper." he said, "The daily punctulio."  
"What does it say?" Quigley asked.  
"Famous herpetologist Doctor Montgomery Montgomery was tragically murdered by his own assistant Stephano, who he had trusted for many years. Stephano has fled and authorities are still looking for him. The three orphans who was in Montgomery's care has now been moved to a new guardian far from the lot. All the reptiles who lived in the large reptile room in Montgomery's house have also been taken away to other places."

"Wow..." Quigley said. "So that means-"  
"We're all alone in this house." Lewis said.   
"Is that good or bad?"  
"It depends how you look at it. I guess no one owns this house right now, and all the furniture is still here, so I guess we could just... stay here."

Quigley looked around. "Well, I want to find the kitchen. I really hope there is some food left."  
"Most houses should have cans of food." Lewis said, "Just in case."

The brothers wandered the house, searching for the kitchen. It was pretty close to the reptile room, so they found it within a minute. Just as Lewis preditcted, there was cans sitting on a shelf.

Quigley grabbed a can of pineapples and Lewis grabbed a can of pickles. They sat themselves down in the reptile room and ate, as they looked around.

"Look." Quigley said. "That book looks interesting."

He pointed at the bookshelf next to them. On it was a large book with the title "The incomplete history of secret organisations".

* * *

"Crabs! Our shack has crabs!"

The four Quagmires had just entered the place where they were supposed to sleep. It was even worse than what Nero had described. Their beds were just bits of hay. From the roof, fungus was dripping down. And worst of all - the ground was full of crabs.

"I don't want to spend another minute in here!" Regina protested. "I'd rather sleep in a brooms closet."  
"We need to complain!" Carroll said.  
"Carroll, if the last set of orphans lived here," Isadora said, "Then i'm sure they have complained already. And the orphans before them."

Carroll sighed. "Well... we just have to deal with this later. I think class is about to start. What was it? Room 1 and 2?"  
"I think so." Duncan said. "Let's go. First day of school."

The four sixtuplets nervously walked into the main school building. On their way, they noticed several children dressed in school uniforms walking in the same direction as them. Some children were rubbing their eyes, since they clearly hadn't slept much the past night. Some children were glancing at the Quagmires, as if to see if they had seem them before. 

"Here it is." Duncan said, "Room 1."  
"Well." Isadora said. "Room 2 is over there. I guess we will see you boys at lunch."  
"Good luck." Carroll said.  
"Good luck to you, too." Regina said.

And so, the four siblings split up to two, and walked into their seperate classrooms.

  
The things the Quagmires learned in both room 1 and 2 were really tedious, a word which here meant very fucking boring and unecessary. Duncan and Carroll had a teacher named Mr. Remora, who talked like he was about to fall asleep any minute. He ate countless of bananas, and apparently what he called learning was for the students to take notes to his life stories. They had to make sure to write down every little detail. Not only was Mr.Remora a very boring teacher, but there was also a rude little girl in that room. She had dark red hair and seemed to have something against them. She poked them with a stick every now and then and snickered, which made them lose focus.

Regina and Isadora didn't have it better. Their teacher was named Miss Bass and only really liked to measure things. Like, really liked to measure things. Especially things related to banks. The sisters joked that she probably was a bank robberer in disguise. Though, atleast there were no red haired girl poking them.

"I never want to measure anything ever again." Isadora groaned.  
"Well, you'll get a bit of a break from it." Carroll shrugged. "Let's hope the lunch is good, because if they don't serve good food the students won't eat, which leads to them not focusing in class."  
"Didn't you write a story about that?" Regina asked.  
"I did!" Carroll said proudly. "The story about the boarding school with terrible food. I made it in protest of fathers homecooked lasagna, which made me feel sick."

The siblings entered the cafeteria and saw just what they were talking about. Lasagna. The biggest lasagna they've seen in their life. Bigger than their fathers yucky homecooked one. Bigger than the one they saw on a fair where Duncan and Isadora bumped into two other children who they grew fond of that afternoon and never saw again after. This lasagna was the size of a couch! Little pieces of it were scooped up by very bored lunchladies to give to students. The Quagmires decided they should grab plates themselves and stand in the line.

"Wow, look at those students with their hands tied back." Duncan commented.   
"They were probably late to class." Regina shrugged.  
"Ugh, what a horrible punishment. I will promise to never be late to class!"

The siblings got one small piece of the lasagna each. They took glasses filled with water and then started to look around for a place to sit. The large cafeteria had a lot of tables, aswell as a lot of students, who sat down with their own sets of friends. The Quagmires didn't have any friends - or, they had some friends they sometimes hung out with at their old home. But those friends were far from here now. Heck, they didn't even know the Quagmires were gone! 

"My dear siblings." Regina said, "It would be fun to get some friends here."  
"Yeah..." Duncan replied, "But... right now I just want somewhere to sit."  
"There's an empty table there!" Carroll said, and pointed at an empty table.

The siblings were about to go there, when Regina bit her lip.

"Guys... you can go. I'll... i'll try to talk to some students."  
"Okay." Isadora shrugged.

As the three Quagmires sat down, they glanced at the fourth one. She was heading towards someone who made her brothers cringe.

"Oh no, she's heading for that red-haired girl!" Duncan said. "She annoyed me and Carroll all lesson!"  
"Well, maybe she just thinks you boys are cute." Isadora replied sarcastically.

Regina was heading for the red-haired girl sitting in the other end of the cafeteria. She didn't know why. That girl just stuck out.

"Excuse me." Regina said, "Is this seat taken?"

The red-haired girl turned around and gave Regina a frown.

"Who are you?" she asked.  
"My name is Regina. Is this seat taken?"  
"Regina, huh? Why haven't I seen you before?"  
"I'm new to this school. I arrived today. Is this seat taken?"

Now, several other children sitting next to the red-haired girl was looking at Regina. Apparently, it was unusual for someone to ask if an empty seat was taken by someone.

"You know." the red-haired girl said, "You look similar to two boys in my class. Are you related?"  
"If you mean the two boys who were new students in room 1, then yes. That's my brothers. Is this seat taken?"

The red-haired girl stood up.

"I heard you were cakesniffing orphans."

Regina was unsure how to respond to that. So she just continued.

"You have pretty freckles. Is this seat taken?"  
"Do you know who I am?" the girl asked.  
"No, because I arrived today and you're in the other class. Is this seat taken?"  
"My name is Carmelita Spats." the girl explained. "Anyone who's not a cakesniffer knows i'm the nicest and prettiest girl in the whole school."  
"Congratulations. If you're so nice, can you answer if this seat is taken?"

Carmelita started to glare annoyingly at Regina. She was quiet for a moment, before she started to smile a bit.

"Tell me" she said, "Where in the dorms do you live?"  
"Oh, we don't live in a dorm." Regina explained. "We have to live in that awful-"  
"Orphan's shack!" Carmelita exclaimed.  
"Yes..."  
"Well, in that case..."

Carmelita proceeded to tip the empty seat over, making it fall to the ground.

"The seat is not taken. Not to anyone who's a cakesniffing orphan in the orphan shack."

Everyone in the cafeteria went quiet. Everyone was waiting for some kind of reaction from the new girl who got into herself to talk to Carmelita Spats. The other Quagmire siblings hid themselves, expecting their sister to go on a full rant. Carmelita expected Regina to react in any way possible. She was prepared for every kind of answer. She had been here for long. She had talked with a lot of students. She had learned how to respond to every reaction she got.

Regina opened her mouth a bit.  
Then, she just shrugged and said "Ok."  
Then she walked away.

That reaction was the only one Carmelita did not know how to respond to. She just stood baffled as Regina walked back to her siblings.

  
Ten minutes later, the Quagmires had eaten their lunch.

"Is she still staring at me?" Regina asked in a kind of excited tone.  
"Yep." Isadora said. "Wow. That Carmelita is someone to not interact with. _I'd rather eat a bowl of vampire bats than spend an hour with Carmelita Spats._ "  
"Then give us the bowl of vampire bats right now." Duncan said. "We have already spent several hours with her. And this is our first day."

Regina stared a bit into space.

"I don't think she's that bad." she said. "She's just... misunderstood."  
"Oh boy." Isadora sighed. "Prufrock Preporatory School will be quite an experience, won't it?"


	4. New friends

The Quagmires were very baffled by the fact that the weekends at Prufrock were just a normal school day. Not even on saturday. No, that was just like any other day.  
After just some days at Prufrock, they were getting into a routine. They woke up by fungus dripping in their faces or crabs grabbing their feet. Then, they went to the cafeteria for some morning toast, before heading to their classrooms to have another day of tedious hours of school. After that, it was lunch, where the siblings ate together and talked about various things. Though, they weren't so enthusiastic about anything as they used to. At night, vice principal Nero had violin recidals which went on for several hours. Regina had started to plan up ways to sneak away when Nero couldn't see them, though she hadn't dared to try yet. But when you're sitting in a chair seeing boring things for so long, you start to find some details around the room that might help you with things like escaping. Anyway, after Nero's long and horrible recidal, it was back to the orphan's shack for the Quagmires.

Life more or less sucked, but there was one thing that made their miserable stay at Prufrock a bit better. You see, after lunch there was no classes for the rest of the day. This was so the students had time to study everything their teachers had told them in class, or perhaps go to student club activities or just hang out with your friends.

The Quagmires had very soon realised that the school had a library. It was not big, but it was still a library. Best of all, it never really closed, because the school didn't exactly have a librarian. So if you wanted to, you could stay there all night. Carroll considered it, but suprisingly no one was on guard with that idea. I don't know how, a library is so much better than a shack!

Anyway, it was one of these afternoons where the Quagmires decided to do something else than go to the library. They had gone there every day and it was time to try to go somewhere else, just to see if the school had anything more to offer.

"Where should we go?" Regina asked.   
"I don't know." Duncan said, and shrugged. "Maybe somewhere we haven't been before."  
"Where haven't we been before, then?" Carroll asked.

Regina seemed to think.

"I have never been in the boys bathroom!"  
"Yeah, we are not going there." Carroll said quickly. "It's the same as the girls anyway."  
"How do you know that, Carroll? Have you been in the girls bathroom?"  
"No, but-"  
"Guys, can't we just go to like, the auditorium?" Duncan asked.

Regina and Carroll stopped their tracks.

"But... we have been at the auditorium." Regina said. "Like, every evening for several hours to listen to vice principal Nero and his shitty violin."  
"But we haven't been there at daytime."   
"That's correct." Carroll said. "I do wonder how it looks like when no one is there."  
"Alright, let's go!" Regina said. "Are you in on that, Issie?"

Isadora silently nodded and gave them a small smile. For every day that passed, she had started to be more and more quiet. She just didn't want to talk. It was very weird, because Isadora used to always so loud and proud. Now she hadn't even written any poems for a week. Her siblings knew this, because Isadora always shared her poetry to them, just like Carroll shared his stories, Duncan shared his journalist notes and Regina shared her song lyrics. Isadora's siblings didn't know what to do to make her happier, so they just tried to make her feel like they saw her, and appreciated her prescense.

  
"Wow, the auditorium feels so much bigger when no one is here!" Regina exclaimed.  
"Yeah, it really does." Carroll admitted.

Regina suddenly ran up to the stage.

"Look at me!" she said, "I'm vice principal Nero and I will play my violin for hours and hours, making all my students so bored!"

Duncan and Carroll smiled slightly at their sister, while Isadora just looked down on the ground.

"I've actually made up a song about Nero." Regina said. "It's not fully done yet, but I have a bit of it."  
"Sing it!" Carroll exclaimed. "Sing it! Sing it!"  
"Sing it!" Duncan said as he started to clap his hands.  
"If you insist." Regina said.

Her brothers applauded as she started to take tone.

_"I have known little civility, sir_   
_Few have been kind, fewer truthful_   
_And though within my ability, sir_   
_I remain dutifully youthful_   
_I go gray, then bald, with chagrin_   
_When you play the violin_   
_How I pray for death to begin_   
_When you play the violin"_

  
"That was great!" Carroll said. "You need to finish that! Like, make it a really long song!"  
"And while you're at it, make a song about Carmelita too." Duncan added.  
"Why would I make a song about her?" Regina asked. "She haven't done much, have she?"

Suddenly, Duncan's smile turned upside down.

"For the past days in class..." he said, "Carmelita... she has been whispering about me."  
"Well, maybe she likes you." Regina suggested.  
"I can promise you she doesn't." Carroll said. "And Duncan definetly doesn't like her either, so don't try."  
"How do you know that, Carroll?"  
"Regina, I observe more than anyone of you think I do. Don't. Try."  
"Okay, okay!" Regina said, admitting defeat. "What did she whisper about you, Duncan?"

Unfortunately, Duncan never could answer, because someone walked into the auditorium. 

"What are you cakesniffers doing in the auditorium?"  
"Carmelita!" Regina said in a cheery voice, "I haven't heard your voice since last saturday when I passed you in the hallway."

Carmelita was quiet for a while. She seemed to blush, but she still had that disgusted glare.

"Vice Principal Nero wants to see you." she said as she for some reason grinded her teeth.  
"How did you know we were here?" Regina asked.  
"I-"

Carmelita stared at Regina. She tried to come up with an answer, but couldn't. 

"I don't have to explain myself to cakesniffers!" she yelled.  
"Alright then." Regina replied. She gave Carmelita a big smirk, as she and her siblings walked towards her. "Let's see what Nero wants!"

All four Quagmires passed Carmelita, and she seemed to have something to say to them all.   
"Cakesniffer." she snickered to Carroll. He ignored her.  
"Nancy boy." she whispered to Duncan. He shivered a bit, and wanted to say something, but he continued to walk.  
"Tomboy." she commented to Isadora. Isadora slowly glared at her and flipped her off.  
Finally, Regina passed her. Carmelita stared at her for a few seconds, to think what she should say to her. Eventually she decided.

"Regina."

Regina turned around confused.

"Carmelita." she replied.  
Carmelita looked down on the floor. Regina smiled teasingly a bit and decided to blow a kiss in her direction. Her siblings frowned, but then they went to their precious vice principal.

"You four are very lucky." Nero said, when the Quagmires had gotten to his office.  
"We are?" Duncan asked.  
" _We are?_ " Nero mimicked. "Well, maybe not. But I am here to inform you that tomorrow, three new orphans will arrive at Prufrock. This means they will be the ones to live in the orphans shack."  
"Oh fuck, are we gonna live in a broom closet?" Regina asked worringly.

Nero was about to mimic her when he realised Regina used a swear word and for some reason he was against swearing. 

"I wish you could live in a broom closet." Nero said, "But it just so happens that the janitor needs those or something, so the school is providing you dorm rooms."  
"Are you serious?" Carroll asked.  
" _Are you serious_? I wish I wasn't! Though, don't celebrate too much. It's only two dorm rooms, which means the four of you will have to share. And you won't get any fruit."

The Quagmires just shrugged. They didn't care. Anything was better than the orphans shack, so this sounded like paradise.

"Now, off you go." Nero said. "I need to practise a new song on my violin!"

The four Quagmires were excited. Finally, they would leave the filthy shack and live in the dorms. The rooms lied next to each other too, which was very convenient.

"I guess we have to share the rooms." Carroll shrugged.  
"Eh, we have shared rooms all of our lives!" Duncan said, "Of course, now in only one bed, but maybe we need comfort anyway."  
"Yeah!" Regina said. "Isadora, aren't you happy? We can cramp up together again and read like we used to..."  
"Yeah..." Isadora said with a silent voice. 

This was the first thing she had said for a long time, and also the first words she said in this chapter. Have you missed her voice? Of course, you can't hear her because this is something you read, but... have you missed imagining her speak how you personally think she sounds like, which is a voice probably much more different than how I or others imagine? Well, she is going to say more in this chapter, I promise!

"Look!" Duncan said, "They have showers!"  
"Showers for everyone?" Carroll asked.  
"Well, it says 'student showers'." Regina shrugged. "We're students."

The Quagmires hadn't have much time showering for the past days. There were some showers in the changing rooms if you had gym class, but the Quagmires didn't have gym class (and they were very grateful for that). They did take very quick showers in the changing rooms when a sports club in the afternoon had training. But now, with this student showers, they could really get themselves clean. They decided to waste no more time.

  
"Wow!" Regina exclaimed. She had just dressed after showering, and was happy as could be. She and Isadora waited for their brothers outside.

"Isadora, that shower really cleaned my soul!"  
"Mm." Isadora replied.  
"I feel like singing!" Regina exclaimed, and started to sing without warning. "Lolipop, lolipop, oh lolly lolly lolly, lolipop!"

Just as she sang, a certain someone passed by.

"Ugh, what are you doing in the dorm rooms?" Carmelita asked.  
"Lolipop, lolipop!" Regina sang loudly while staring at Carmelita. Carmelita frowned.  
"That doesn't answer my-"  
"Oh, lolly lolly lolly, _lolipop!_ "

Isadora realised her sister couldn't reply to Carmelita, as she apparently had started to forget how to people. It meant that Isadora had to do it. Ugh.

"We live here now." Isadora explained. "Vice Principal Nero said so, because tomorrow some new orphans will arrive."  
"Really?" Carmelita said, and glared misheviously at the sisters. "Well, I don't want any cakesniffing orphans in my dorm!"

Isadora rolled her eyes. "Orphans before us live in the dorms now."  
"Those orphans don't concern me."

Isadora walked up to Carmelita and clenched her fists.

"If you even try to get us out of the dorms, you're asking for death. There are four of us and one of you. Don't try."

She dragged Regina away to their new dorm room. Regina seemed to look sadly at Carmelita and mumbled "sorry" very quietly as she passed her.

  
At night, Regina and Isadora cuddled together in one room and Duncan and Carroll in another room. Both pairs tried to talk about things.

Duncan and Carroll stared into the roof while hugging each other.

"Hey." Carroll said, "What excactly did Carmelita whisper about you? It must've been something big, since you seem pretty upset about it."  
"It's nothing." Duncan said. "I don't want to talk about it."   
"You sure?"  
"Yes... let's just get some sleep in our new room."

Regina and Isadora also hugged each other, while staring at the roof in their new room.

"How are you?" Regina asked.  
"I'm fine." Isadora replied.  
"It's just... you've been so quiet lately. I was just wondering if something had happened."  
"No, nothing has happened."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yes."

Regina sighed. "You seemed very mad at Carmelita today. Has she done anything to you?"

Isadora frowned. "What do you mean?"  
"You just seemed so oddly mad at her today outside the showers."  
"Yeah? Because she's a bitch?"  
"She is not a bitch! She is just-"  
"Misunderstood. Yeah, no."

Regina rolled her eyes.

"I don't blame you." she said. "You're most likely grieving, just like everyone else. And everyone copes with grieving in different ways. Maybe that's why you're quiet, because that's how you do it. But then you bottle your feelings up and they go out on misunderstood people who just seem a bit mean on the outside."  
"Maybe you're right." Isadora said. "Just like your way of grieving is believing you're straight. And believing I am straight."  
"Wait, what?"  
"Goodnight." Isadora said, and smirked. "I'm getting tired."

The next day, the four siblings got up as usual and went to class. Suprisingly, Carmelita didn't whisper anything about Duncan today. He was happy about it, but was afraid it would mean she would to something else.

It was time for lunch. The Quagmires sat down at their normal table, and was just about to eat, when suddenly they heard Carmelita's voice.

"Hey, orphans! There's seats at my table! But i'm afraid that it's a cakesniffer free zone!"  
"Is she talking about us?" Carroll whispered, "Because she has her head in another direction from us."

Carmelita was indeed not looking at the Quagmires. She was looking at three students, who looked very, very confused. There was a boy and a girl who the Quagmires had never seen before. And... a baby?

"Cakesniffing orphans in the orphan's shack!" Carmelita yelled, "Cakesniffing orphans in the orphan's shack!"  
Some other students joined in.

Carmelita never did this to the Quagmires, and there are many speculations why. But even if the Quagmires had it better now, because they finally could live in the dorms, even if they had to share a bed, they could not tolerate this bullying. Isadora was the one to say something. She stood up.

"Leave them alone, Carmelita!" she protested. "You're the cakesniffer, and no one in the right mind would want to eat with you anyway!"

She turned her heads to the confused new students.

"Come and sit with us." she said, "There's plenty of seats at our table."

The three children started to slowly walk towards them. Carroll and Regina, who sat on the other side, moved to their siblings side so they could take a look at these three new people.

"Thank you." said the girl.  
"It was nothing." Isadora replied. "Carmelita's just-"

She didn't finish her sentence, because she finally got to look closely at this girl. She had dark hair with a purple bowtie in it. It was very pretty. For the first time for several weeks, Isadora smiled. She had given small smiles during the past days, but this was the first time she genuienly smiled in a long while.

"We are the Quagmires." Carroll said. "My name is Carroll, this is Duncan, Regina and Isadora."  
"It's nice to meet you." the boy said. He smiled directly at Duncan. Duncan smiled back. The boy wore glasses, and Duncan thought in that second that it was the fanciest glasses in the world.  
"I'm Violet Baudelaire." the girl explained. "This is my brother Klaus and my sister Sunny."  
"Goda!" the little baby shrieked, whose name was Sunny.  
"She means 'Nice to meet you'." Klaus explained.

"So how do you like Prufrock so far?" Regina asked.  
"Not very well." Klaus said. "We got here just some hour ago, and already have we been forced to live in an old shack."  
"Oh, it's awful." Isadora said. "We have been here for three semesters and just got out of there yesterday."  
"Three semesters?" Carroll asked. "Isadora, we have been here for three weeks."  
"Oh... I thought school weeks were called semesters."

Isadora sunk her down to the table, feeling embarrased. Especially now, when she had potential new friends and their first impression of her would be that she was stupid.

"Huh." Violet said, "I also thought school weeks were called semesters."

Isadora looked up and smiled hopefully as she said this.

"Fun fact about the word semester." Klaus said, "Semester means 'vacation' in swedish."  
"That is a fun fact!" Duncan exclaimed. "Do you know other kinds of fun facts?"  
"Yeah, i'm a researcher!" Klaus exclaimed. Then he suddenly got sad. "Though... I haven't been able to research for a while. Me and my sisters haven't had a very good time since... our house burned down and we lost our parents."

The Quagmires gasped.

"We lost our parents in a fire too!" Regina exclaimed. She sounded oddly excited, even though it was not a positive thing.  
"And our brothers." Carroll added, with a sadder voice. "Lewis and Quigley."  
"I'm sorry to hear that." Violet said.  
"Twins!" shrieked little Sunny.  
"Sunny says that we seem to have similar experiences." Violet translated.

"We have to apologise for Carmelita Spats." Duncan said after everyone had been quiet for a while. "She's the girl who called you cakesniffing orphans."  
"She is never as mean to us." Regina said. "I wonder why."  
"She is never as mean to _you."_ Carroll corrected. "I do wonder _why._ "

Since Carroll put in extra energy on "why", Regina frowned at him. 

"My sister wrote a poem about her!" Duncan exclaimed. "Show them, Isadora."  
"Oh..." Isadora said. "I don't know-"  
"You write poetry?" Violet asked. "That's cool!"  
"Sappho!" Sunny shrieked.

Everyone was quiet again. Klaus seemed to awkwardly smile.

"Sunny says she would like to hear a poem of yours."  
"And she used Sappho of all poets?" Regina asked. "Wait, what was Sappho known for again? I'm not very good with poets, i'm more interested in music myself."  
"Thank you, Sunny." Isadora said and smiled. "Though, I see myself more of a mixture between Emily Dickinson and Lord Byron."

Carroll smiled knowingly as she said this. Isadora smiled back, but was a little confused to why her brother smiled like this, since she couldn't recall ever telling him anything about which poets she identified with. Sometimes it was like Carroll knew more things about his siblings than they knew that he knew. Anyway, Isadora brought her black notebook and read out loud.

" _I'd rather eat a bowl of vampire bats than spend an hour with Carmelita Spats_."  
"That was brilliant!" Violet applauded.  
"Thank you."

"Do you boys have any special interests?" Klaus asked.  
"I write stories." Carroll said. "I have written a lot of stories for the past years. Duncan over here is a journalist."  
"A journalist?" Klaus asked, and leaned in because he found this interesting.  
"Well..." Duncan said, blushing. "I aspire to be a journalist one day. Right now i'm only taking notes in my notebook."  
"What kind of notes?"  
"Notes on... everything. Where to go in this school to go if you want to encounter the least amount of people, how and when you should take showers... and sometimes how people I see look like. Like, if they have very fancy glasses."

Klaus leaned back and smiled as he looked at another direction. Violet seemed to wiggle her eyebrows at him, as if she knew something. Sunny said something in her baby talk that made Violet giggle and Klaus blush.  
The four Quagmires stared at the three Baudelaires. Even if these siblings seemed to have a terrible day and came to this school because of unfortunate circumstances, they still seemed to have their happy moments. Just like the Quagmires had during the past weeks.

"Hey." Carroll said. "Do you Baudelaires want to follow us to the library?"  
"There's a library?" Klaus asked, obviously looking more hopeful than before.  
"Yes!" Duncan said. "It's not as big, but it has enough books to keep one busy."

The seven people stood up and left the cafeteria to walk to the library (except Sunny, who got carried by her big sister).  
The Quagmires smiled, and the Baudelaires smiled. They smiled because of the same reason.

Finally, they had made some friends.


	5. Confessions and reveals

You probably wonder what Quigley and Lewis were up to during the three weeks before their siblings met the Baudelaires at Prufrock Preporatory school.

Well, they had been caught up with a book about secret organisations, which they focused entirely on for very long. Even after they had finished it, they continued to focus on it, and it took some days.  
Then, after maybe four or five days after arriving to the former house of Montgomery Montgomery, they finally started to focus on something else.

"Look." Quigley said, "Someone left a newspaper article here the other day."  
"Who left it?" Lewis asked. "Was it a volunteer?"  
"No, probably a paperman." Quigley replied and gave his brother a serious look, since both of them had for the past days learned so much that they barely could process all of it. Which is why you, the reader, will get to know what these boys read a little bit at a time. 

"What does the newspaper say?" Lewis asked carefully.  
"It says-"

Quigley went silent.

"Quigley?"  
"Uh... you might want to read it yourself."

He handed the newspaper over to Lewis, who as soon as he saw the front page, his heart was beating faster. There was a picture of their family.

**Quagmire house in ruins!**  
_The night before this night, the house which belonged to the large family Quagmire, burned down. It was a family of eight, but only four survived. The parents, aswell as the two sons Quigglefort and Lucas, perished in the fire. The four other children, three sons named Isaac, Dylan and Charlie and a daughter named Ronya, was sent to Prufrock Preporatory School. The fire department..._

Lewis stopped reading.

"What the fuck is this bullshit?"  
"Are we dead?" Quigley asked. "Is this was the afterlife is?"  
"No, i'm pretty sure we're alive." Lewis said. "And every name is wrong."  
"Yeah!" Quigley exclaimed, "And they claim Isadora is a boy! She is a girl, and before her name was Isadora, it wasn't Isaac! It was L-"  
"Yeah. And, if the names are wrong, then maybe the place they were sent to were wrong... though, maybe they are better on places than peoples names."  
"Where is Prufrock Preporatory school?"

The boys spent several days trying to find where Prufrock Prep was. Yes, several days. There isn't much I can say, because the days are just them eating, sleeping, looking through maps, taking showers in the house which apparently never needed rent pay or anything and being paranoid about secret organisations.

In the end, they found it.

"It's apparently only a few hours from here!" Lewis said.  
"And we can't take the tunnels?" Quigley asked.  
"I don't know if Prufrock is connected to secret organisations."

Quigley sighed. "What if our siblings aren't there?"  
"Quigley, we have searched for this place for several days. We're going."  
"But what if it's a trap?"

Lewis didn't know what to answer to that. He decided to change the subject for a while.

"I think there's only a few cans of food left now."  
"So?"  
"So, like, if there's no food left we should leave. Besides, we have been inside for very long. We need some fresh air."  
"Lewis, I don't know."  
"Quigley, for being the eldest, i'm not feeling a very oldest sibling-vibe from you."

Quigley stood up, as if he was going to say something. Lewis also stood up, liking to tease his brother. Suddenly, Quigley frowned.

"Why are you taller than me?" he asked.  
"I don't know." Lewis shrugged. "Probably hit a growt spurt earlier than you."  
"And your voice... it has become darker."  
"You think?" Lewis asked. "I haven't really thought about it- wow, my voice cracked at 'thought' there, did you hear?"  
"Yes, Lewis. I heard. You don't have to brag about it."

All of a sudden, they heard something being opened. They looked at the rug near them, and saw that the trap door under it was opening. Out came a man with a very fancy moustache.

"Hello, boys." he said.

* * *

The Baudelaires had been at Prufrock for a couple of days now. Something positive with boarding schools was that the friendships you got there got very much stronger, since you spent days and nights with the same people. Having the Baudelaires in their classes made everything better, too. Violet was in classroom 1 with Duncan and Carroll, which made Carmelita not bother them as much, since she found it to be too many orphans to pick on. Klaus was in classroom 2 with Isadora and Regina. While Isadora mostly was quiet, Regina often looked back at Klaus and they shared disgusted faces as Miss Bass explained how to measure things. Sunny wasn't in a classroom, but apparently a secretary to Vice Principal Nero. Which, was just unfair.

Right now, the friends were chilling in the library. Carroll was reading an old Winnie the pooh book to Sunny. Isadora was looking at what Violet read while writing something down in her notebook. Duncan was talking to Klaus, and Regina tried to join their conversation.

"You know." Klaus said, "You and Isadora almost look identical."  
"Yeah." Duncan shrugged. "We're the most identical out of the sixtuplets. Our brother Quigley were pretty identical to us, too. It's fun, because we three were identical and Carroll, Regina and Lewis identical. Well, Lewis and Carroll a bit more, since... you know. We used to call ourselves the black-haired and brown-haired trios."  
"But Isadora is a girl." Klaus said, "Yet, she's more identical to you than Regina is to any of you."

Isadora looked up as he said this, and gave him a tiny smirk. Duncan smirked too.

"Well, that's just how it is." Duncan said.

Suddenly, Regina jumped down from the table she was lying on.

"Isadora, what are you writing?" Regina asked.  
"Nothing."  
"I can see you're looking at Violet reading over there while writing." 

Isadora blushed a bit while her sister said this.

"Are you copying the pages in the book, or what?" Regina asked.  
"I, uhm..." Isadora mumbled.  
"Come on, let me see! You always share everything you write!"  
"No!"

Isadora held her notebook tightly while her sister tried to grab it. She hesitantly stood up and ran across the room to climb onto a table.

"Come on!" Regina giggled.  
"Okay!" Isadora said, holding her notebook up to the ceiling.  
"Yay, come down so I can read it!"

Isadora smirked. "There's only one person who's allowed to read what I wrote in here."  
"Who?" Regina asked.  
"Violet."

Violet looked up from her book, and smiled.  
"I've been chosen to read something from the fantastic Isadora!" she cheered.  
"Violet, can't you read it out loud?" Regina begged.  
"Nope. Keep your own business, Reggie."

Isadora handed the notebook to Violet. Before Regina could run up to peek at it, someone grabbed her leg.

"Oh, hello Sunny." Regina said.  
"Distraction." Sunny said.  
"Distraction? Where?"

Carroll, who had paused reading to Sunny, just stared at his sister with glee.

"Regina, I may not be fluent in baby-talk." he said, "But I think she means that she's distracting you from not peeking at whatever Isadora wrote in her notebook."

Regina looked forward and saw Violet giggling slightly at whatever was written in the notebook and then stroked Isadora's hair. Isadora smiled.

"I think they want some privacy." Carroll said, lifting both his eyebrows a bit.  
"Alright..." Regina replied. She wasn't sure why her sister and her friend suddenly needed privacy, so she turned to Duncan and Klaus.

Duncan and Klaus seemed to have found a book, and now sat down on the floor and read it together. They were snickering.

"What are you two snickering about?" Regina asked.  
"Uh, we just..." Duncan said. "Found something in the book funny."  
"What?"  
"You wouldn't understand the joke-"  
"Can I read it?"  
"No, I don't think-"

Regina suddenly let out a long groan.

"Everyone is reading things they don't want me to see!"  
"Not me." Carroll noted. "You're very welcome to join me and Sunny reading."  
"No, thank you."

Regina went to an empty table and just lied down there and stared at the roof. She didn't notice the elephant in the room, which Carroll and Sunny had noticed very well. Isadora and Violet, Klaus and Duncan. Something was happening. Something was also happening with Regina and another person. Though, she didn't realise it for a very long while.

  
The next morning, just before the Quagmires were heading to their classes, Isadora pulled Duncan aside. Both she and he had felt... different, since yesterday. And now, Isadora had an idea.

"Here's a funny thought." she said, "What if you and I switch."  
"We switch?"  
"Yeah. I mean, we're the most identical looking siblings of the bunch. We almost have the same hair lenght... you know. But it's just a funny thing, we don't have to-"  
"Isadora." Duncan interrupted. "I would very much like to spend time in room 2 for once."  
"Good, because I... I wanna spend some time in room 1 for once."

None of them had to explain their reasons. I wouldn't say it was because they already knew them, because i'm not really sure they did. I think they just didn't explain because they were already starting in a few minutes so they had hurry, and because they just thought it was fun to not know reasons I guess.

Five minutes later, they had switched school uniforms. Their siblings and friends had already gone before them, so they hurried to their seperate classes.

"Mr. Quagmire." Mr. Remora said, "One more minute and you would've been late."  
"Uh, yeah, sorry." Isadora said, in ironically enough a more high pitched voice.  
"Well, I will let it go because you were just in time. Take your seat."'

Carroll and Violet glanced at Isadora, who was pretending to be Duncan. They felt like something was odd, but they couldn't put their finger on it.

"Today I will tell you the story about how I ate macaroni and cheese."

  
"Miss Quagmire." Miss Bass said, "If the minute hand was five centimeters closer to the letter 12, you would've been late."  
"Sorry, Miss Bass." Duncan said, ironically in a more low pitched voice.  
"Very well. Let's measure some objects."

"Isadora?" Regina whispered, and seemed like she was about to giggle. "Where have you been?"  
"At the restroom..." Duncan whispered back.  
"What did you do in the restroom?"

Duncan frowned. Regina should know that there's only four things you could possibly do at the restroom. Two of them was the most normal things, which you don't really express out loud, since people get it anyway. One of them was very inappropriate. And the fourth thing was switching clothes with someone else, which was what Duncan did, but he wouldn't tell. Did Isadora tell Regina everything she did in the restroom?

"The usual?" was the answer Duncan could come up with.

Regina snickered. "You got your period?"  
"Uh, yes...?" Duncan replied, unsure if that was the usual for Isadora.

Suddenly, Regina frowned. "You know I was joking, right? You sound very serious. I thought you couldn't get-"  
"Oh, uh, yeah! I was joking, too!" Duncan said awkwardly.  
"Oh my god!" Regina exclaimed. Some students glanced weirdly at her. "Isadora, you got me! That was a good one!"  
"Miss Quagmire, focus on measuring!" Miss Bass ordered.

Klaus, who sat a bit further away from them, glanced at Duncan, who he thought was Isadora. He felt like something was odd.

  
"Alright, I hope you wrote down everything about my story about the macaroni and cheese." Mr. Remora said. "I will give you a five minute break, because I need to get a banana."

As soon as he got out of the room, Carroll walked up to Violet. Isadora turned around, and saw Violet giggling at something her brother said. She felt a little jealous because of it. Suddenly, both of them looked at her with smug faces.

"Duncan." Carroll said, "Come here."

Isadora stood up and walked over to them. For some reason, her heart was beating as she saw Violet looking back at her.

"Duncan, there's something different about you today." Carroll said.  
"It is?" Isadora asked in her high-pitched voice, trying to sound like her brother.  
"Yeah. I don't know what it is."  
"Anyway." Violet said, "I have a question, boys."

Isadora cringed a bit when she said boys.

"It's about Isadora." Violet said. "Do you know if she..."

Violet was silent for a while. She seemed to find the right words. Isadora felt nervous.

"I gotta have to stop you there." Carroll said. "Whatever you want to ask about Isadora is best if you ask her personally, since I think she would have the best answer."  
"That's fair." Violet admitted.  
"But uh, just asking now." Isadora said, "Does the question have to do anything with Isadora as... a person, or...?"

Violet smirked. "Perhaps. But I will ask that question to her, not anyone else."

Isadora sighed. She felt defeated.

"But what if she is here?" she said in her normal voice.  
"Wow, Duncan, your voice got darker!" Violet pointed out.  
"Yeah. Because i'm Isadora, not Duncan."

Carroll smirked. "Yeah, no shit."

Violet started to laugh. "I had a feeling! I had a- wow Isadora, how ironic is it that your voice is darker than your brother!"

Isadora looked down on the floor. "Yeah..."

Violet noticed that she was not smiling, and stopped laughing. "Sorry if that made you-"  
"It's okay." Isadora said. "I know. I wish my voice was a bit lighter, but... what are you going to do? Besides, I guess I can tease Duncan about it."  
"Teasing brothers are fun." Carroll said.  
"It surely is. Carroll, remember the first story you made about yourself?"  
"Wait, has Carroll made stories about himself?" Violet snorted.  
"He sure has! Six stories about himself, just like he made six stories about all of us siblings! If he ever comes up with a new one for someone, he has to make a new one for everyone else, too!"

Carroll smiled. Though, he knew his sister was about to tease him soon.

"Anyway, Carroll was a bedwetter until he was four." Isadora explained.  
"Ok." Violet replied.  
"Just saying, most four year olds wet the bed sometimes." Carroll said in defense.  
"One time, Carroll woke up with dry sheets." Isadora continued, "And he was so proud, he made a story about it!"  
"Aw, that's cute." Violet said.  
"Shut up." Carroll said, but he smiled too. Then he changed the subject. "Isadora, you may dress in our brothers school uniform, but I can always see that it's you. Even if I hadn't seen you for ten years and you had a big scar on your face. I can tell you two apart."

Isadora smiled.

"Speaking of that." Violet said, "I wonder how it goes for Duncan. Does Regina and Klaus tell you two apart?"

  
"Okay, five minute break." Miss Bass said, "I'm measuring the exact time."

"Isadora." Regina whispered, "Have you found any boys you think you're cute?"  
"Uh..." Duncan said. He did not think Isadora found any boy cute, and he wasn't going to get his sister in some trouble because he made up a name. "No. What about you?"

Regina seemed to look a bit panicked for some reason. Duncan smirked a bit.

"Oh, uh, I like..."  
"Hi guys."

Klaus came up to them. He smiled.

"Guys?" Duncan giggled. "He he! No, we're girls. Two happy girls, yes we are."

Klaus frowned. "Duncan?"

Regina looked shocked, and then turned around to look at Duncan in Isadora's school uniform. She glanced at him for a second, only to burst out laughing.

"Duncan! You're Duncan!"  
"Fuck." Duncan said. "Can we forget what I just said when you came up to us, Klaus? I want to delete it from this world."  
"I'm sorry, but we can't." Klaus giggled.  
"I just panicked when you came up here." Duncan admitted. "You're- you're distracting... not that that's a bad thing, I just-"  
"I understand."  
"Duncan!" Regina shouted happily. "You and Isadora are crazy! I can't believe I fell for it for a while!"

Duncan smiled. "I was trying so hard to not answer any of your questions, Reggie. Do you and Isadora ususally talk about those subjects you asked."

Regina giggled. "Well..."  
"Yes, they do." Klaus said. "Please help me, Duncan."  
"I'm here now, Klaus." Duncan said in a flirty voice.

Regina glanced at Duncan and Klaus, who were making these very special smiles towards each other. They were doing it since they first met, and a normal person (like Carroll) would notice very fast what kind of smiles these were. Regina knew too, deep down, but deep up she just thought they were joking with each other. Just like she used to speak to Carmelita in a flirty voice. It was just for fun. Regina only liked boys. She was sure of it. But then again, Isadora did say that thing when they first moved into the dorms. " _Just like your way of grieving is believing you're straight."_

  
The seven friends met again in the cafeteria. Duncan and Isadora still wore each others uniforms, and so everyone was giggling about it. Sunny found it to be the most hilarious of everyone, but she was also jealous that she had to work as an assistant while her older siblings and friends did fun stuff.

"And then I said that I wanted to ask Isadora something!" Violet said.  
"Yeah, what was your question, Violet?" Isadora asked.  
"I had no question. I just wanted to get you to out yourself."

"Out yourself" could mean a lot of different things, and while Isadora knew how Violet meant in this case, she still felt her heart beating a bit faster as those words was said. She started to think about some things.

In fact, everyone around the table were thinking about some things that they did not share.

Isadora was thinking _"Outing myself... I have already done that before, in another case, but that was long ago. This... this is harder? Why was coming out as a girl very easy and coming out as... this, so much harder? I mean, I have given hints, but only treated them like jokes. Okay, Isadora. If you really want to out yourself, then it has to happen somewhere more private. Who should I tell it to first? Who will be the most suprised?"_

Regina was thinking _"I like boys. I like boys. Only boys. You either like boys or you like girls. You can't like both. Or...? Fuck, this is confusing!"_

Duncan was thinking " _I just want to go to the library so me and Klaus can read some more. In private, this time."_

Carroll was thinking " _For fuck's sake, my siblings are so fucking obvious with their feelings. Do they notice that themselves? I really hope they will just get together with their crushes, because otherwise I have to play matchmaker. Well, I probably already have to, because Regina is not going to realise her feelings for her special one for a while. Ugh, this was fun for a while but i'm starting to want them all to just kiss already!"_

Violet was thinking _"I am an inventor and Isadora is a poet. The inventor and the poet. Carroll should write a story about us with that title."_

Klaus was thinking _"I may be completely wrong, but I think Duncan has taken notes on my appearence for like 8 pages? If that is me and not someone else. Please say it's me. I really hope Duncan likes boys, because I like him. Very much."_

Sunny was thinking _"Should I tell my siblings I need a change or should I wait? I don't want to interrupt them eating, but also i'm starting to feel itchy."_

All of them kept these thoughts to themselves for the rest of the day (except Sunny, who obviously had to tell someone before she got rashes). After suffering to Nero's violin recidal for the night, the friends were about to say goodnight to each other.

"I hope you get enough of sleep." Duncan said. "Sleeping on haystacks is hard."  
"We'll be fine." Violet said.  
"I wish you could sleep in dorm with me, Violet." Isadora said, and then panicked. "Uh- with us. All of you. But since me and Regina have to share one bed and Duncan and Carroll have to share one bed it's not much space."

Violet suddenly tied up her hair.

"You gave me something to think about. But we'll discuss it tomorrow, because it's so late now."  
"Exciting!" Isadora said excitedly.  
"Well, goodnight." Klaus said. "Sleep well."  
"Sleep well!" Duncan said.

The friends wandered off their seperate places to sleep.

Isadora and Regina were lying in bed as usual. Isadora bit her lip. The room was dark, and she wasn't sure Regina was awake.

"Regina, are you awake?"  
"Yes."  
"Good." Isadora said. "Because I need to tell you something."

Her heart was beating fast. She felt Regina turn her head towards her.

"Spill." Regina said.  
"Well, I promised that you would be the first person I would tell when I get a crush."  
"Yes."  
"I will keep that promise." Isadora said. "So... I wanted to tell you that- that I... I go-got a crush..."

Wow, it was so hard for her to say that.

It was dark, but Isadora knew that Regina was smiling.

"Oh my god." Regina said, quietly enough to not wake up any student in other dorms who might be sleeping. "Finally- I mean, this is exciting. Who is it?"

Isadora smirked. "You'll be suprised."  
"Ooh, that's even more exciting!"

Isadora started to describe her crush to her sister.

"So... the person I like has dark hair..."  
"Ooh."  
"...is pretty inventive, and clever..."  
"Okay..."  
"...and... I don't know what else to describe, because everything else make it obvious."  
"Aww, I wanna know!"

Isadora took a deep breath. Her heart was beating fast as heck.

"Do you really want to know?"  
"Yes, yes!"  
"You'll be very suprised."  
"Yes, cool!"  
"I hope you will be suprised atleast-"  
"Isadora, tell me!"

Isadora giggled. "Alright."

She sat up, and looked directly at her sister.

"My crush is..."  
"Yes?"  
"...is..."  
"...yes?"

Isadora leaned in, her heart on the edge of exploding of excitement and nervousness at the same time. Slowly, she revealed who it was.

"I have a crush on Violet."

  
It was the longest silence Isadora had heard.

"Regina, are you okay?"  
"Yeah..." Regina squeaked.   
"So, are you suprised?"  
"Yeah..."  
"Any questions?"  
"Many..."

Isadora grinned. Her sister soon grinned too, and even if they couldn't see in the dark room, they were certainly sure that they both were grinning.

"Violet." Regina said, still in shock. "Wow. I mean... now when I think about it- but i'm still- I just wasn't prepared that you..."  
"Liked girls? Oh Reggie, that's why I told you first."  
"You told me first?"  
"Yeah, because you're the most oblivious when it comes to that."  
"What do you mean?"

Isadora snorted. "You'll understand what I mean sooner or later. And, before we have any confusions, I will say that I only like girls. I have never liked boys, ever."  
"Of course." Regina replied, "You either like boys or girls."  
"Or both. I think most people like both."  
"Wait, what?"

Isadora sighed. "Yeah, like, Quigley."  
"Quigley liked both? He never told me that!"  
"He didn't tell anyone. I don't think he really reflected on it. I just remember one time, he and I were in the library and our mother came in. She had a kind of serious face, and suddenly she pointed at him and said ' _Quigley, you're bisexual. That means you like both women and men. I know this, because you have that aura about you'_."

Regina chuckled slightly, but was very confused.

"That doesn't sound like something mother would say."  
"Well, that's exactly what mother said."  
"What did Quigley say?"  
"He just shrugged and said 'Ok, I guess' and went on with his reading."

Regina frowned. "Did mother say something to you, too?"  
"No." Isadora said. "But, I think she knew."  
"Then why didn't she tell you?"  
"I don't know. Maybe because it was different with Quigley. I think he kinda knew he liked boys and girls, but he didn't really know the word, so mother decided to explain it to him. When he knew that, he went on with it. But with me... I think she realised that I would prefer to say it myself."

Regina took a deep breath. "Wow, our family is fucking chaotic."  
"It sure is."

The girls lied down in the bed and looked at the ceiling.

"Isadora?"  
"Mm?"  
"I also have a crush."  
"Really? Who?"  
"It's Klaus."

Isadora smirked at her sister.

"No, Regina. It's not."  
"Yes."  
"Nuh-uh. You're not in love with Klaus."  
"Excuse me, how do you know?"  
"That part you have to figure out yourself. Now, can you sing something?"

Regina sighed. "Sure. I think I have a fitting song."

She was pretty tired, so she only sang the last chorus.

_"I like a girl in uniform, school uniform_  
_I like a boy in uniform, school uniform_  
_'cuz not everything is uniform, school uniform_  
_I wanna kiss everyone in uniform!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mrs. Quagmire pointing at Quigley and saying "You're a bisexual!" actually is inspired on something my friend said. She didn't know she was gay until her mother bursted into her room one day, pointed at her and said "You're homosexual!"
> 
> I found it so funny that I had to include it in my fic, though change it a bit.


	6. One down, two to go

Quigley and Lewis felt a bit frightened by the man.

"My name is Jacques Snicket." the man said, "And you are the Quagmire boys."  
"We sure are." Quigley said. "Who are you?"  
"Idiot." Lewis said, "He literally just said his name was Jacques Snicket."

Jacques Snicket laughed. "I knew you two survived the fire. Me and my volunteers were looking for you."  
"So you could take us to Prufrock Preporatory school?" Lewis asked, "We heard our siblings are there."  
"No, that's not safe." Jacques explained.

Lewis frowned. "If it's not safe... why are our siblings there?"  
"There were complications with a certain banker who believes leaving children at that school is the best option, but the truth is that Prufrock Preporatory school is quite dangerous."  
"Then... why isn't our siblings taken from there?"  
"Excellent question, Lewis!"

The brothers stared at Jacques confused.

"How do you know our names?" Quigley asked.

"Another excellent question, Quigley. You see, I have known your parents before, because we were all part of the same organisation. I know who you are because, well, this organisation keeps track of children of volunteers, and children of interest. Look."

He handed over a notebook to them.

"This has been written in by several volunteers who has watched you."

They slowly opened the notebook and noticed how different handwritings had taken notes on not only them, but all of their siblings.

 _Quigley - excellent at the game of hide and seek. Often studies maps. Has potential for high grade eavesdropping._  
 _Lewis - very unpredictable. Could be confused for Carroll if you're not looking closely._  
The first name under was smudged over, and replaced with _Isadora - unknowingly recites VFD poems. Has potential to write codes in her self-made poems._  
 _Regina - chaotic. Sings loudly. Has a lot of similarities with VFD child C.S, though Regina is not as spoiled._  
 _Duncan - potential future journalist. Is a bit fragile, which can help as a distraction in some cases. Homosexual tendencies? Perhaps so._  
 _Carroll - storyteller. Useful to tell young volunteers codes hidden in stories. Seems to know more than he tells._

"So, people has been spying on us all this time?" Lewis asked.  
"Well, you read it yourself in the incomplete history of secret organisations." Jacques shrugged.  
"So that book was about your organisation?" Quigley asked in an amazed tone.  
"Yes. VFD."  
"Wow..."

Lewis frowned at his brother.

"Jacques." he said, "Why did you and your volunteers spy on us?"  
"Because you are children of interest!"  
"Ok, because our parents never told us about VFD."  
"They did talk about it, though." Quigley said. "Remember? When we eavesdropped-"  
"Eavesdropping is a very qualifying thing in this organisation!" Jacques exclaimed.

Lewis dragged Quigley a little bit further away from Jacques.

"Why are you telling us this?"  
"My dear Lewis... I know this may seem very weird."  
"It is, _Jacques_. It is."  
"Excuse my brother." Quigley said, "We have been inside this house for very long."

Jacques just smiled. "You should continue to be inside this house for longer and not go anywhere. It's dangerous out there."  
"But I want to find my siblings!" Lewis protested.  
"You will be reunited sooner or later."  
"You promise?"  
"No one can promise anything in these times."

Quigley and Lewis were both quiet.

"I brought some food." Jacques said. "I figured the stash was starting to become empty."  
"I don't completely trust you." Lewis said, "But I know you just mean well. Though, I don't want to be brainwashed by your cult, so... keep it easy."  
"Don't worry, dear Lewis. I suck at grabbing peoples ankles anyway."

* * *

It was lunch time, the day after Isadora and Duncan had switched clothes. The whole lesson, Regina stared at Klaus and wondered if she felt anything special. Her sister told her she didn't. How do she now?  
Violet had mentioned they had gotten her to think about something the other day. They finally was hearing what that was.

"The dorms usually have spare mattresses in every room." Violet explained.  
"What?" Regina exclaimed.  
"Yeah, in case one mattress gets ruined."  
"So you mean that we should drag out the mattress and then you guys can sleep on that next to us in our dorm rooms?" Isadora asked. "Because, yes! I'd love to share a room!"

Violet smirked. "I was gonna suggest getting the mattresses into the orphans shack, but your suggestion is better."  
"I think that's a great idea." Carroll said. "Don't you think, Duncan? Imagine Klaus sharing a room with us."

Duncan smiled. Very wide. Then he caught himself.

"Yeah, I mean, cool."  
"Very cool." Klaus said with a smug face.

Carroll smirked. He felt like this was going smoothly. Hopefully it's as smooth for the girls.

"Roomies!" Sunny cheered.  
"Yeah, roomies!" Violet agreed. "Shall we go and look at it?"

Everyone nodded.

  
They walked to the dorms. Some students were glancing at the Baudelaires, but didn't say anything.

"Alright." Violet said, "Let's begin." 

She opened the closet in Regina and Isadora's room. Just as she said, there was a matress in there, on a shelf on the top. There was also spare sheets.

Violet pulled them out without hesitation, which made Isadora squeak inside. She didn't know Violet was so _strong..._

Violet walked into Carroll and Duncan's room and did the same thing.

"So, now we have mattresses on the floor in both rooms. That was easy."  
"Yeah, we can just move in." Klaus noted.  
"I hope there's not any student who will snitch." Duncan said.  
"I'll beat up Carmelita if she tries." Isadora said.  
"What do you have against Carmelita?" Regina asked.

No one said anything.

"Hey!" Regina exclaimed. "What has she done, really?"  
"Wow." Carroll said, shaking his head. "Just... wow."  
"What?"

"Shall we go to the library?" Isadora asked, changing the subject.  
"Yeah, I just need to use the bathroom." Duncan said.  
"Me too." Klaus said.

The boys walked away. Klaus was done first, and waited by the sinks for Duncan. As Duncan came out and washed his hands, Klaus took a deep breath.

"Duncan?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Are you excited to have me as a roomate?"  
"Yes. Very."

Klaus smiled. "I hoped so."  
"You did?"  
"Uh-huh."

Duncan felt his heart beating a bit faster. He was confused, but happy. He felt like Klaus was going to say something important.

"I wish you and I could be alone more." Klaus said. "Because... well, it's fun hanging out with all of you, but I... I really feel like I just want to me alone. With you."  
"I feel the same..."  
"You do?"

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door.

"Hey!" Regina shouted. "Why are you taking so long?"

Duncan sighed. "Just a second."

He walked out, and met his sister.

"Regina, there's just one thing I... you guys can go to the library without us, because I... there's something I need to do first."  
"What?"  
"Well, I... it's private. Only Klaus can hear."  
"You can tell me-"  
"No! No... only Klaus can hear, we need to- we need to, uh..."

Regina smirked. "Do you have a...?"

Duncan frowned. "What?"  
"You know... a...?"  
"What are you reffering to-"

Duncan suddenly went quiet. He stared at his sister with disgust.

"What the fuck." he said. "No! Just- just go without us, we'll catch up!"

Then, he slammed the door.

"What did Regina say?" Klaus asked. "You seem mad."  
"Forget it." Duncan muttered, "She just likes to shock people. Anyway, where were we?"

Klaus smiled. "You wanted to be alone with me, just like I wanted the same."  
"Yeah, i'm tired of always being around my siblings." Duncan admitted. "And... your siblings, even if they are nice. I just want to be with you, in private."  
"Well, this restroom is public for any student who lives here." Klaus shrugged. "But I think we're safe here for now."

The two boys went silent. They smiled wider and wider. Klaus grabbed Duncan's hand.

"Do you know why I want to be alone with you?" he asked.  
"Do you know why _I_ want to be alone with _you_?" Duncan replied.

Klaus glanced at Duncan. "I sure hope I do... otherwise it might be very awkward to share a room later."

Duncan laughed at this. His heart was beating super-fast. He was sure he knew what Klaus meant by this. 

"I like you so much, Duncan Quagmire."  
"I like you more than so much, Klaus Baudelaire. Dare I even say..."  
"Say what?"  
"...I love you."

Of course, even if it's cliché as fuck, the two boys exchanged a kiss.

"Yep." Duncan said, as he finished kissing Klaus. "I'm even more sure I love you now."

  
The two boys walked hand in hand to the library, where their siblings and friends awaited them. None of them mentioned anything about it, but atleast some friend or sibling could notice that something had happened between the two boys.

And, then at night, the Baudelaires moved into the dorm rooms. Duncan happily helped Klaus fix the sheet on the mattress, aswell as blankets and pillows. 

"You're lucky." Duncan said, "Your sisters have to share a mattress."  
"Yeah, and you have no idea how much Violet can kick in her sleep." Klaus admitted. "Not even Sunny moves as much in her sleep as Violet does!"

"I can hear you!" a voice yelled through the thin walls.

Carroll giggled. He was sitting on the bed, watching the other two boys in the room fix the mattress. As they were done, and Klaus huddled himself in the blanket, Duncan lied next to his brother in the bed.

"Well, then." Duncan said, "Goodnight."  
"Night." Klaus replied.

Two minutes passed by, and Carroll noticed how Duncan seemed to not be as comfortable in the bed as the night before. It was dark, but he noticed Duncan turning his head towards Klaus. Carroll sighed and shook his head.

"Duncan." he whispered.  
"Yeah?"  
"Go."

Duncan frowned. "What?"

Carroll smiled. "I know. Just _go_."

He almost pushed his brother out of the bed. Duncan stood awkwardly on the floor, not knowing what to do. Klaus leaned up from his mattress. He opened the blanket, gesturing for Duncan to lie next to him. Duncan did.

Carroll smiled. _One down, two to go._

  
For the girls, it was also quite interesting. Violet had to share her mattress with Sunny. It was pretty easy, since Sunny wasn't very big.

They had just turned the lights off and said goodnight. But Regina couldn't sleep. She was too excited, oddly more excited than Isadora.

"Isadora." she whispered low, "Aren't you freaking out? She's lying right there."  
"Nope." Isadora replied, whispering as quietly as possible. "It's exciting, yeah, but I can handle it."  
"You know, ever since they came to Prufrock, you've been much happier, and more talkative."

Isadora smiled. "Yeah."  
"I finally know the reason." Regina said in a teasing voice.  
"Quiet, Regina!" Isadora giggled. Then she sat up in shock.

Because, just as she had said it, someone else in the room had said a similar thing, in unison with her.

Just as Isadora had said "Quiet, Regina", Violet had said "Quiet, Sunny!"

Isadora and Violet stared at each other.

"Smooth." Sunny said. 

Regina started to burst out laughing. Isadora and Violet too, though much more awkwardly. Regina knew Isadora liked Violet. Though, none of them knew if Violet liked Isadora back. But, considering that Violet had said "Quiet, Sunny!", then perhaps Sunny knew something about Violet which none of the Baudelaire sisters knew about the Quagmire sisters.

Maybe. Hopefully.

Right now, all four girls decided to go to sleep. Isadora looked up at the ceiling, and smiled. Perhaps, she should take a chance.

Tomorrow was a new day, and hopefully, that day was going to be as happy as this. If so, then Isadora decided she would do it.

Tomorrow, she was going to confess to Violet how she felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last fluff chapter for a while.  
> Next chapter will be angstier.


	7. Sibling fights

The Quagmires and Baudelaires were happily having a good time in the library. Sometimes they forgot that they were in pretty unfortunate circumstances. It was much easier to be happy when you had people around you who cared and liked to be with you.

Isadora looked to be very focused on something. She seemed to whisper something under her breath, as if she was rehearsing to say something. She had been like this ever since lunch, but no one questioned it. They assumed she was just having a day where she didn't want to speak much. 

Sunny was sitting next to Isadora. She put her hand on her leg.

"Wannatalk?" she asked.  
"Talk about what, Sunny?" Isadora asked.  
"Girl stuff?"

Isadora smiled while looking down at the little toddler. 

"Girl stuff, huh? What kind of girl stuff?"  
"Crushes."

Isadora started to snort a bit. "Ooh, you got a crush, little one?"

Sunny smirked. "No, you."  
"Me?"

Sunny nodded. "Dickinson."  
"Yeah, it's true, I associated myself with the poet Emily Dickinson, but what has that gotten to do with-."  
"Dickinson." Sunny repeated, this time a bit harsher.

Isadora frowned. "I'm sorry, does that have another meaning?"  
"Yeah." Sunny said, "Crushes."  
"Right, we were talking about crushes."

It was hard for Isadora to follow, since she wasn't fluent in baby-talk. Suddenly, Sunny pointed at Violet.

"Edison." she said.  
"Edison? Like the inventor Thomas Edison? Yeah, I guess Violet is like him in a way."

Sunny smiled. She pointed at both Isadora and Violet now.  
"Edison. Dickinson."  
"Ok."

Sunny suddenly crawled away to her sister. Isadora could hear Violet whisper something. She wasn't sure what she said, but it sounded something like:

_"Thanks Sunny. I think I need to speak with her myself later. You know, when no ones around."_

Suddenly, someone who usually never is in the library got into the library.

"Hello, cakesniffers." Carmelita said.  
"Hell yeah, i'm a proud cakesniffer!" Regina said. "I sniffed a cake in the kitchen the other day. It was better than eating it!"

Everyone stared at her. 

"So it was your nose-mark on it that I saw?" Carmelita asked.  
"No, I was joking. How did you know there was a mark from a nose? How did you even know there was a cake?"

Carmelita went silent. Then she coughed and shook her head.

"I'm here to deliver a special message." she said. "Vice Principal has sent me to tell the Baudelaires that he wants to see them right away."  
"Well, thank you." Klaus replied. "I guess."

The Baudelaires started to get up to go and see Vice Principal Nero.

"Uh-uh!" Carmelita hissed, "Where's my tip?"  
"Your tip?" Violet asked, confused.  
"It is tradition to give the messanger a tip."

The Baudelaires just stared at her.

"No." Klaus said, and he and his sisters walked off.

"I'll give you a tip." Regina said, and wiggled her eyebrows.

Carmelita just rolled her eyes and dashed off. Carroll sighed, and patted Regina on her shoulder.

"Why are you patting my shoulder?"  
"To make you feel better."

Carroll sighed. His sister was trying, even if maybe didn't realise it. Maybe he needed to work on both people if he wanted this to work. Even if one of them was a bitch.

The Baudelaires ran out of the administration building. They looked like they were about to die. Before the Quagmires could say anything, their friends dragged them to the dorm rooms.

Inside the girls room, they told them everything.

"Holy shit." Isadora said.  
"So, let's see if I got this." Carroll said. "There's a new gym teacher named Coach Genghis, but that's actually not his name?"  
"Yes." Klaus said. "It's Count Olaf, the man who's been following us."

Duncan frowned. "But... why would he dress up as a gym coach? And why does he want to talk to you? You don't have gym class!"  
"Yeah, she should speak to the students who actually have gym class." Regina said. "Speaking of which, I pity those who have to take that class. It makes me feel better to have math classes, even if I hate it."

Violet took a deep breath. "Coach Genghis wanted us... because we need to run laps at night."  
"Run laps?" Isadora asked.  
"Yes. It's called S.O.R.E: _Special Orphan Running Exercises_ "  
"But we're orphans too." Duncan noted.  
"Yeah." Klaus said. "Count Olaf only wants us."

Regina stood up.

"I can kick his ass."  
"You three can kick his ass!" Isadora exclaimed, pointing at the Baudelaires.  
"We've tried." Violet said. "We have tried to bite him, kick him... and he..."

She shook her head, and Klaus and Sunny hugged her. 

"We're fucked, aren't we?" Carroll said.  
"Not if I kick his ass!" Regina protested.  
"Do not kick his ass." Violet said. "Please. He's gonna kill you. He is capable of killing."

Regina took a deep breath. Then she started to sing.

" _There's a moment you know... you're fucked."_  
"Yep." Isadora said. 

Everyone was quiet for a while. Isadora bit her lip. She had planned confess everything to Violet today, but now it seemed like this should be handled first. 

"We need to meet him at night, while Nero has his violin recidal." Klaus sighed.  
"Well, atleast you don't have to suffer through it." Carroll said.  
"We still need to buy Nero candy for missing the performance."  
"Now, that's some bullshit!" Isadora exclaimed.

Everyone agreed. The Quagmires had heard the Baudelaires had trouble with this Count Olaf before, but they never knew it was this bad. This man should be behind bars! No, better! He should be pushed off a cliff and get eaten by a man-eating beast while choking on a spyglass!

  
The night came, and the Quagmires had to suffer alone through their Vice Principals violin recidal. They had done it before, but it was harder now.   
Duncan had no one he preffered to secretly look at rather than look on Nero.  
Isadora had no one she could casually sit next to and every now and again "accidentally" touch.  
Carroll had no people to smirk at because they were so obvious with their feelings.  
Regina found herself to be much more distracted by someone who sat in front of her now when the Baudelaires weren't there to make her company.

They hoped their friends were okay, and that nothing bad would happen to them.

  
The Baudelaires weren't in the dorms when the Quagmires had finished the recidal. They were going to stay up to wait for them, but were so tired that they fell asleep.

When Regina and Isadora woke up, they noticed Violet and Sunny sleeping beside them. They looked to be in a very deep sleep, as if they had been up until very late at night and just fell asleep.

"Hey." Regina said, "Should we wake them up?"  
"I think we should let them sleep..."  
"But if they skip class they'll give them punishments!"

Isadora gasped. "Since when is Regina Quagmire a follower of the rules?"  
"I just want to... think about their future. School is important."  
"You're sounding like Klaus." Isadora frowned. "No, you're sounding like someone who wants to imitate Klaus."

Regina took a deep breath. "That's just a coincidence."  
"Don't try to impress him." Isadora said. "You're not in love with him. And I can guarantee that he-"  
"Is Violet and Sunny also asleep?" Duncan asked, walking up to them.

The sisters got a bit startled by their suddenly appearing, but they nodded slowly.

"I think we should let them sleep." Carroll said. "They worked hard last night. We'll tell the teachers that they are sick."

Both Mr. Remora and Miss Bass let it go that the Baudelaires were sick, as long as they came back the next day. But what the Quagmires forgot was that Vice Principal Nero had Sunny as his administrative assistant. Hopefully he didn't notice.

The Baudelaires came around at lunch, looking very stressed.

"I have never skipped class before!" Klaus exclaimed.  
"Don't worry, we talked to the teachers." Isadora calmed them.  
"Olaf must've been keeping you up for long." Carroll noted.

Violet looked like she was about to cry.

"Yes! He kept us going all night! We ran lap, after lap..."

"Oh, fuck him." Regina commented. "I hope you only had to run laps once."

Just as she said that, her body melted as she heard a voice behind her.

"Hello, cakesniffers."   
"Hello, Carmelita." everyone replied except Regina who looked like she had been drugged.  
"I'm here to deliver a special message to the Baudelaires." Carmelita said. "You three will arrive at dawn to run laps with Coach Genghis."  
"Again?" Klaus asked.  
"Yes, again! Are you deaf, cakesniffer?"

  
This went on for days. The Baudelaires woke up tired as heck, and either skipped class to sleep or went to class or in Sunny's case, work as Neros assistant, but couldn't focus because they were too tired. And then, around lunch, Carmelita would come once again to deliver a special message to the Baudelaires. The Quagmires didn't know what to do. 

Duncan, who just had gotten together with Klaus, wanted to show affection to him more, but Klaus was so tired that he barely could look at him.  
Isadora wanted to confess her love for Violet, but wanted to wait until the right time. When Violet was tired and grumpy because an evil man forced her to run laps, it was not the right time.  
Carroll was a bit nervous about this whole situation, because he once wrote a story where kids get kidnapped by an evil man, and it seemed like Count Olaf could kidnap children if he wanted to.  
Regina secretly hoped that when Carmelita was going to deliver a special message next time, it was for anyone else and not the Baudelaires.

It was another day, and Carmelita once again tap-danced up to their table. Violet, Klaus and Sunny sighed before she even reached them.

"Let me guess." Klaus said. "Coach Genghis wants us to run laps again."  
"Not only that." Carmelita explained, "But Vice Principal wants to see you three in his office right away!"  
"Wait, why?" Violet asked.

Carmelita smirked. "Perhaps he wants to talk about how you're failing your classes."

The Baudelaires sunk onto the table. 

"Now, you three owe me a lot of tips!" Carmelita said. "If you don't give me tips-"  
"Can you shut up about your tips!" Isadora yelled.

Everyone around the table went quiet.

"I've been putting up with your bullshit for long enough." Isadora said. "Shut up."  
"Isadora, calm down." Regina said.

Isadora didn't even look at her sister.

"You don't have to yell." Carmelita said. "Cakesniffing orphan."  
"Wow, is that all you got?" Isadora asked.

Carmelita frowned. "Tomboy."  
"Now, that's offensive, but I can handle it."

Carmelita was quiet for a while, as if she was thinking. Then, she smirked.

"You're always so mad, cakesniffer." she said. "I guess that makes sense for people like you."  
"People like me?" Isadora asked.  
"Yeah... lesbians tend to be more aggressive."

Isadora flew up from her seat. She was breathing heavily.

"You are a lesbian, aren't you?" Carmelita asked, and then looked at Regina. "Isn't she?"

Regina looked panicked. Isadora had told her that she was, but Regina knew that telling someone's sexuality without that person's approval is not nice. So, Regina didn't know what to reply. She just looked down on the floor.

"Your sister can't answer." Carmelita said. "That means it's true."  
"Oh, that's it!" Isadora screamed.

She tackled Carmelita onto the ground. She started to punch her as much as she could. Her siblings and friends looked shocked. Some students turned around to see what was happening. Some people screamed "Fight! Fight!"

"Isadora!" Regina screamed. "Stop it."  
"She deserves this!" Isadora cried.  
"No, stop!" 

Regina pushed her sister off Carmelita. She then held Carmelita's head closely. Isadora had really punched her hard, because she had a nosebleed and several brushes around the entire face.

"Are you okay?" Regina asked.  
"Get away from me, cakesniffer!" Carmelita screamed and pushed Regina away. She then ran out of the cafeteria.

"Isadora, why did you hit her?" Regina yelled.  
"Why are you taking her side?" Isadora yelled back.   
"You shouldn't hit people!"  
"Says the most feral of the bunch! What has happened to you, Reggie?"  
"What has happened to you?"  
"Are you trying to be less chaotic just because you're convincing yourself that you're in love with Klaus?"

Klaus jumped as Isadora said that. Duncan felt a jealousy streaming through him.

"What if I am in love with him?" Regina growled, "Why are you saying that I don't?"  
"Haven't you noticed? You took Carmelita's side immediately! Didn't you hear what she said to me?"  
"Yes, but that's not an excuse to beat her up!"  
"Are you even listening to yourself?"

The two girls turned to the tables, where now only Duncan and Carroll sat.

"Where's the Baudelaires?" Isadora asked.  
"They had to see Vice Principal Nero right away, remember?" Carroll said.

Duncan stood up. He walked to Isadora.

"I'm sorry, Regina." he said, "But i'm with Isadora. You shouldn't take Carmelita's side, and you're not in love with Klaus!"

Carroll nodded at his. "Yes, Isadora hurt her physically. That's not good. But Carmelita hurt Isadora mentally. That's going to leave a scar longer than some bruises."

He walked up to Regina.

"And, just so you know... I observe everything. I know more than you think I do. Don't hide from your feelings."

And so, the three Quagmires walked away with the fourth one still standing.

Everything was going to be much, much worse...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this hurted very much to write?


	8. Oh noooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I use centimeters because I am not american.

Isadora, Duncan and Carroll sat on a bench outside the administrative building. Isadora was mad, for obvious reasons. They didn't know where Regina were.

Suddenly, the Baudelaires came out of the building. They looked like they were about to be executed.

"You look like you're about to be executed." Carroll said.  
"Yeah, because we are." Violet said. "Where's Regina?"  
"Didn't you hear us fighting in the cafeteria?" Isadora asked.

Klaus sighed. "Yeah, but we sneaked out in the middle of it... we won't comment on it. It doesn't concern us."  
"Well..." Violet said. "Anyway, we have bigger things to worry about. Come on."

The Quagmires followed the Baudelaires into the library. 

"Wait, a test tomorrow?" Carroll asked.  
"Yeah, because we're failing our classes." Violet said. "So tomorrow we have to take a test. If we don't make it, we will be expelled."  
"And." Klaus said, "We still have to run laps tonight. Even though Olaf was the one who got us too tired to fail our classes in the first place."  
"Unfair!" Sunny shrieked.  
"Yes, I agree completely!" Isadora yelled. "What is this bullshit? How can you have time to study all night if you have to run laps?"  
"Yeah, in that case it has to be another three of you." Duncan added.

Violet suddenly tied her hair up.

"You have an idea?" Isadora asked.  
"Yes." Violet said, "Another three of us is impossible. But someone who disguises themselves as us could work..."  
"But who can dress like us?" Klaus asked, "Anyone could see through their disguises."  
"Olaf." Sunny noted.  
"That's right." Violet said, "If Olaf can fool people with disguises, why can't we?"

Isadora frowned. "Then... who would disguise themselves as you?"

She knew the answer of this, but she still wanted to be sure. Violet smiled at her.

"Well, disguising yourself as someone else can be a dangerous task. Maybe it's best not to do it... we can find another solution to this problem."  
"Violet." Isadora said. "I would be thrilled to disguise myself as you."  
"Me too!" Duncan said. "As Klaus, that is."

Violet, Klaus and Sunny exchanged worried looks.

"Are you sure?" Violet said, "Because that was just a spontaneous idea-"  
 _"Don't worry Baudelaires, don't feel disgrace."_ Isadora recided, _"The Quagmire sixtuplets are one the case."_  
"See, Isadora's reciting poetry again!" Carroll said, "We're dead serious about this!"

Klaus sighed. "Alright."

  
Regina wandered around the schoolyard. She was grunting and kicking the ground every now and again. To calm herself down, she sang some songs.

" _'Cause you had a bad day_  
 _You're taking one down_  
 _You sing a sad song just to turn it around..._ "

Sigh. It wasn't the same thing when no one was around. Regina wondered if she couldn't sing something more happy. 

_"Bing bang diggy diggy dong."_ she sang slowly. _"Funny words I sing when I am dancing. Bing bang diggy diggy dong-"_  
 _"Silly words that can mean anything."_

Regina stopped singing. She turned around to see who was continuing to sing.

Carmelita sat on a bench, and pouted. But she still insisted on singing.

 _"Get on up, it's time to dance, yeah."_ Carmelita sang.  
 _"It's so much fun being up on our feet."_ both of them sang. Regina smiled, as Carmelita stood up. Both of them yelled the lyrics of the chorus.

_"So we go up, up_   
_Do the jump_   
_Move around and clap your hands together!_   
_Down, down_   
_Turn around_   
_Having fun is what it's all about!"_

For once, the two girls laughed in the same room, about the same thing. It wasn't a fake laugh either, it was a genuine one.

"Wow, we never get along like this." Regina said. "This is weird."

Carmelita frowned. "You're weird."

Regina shrugged. "I want to be weird. Or, not weird... I just don't want to be like everyone else."  
"Well, you're not."  
"I'm not?"  
"No." Carmelita muttered. "Congratulations."

Regina took a deep breath.

"How are you doing after...?" she asked.  
"Your sister beat me up hard." Carmelita admitted. "My head is still beating."

Regina bit her lip. "Well... she shouldn't have hit you, but-"  
"I deserve it. I know. What I said was wrong. I know, cakesniffer."  
"Yeah..." Regina admitted.

Both of them were quiet for a while.

"I know you don't like me..." Regina said, "Because i'm an orphan and I apparently sniff cakes, which I had no idea that I did."

Carmelita seemed to smile a bit at this, but she tried to hide it.

"But singing with you like we did just a minute ago," Regina continued, "I wish we could do that, more often. We seem to get along. And, also..."

"Regina!"

Regina turned around, and saw Violet running towards her.

"Regina, we need your help." she said. "We won't force you, but... it's something..."  
"Okay." Regina said. "Sure, i'll help."  
"Good." Violet said, and dragged Regina away before she could say anything more to Carmelita, who just got left there.

"Violet, i'm telling you I can do it!" Isadora protested.

Violet took Isadora's hand. "If we want to fool Olaf easier, we have to take someone who has the same hair lenght as me. You and I don't have the same hair lenght."  
"But Regina doesn't have as dark of a hair as you do!"  
"It wouldn't make a difference in the dark!"

Regina had borrowed Violet's bowtie. 

"I think I look very convincing!" she exclaimed.

Isadora stuck out her tounge to her. The sisters hadn't solved their fight quite yet.

Sunny made some fake-glasses with her teeth for Duncan to wear. Either Duncan or Carroll could've gone, but Carroll knew that it would be much more meaningful if Duncan went.

"But what am I supposed to do?" Isadora asked, "Violet, I want to help!"

Violet hugged her. "You and Carroll will help us study for the upcoming tests tomorrow."  
Then, she whispered: "Besides, I don't want you to get yourself into danger."

Violet of course didn't really want any of the Quagmires to get themselves into danger, but she wanted especially Isadora to know this.

"What do we do with Sunny?" Carroll asked. He then proceeded to stand on all fours to make a crawling position. "I don't look like a baby even when i'm imitating one. Don't take offence, Sunny, I know it's not good."  
"No problemo." Sunny shrugged.

"What if we use a bag of flour." Isadora suggested.  
"A bag of flour, really?" Regina asked with an irritated tone. "Wow. Just wow."  
"Actually." Violet said, "As an inventor and big sister of Sunny Baudelaire, I can say that she is just as heavy as a bag of flour."  
"Danke." Sunny said.

"No one is going to be fooled by a bag of flour." Regina muttered.  
"Stranger things have happened." Klaus said. "We don't really have time for a better alternative."  
"You can drag the flour with a lace." Violet said.

Regina sighed. She trusted Violet. She trusted Klaus. She trusted everyone in this room. But she knew this wasn't a good idea. 

"You don't have to say yes, Reggie." Isadora said, "I'd happily disguise myself as Violet-"  
"No, I will do it!" Regina protested. "I _will._ Okay?"

Everyone was quiet.

"We don't have much time." Violet said, "You have to be there soon."  
"Now, are you sure you want this?" Klaus asked. "Otherwise, we can find some other way to our problems. You could run with us while screaming facts-"  
"We are ready." Regina said. She smiled at him, and decided to kiss him on the cheek.

Klaus just frowned at this. Then he shrugged it off and turned his attention to Duncan.

"Duncan." he said, "Don't forget the fake glasses."

Duncan grabbed the fake glasses and put them on. He did not look like Klaus, but if you saw him from a distance in the dark, then perhaps you could believe it was Klaus. Duncan also grabbed the lace to drag the bag of flour. 

"See you soon..." he said.  
"Good luck." Violet said.  
"Olaf won't see through these disguises!" Regina exclaimed happily. Though, she wasn't going to admit that she was scared as fuck of this. Well, if she showed how good of a disguiser she was, then maybe her siblings would forget their silly argument.

Now, the Baudelaires had to study. Isadora and Carroll helped them as much as they could.

"Klaus." Isadora said, "How long was that can of garbage?"  
"95 centimeters." Klaus said.  
"Wrong. It was 94,8. She is very strict about this, Klaus. Don't forget that one test where we were writing the lenght of a naked man."  
"Wait, what?" Violet asked, suddenly intriuged. "You measured a naked man?"  
"Well, we got a description of a naked man once." Klaus explained, "And Miss Bass told us to remember his lenght. It was exactly 180,6 centimeters, from toe to head."  
"That doesn't seem appropriate for a teacher to tell." Carroll said. "Even if it was only from toe to head, and not..."  
"We shouldn't complain, Carroll." Violet said, "Remember when Mr.Remora told us about his hot lunch-date?"

Carroll shivered. "Well, if that is on the test, then I will not ask you about it. Sorry."  
"It's fine, I unfortunately remember that one too well..."

The rest of the night went on. Carroll and Isadora asked Violet and Klaus a lot of questions. Sunny was trying to make staplers for her own test, where she would prove she was a good secretary. They all looked out every now and then to see how it went for Regina and Duncan. Unfortunately they couldn't see anything in the dark. They hoped they were safe...

  
The next day came. Neither Regina or Duncan was seen anywhere, but the Baudelaires couldn't wait for them. They needed to take the tests now. Isadora and Carroll supported them the best they could, but they really wondered where their siblings had gone.

The two Quagmires sat in the audience in the auditorium while the teachers, plus Vice Principal Nero, were standing with the Baudelaires on stage.

"I'm excited!" Vice Principal Nero exclaimed, "I will definetly expel you three today! And your witnesses will be your friends over there in the audience."  
"Hi." Isadora said, and waved.  
"You will not be expelled!" Carroll said.

Nero smirked. "Let the tests begin."

  
The tests were simple - Violet and Klaus would answer questions from their respective teachers while Sunny was doing various secretary tasks.

"Violet." Mr. Remora said, "What was the name of that creepy man in my elemanty schools gymnasium?"  
"JJ Bittenbinder." Violet replied.  
"Correct."

"Klaus." Miss Bass said, "How long was than can of garbage?"  
"94,8 centimeters." Klaus replied.  
"That is fully correct."

The teachers continued to ask them all sorts of questions.

"Violet, what did my date say after we finished the spaghetti?"  
"'Very lovely, indeed'."  
"Klaus, how tall was the naked man?"  
"180,6 centimeters."

Violet and Klaus answered question after question. Sunny also seemed to do an excellent work on her tasks. But since making up all questions they got asked, a sentence which here means that the author is fucking tired and has school tomorrow, you will only know that they answered everything and did all the tasks correct.

"Nero." Mr. Remora said, "We don't have to continue, I think. Violet obviously has studied."  
"And Klaus is really good at measuring!" Miss Bass added, "He gets an A plus!"  
"But I want to expel someone!" Nero whined. "Though, I admit Sunny did a very good job with the various tasks I gave her."

Isadora and Carroll cheered. 

"Stop cheering!" someone said.

They turned around, and became dead quiet. Coach Genghis stood in the opening, and walked towards the stage.

"I haven't done my test yet." he said.  
"If you want to test us," Violet said, "We will be more than happy to run laps."  
"We are in excellent shape." Klaus said.

Coach Genghis smiled viciously.  
"Oh, you don't have to do that."  
"We don't?" Klaus asked.  
"No, because two Quagmires have already taken their place."

Everyone of the kids went pale.

"What do you mean?" Vice Principal Nero asked, "I saw their shadows run around when I was walking from the auditorium."

"Well, it was the Quagmires. In disguise."

"What have you done to them?" Isadora screamed.

Everyone looked suprised at her.

"I punished them, of course." Coach Genghis said. "They are in the kitchen and are whisking."  
"Whisking?" Violet asked.  
"Yes... they will be whisking until they get whisked away."

Without hesitation, the Quagmires not in the kitchen and the Baudelaires ran out of the auditorium.

They could hear Vice Principal Nero yelling something after them. They were sure Count Olaf was following them. They didn't care. They had to see if Regina and Duncan were okay.

  
As they ran, they heard a muffled sounds of screams.

_"Get off me!"_   
_"Fuck you, I will bite you in the crotch if you don't let me go! I'm capable of it!"_

The Baudelaires and Quagmires exchanged nods. Then they ran the fastest that they could to what they thought was Regina and Duncan.

And it sure was. The two sixtuplets were dragged by a bald man and two white-faced women towards a car.

"Klaus!" Duncan yelled. "Violet! Isadora! Carroll! Sunny!"  
"Help!" Regina screamed.

"Oh, shit." Violet whispered. She and her siblings apparently recogonised the people who tried to push Regina and Duncan into a car. Everyone ran as fast as they could.

"We have found something!" Regina yelled while being pushed, "It's- it's something connected to everyone of us!"  
"VFD!" Duncan yelled.  
"VFD?" Isadora repeated.  
" _VFD!_ " Regina and Duncan shouted.

Now, Olaf dashed towards the car. He didn't even run in the running children's direction. He ran straight for the car.  
Within a second, he had gotten himself in there and was preparing to start it.

"VFD!" Duncan shouted. _"VFD!"_

The car started to drive. Regina popped her head out from the car window.

"Isadora!" she yelled, "I'm-"

She couldn't end the sentence, because someone grabbed a hand over her mouth and dragged her back in. Isadora, aswell as Carroll and the Baudelaires, ran as fast as possible to hopefully catch up with the car.

But it was too late. The car sped away faster than anyone could shout "VFD" for a millionth time.

"Duncan..." Klaus said. "Regina..."  
"No..." Carroll said, "They can't... it can't be true..."  
"We all saw it." Violet said sadly. "He's capable of kidnapping."

Isadora started to burst out crying. She placed herself on the ground, and cried like never had before. Carroll soon joined her. They sat on the dirty ground and hugged each other tightly, while they cried. Violet, Klaus and Sunny took each others hands, and looked in the distant. They were very sad, too. But, Count Olaf had already done so many horrible things to them, so they had learned to not cry as hard. Isadora and Duncan never had experienced this type of thing. The Baudelaires could only imagine how it must be for them. Slowly, they bent down and hugged the two remaining Quagmires, as if they were a shield around them.

None of the children could expect what happened next. Not Isadora or Carroll, who missed their siblings dearly. Not Violet, Klaus or Sunny, who would experience so many other unfortunate events after this, both with and without the Quagmires. Not Regina or Duncan, who were so scared and scarred. Not even Quigley and Lewis, who soon enough would learn about the horrible news of the kidnapping of their siblings...

This was only the beginning.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Now we are all sad and emotional. So it's perfect time for this fic to go on hiatus!  
> When three Sunnies part 2 is finished, this fic will be back on track! I have no way of knowing when, but probably sometime in april! Hopefully pretty early :-)
> 
> I hope you liked all the chapters this far! I love all your positive feedback!


	9. Newspapers, cars and coughs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Contains child abuse

Quigley and Lewis sat in the kitchen. They ate breakfast.

"Look." Lewis said, "That newspaper kid on the bicycle is here."

"I wonder if he just throws newspapers at the first people he sees and then moves on." Quigley wondered. "Anyways. Let's see what he threw in this time."

He picked the newspaper up in the hallway and went back into the kitchen.

"It says someone has been kidnaped..."

"Again?" Lewis asked. "It seems to be happening a lot... alright, who is it this time?"

Quigley started to read.

"Just yesterday, around the afternoon hours, the two siblings Regina and Duncan got taken by...the..."

He and Lewis became very silent.

"Jacques!" they screamed.

Jacques walked in slowly with a cup of coffee. "Yes, boys?"

"Our siblings have been kidnapped!" Quigley yelled.

"We need to get to them right away!" Lewis yelled. "And meet up our siblings who haven't been kidnapped, too! So all four of us can look for Duncan and Regina-"

"Now, now..." Jacques said calmly. "No."

The two boys stared at him. "No?"

"No." Jacques repeated. "It's far too dangerous for you..."

"But..." Lewis said. "Our siblings..."

"There are lot of volunteers out there for them right now." Jacques said. "Brave and noble people who will take care of it. You two will stay here where you are safe."

Lewis pouted. But Quigley nodded. "Okay!" he said.

* * *

"So, mr. Poe, there has really been five of us this whole time." Isadora explained. 

"It doesn't make sense." Poe said. "I'm sure I drove you two with the two other children who looked like you."

"Well we weren't there." Carroll lied.

"Yeah, don't you remember our siblings, Mr. Poe?" Klaus asked.

Mr. Poe coughed in their faces.

"I'm... sorry." he said. "I really must be tired... so terribly sorry. Of course. The five Baudelaires. Well then, come on."

As Mr. Poe walked towards his car, Isadora started to grin.

"Wow... he really fell for it. I can't believe he fell for it."

"Sch, he's right there." Violet giggled.

Mr. Poe was taking the Baudelaires to a new guardian because he learned about Olaf, and since Olaf had kidnapped Carroll and Isadora's siblings, they had to come with. Luckily Mr. Poe was stupid enough to believe their lies.

They were walking towards the parking lot, when they noticed Carmelita standing in a kind of insecure pose.

"Uhm..." she said, "Do... you know where Regina is? Not that i'm- it's just that she is often with you."

Isadora walked up to her. She glared at her.

"Regina and Duncan has been kidnapped by a man who is a murderer, and a pedophile, and probably an arsonist too. We're leaving this school now to search for them."

Carmelita looked shocked. "Oh..." was all she could say.

Isadora glanced at the bruises that Carmelita had. Those were from when they had a fight in the cafeteria earlier.

"Hey..." Isadora said. "I'm sorry. And... I know Regina liked you, even if the rest of us acted cold."

Carmelita just looked at her. Isadora nodded and went to the car.

"Maybe we'll see each other one day, Carmelita." she said as a final word.

  
The five of them squeezed into the back seat. Carroll said he could have the front seat so it would be less crowded in the backseat. Isadora sat in the middle, with Violet on her right and Klaus on her left, with Sunny on his lap. Carroll turned back at Isadora anf smirked slightly. Isadora just frowned back.

Though, after a while of riding the car, Isadora was wondering what the fuck her brother was meaning by this. Why did he smirk? Did he know something was up?

"Your new guardian will surely keep you safe from Count Olaf." Mr. Poe said, "They live in a penthouse in the richest and innest part of the city."

"Oh, 667 dark avenue?" Isadora asked.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"My bro-" Isadora begain, before realising she was pretending to be related to the Baudelaires, "My friend Quigley liked maps and he often pointed out places he wanted to go in the city."

  
Carroll smiled sadly as she said this. 

"That sounds like a very boring interest." Mr. Poe said.

"It's not!" Isadora yelled.

"He had a lot of maps!" Carroll yelled. "And he loved them. And we loved to listen to what part of the city he had found on the map this time!"

"Wow, it sounds like you had a close relationship to this friend, my children." Mr. Poe said and coughed some more.

"We did..." Carroll replied. "We really did."

  
Isadora felt someone touching her and noticed Violet stroking her hand slowly. Both of them smiled at each other.

"Thank you." Isadora whispered. 

"We are here!" Mr. Poe said.

Everyone got out of the car. In front of them was a very very dark avenue and the highest penthouse building they ever seen.

"How many floors is that?" Klaus asked.

"Atleast 40." Violet guessed.

"Nah, i'm thinking more up to 60." Carroll said.

"100!" Sunny shrieked.

"Alright." Mr. Poe said, "I hope you will be safe here! Bye!"

He drove off before they even could say goodbye. 

"Fucker." Isadora pouted.

"Well, shall we go inside?" Violet sighed.

They were met by a doorman.

"Hello, children. Who are you?"

"We are the Baudelaires." Klaus said.

"Ah, yes, you're expected. Though I was sure there were less of you... oh well, welcome. They Squalors live on the top floor, so it's just for you to take the stairs."

"Oh, is the elevator broken?" Violet asked, "I'm good with mechanics, I can repair it."

"No, the elevator isn't broken. It's just out."

"Out where?" Klaus asked.

"Out."

The five children looked confused and started to climb the stairs.

* * *

"Stop whining, you stupid brat!"

Regina and Duncan were dragged by all of Olaf's henchmen.

"Maybe i'll stop whining if you leave us alone, you bitch!" Regina growled.

They saw a big, ugly house in front of them. They thought they were going inside, but Olaf and his henchmen seemed to lead them to a place behind the house. The two siblings saw a shed. A tall, bald man opened it and Olaf pushed them down some dark stairs.

The two young Quagmires survived the fall, but in the bottom of the stairs was just a meter of floor and then a wall, which meant they could've hit their head if they were unlucky. However, falling down even the smallest of stairs can hurt very fucking much.

"You two will be here," Olaf explained, "Until I know where your siblings and the Baudelaires went."

"Fuck you!" Regina cried.

"Yes." Olaf said. "You say that now. You know who also said that to me? The Baudelaire children. Just look at what happened to them."

"The Baudelaires have gotten out of your schemes multiple times!" Duncan protested. "A-and... we will, too!"

He wasn't sure of that, but he wanted to show the little bit of courage he had left.

Olaf grinned. "And yet... I always find the Baudelaires again, and again... this time, they won't get away so easily... now they have to come to me, if they ever want to rescue their precious friends."

Duncan and Regina just glared at the evil man. They wanted to cry.

"Oh, and I haven't even mentioned your other siblings. Your parents were lucky to get so many children at once. I remember the day you were born..."

"You?" Duncan asked, "You weren't there when we were born!"

"Child." Olaf said, "There is something called a newspaper. When you give birth to sixtuplets, newspapers write about it."

The triplets hated to admit that he was right. They remember that they had the newspaper article in a little box in the attic where they also had photo albums and other stuff. The sixutplets had read it so many times that they could recite it outside and in. Apparently, Olaf could too.

 _"Today, the city's largest hospital had to the deliver the largest number of babies they ever had."_ Olaf recited, _"The doctors are happy to inform that six healthy babies have been born to the Quagmire couple..._ Oh, you see! I have known about you since you were newborns."

"Then why didn't you kidnap us sooner, you fucker?" Regina asked.

"I have a longer history with the Baudelaires than I have with your parents, my dears." Olaf explained. "Don't take it personally, but I didn't really care about you until I noticed your existence at Prufrock."

Regina and Duncan glared angrily at him.

Some henchman threw a sandwhich at them.

"That's your meal for today." Olaf said. "Goodnight, children. I need to make some calls."

As he closed the door, the two Quagmires felt hopeless. They hugged each other tightly and started to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I won't really start posting regularly for a while, but see this as a little teaser for more to come! :D


	10. More siblings coming out

It was a lot of stairs to walk up to. Lots and lots of stairs. It felt like the children were climbing them for hours.

"Did they live on the top floor?" Isadora panted.

"Yeah..." Violet replied. "I don't know how many floors there are left."

  
On every other floor was an elevator door. The children could've taken the elevator if it wasn't "out". Every now and then they would hear someone talking behind the apartment doors.

People were laughing, screaming and whispering behind the doors. Sometimes you could hear water getting turned on, or a slight cough.

"I wonder what people will hear when they walk past the apartment we're staying in." Klaus said.

"Klaus, we're staying in the top floor, not many people will walk by." Violet said. Then she hesitantly said "Sorry! I'm just..."

"...tired and stressed? Yeah, I get it. It's okay."

Everyone was silent for a few stairs.

"How are you holding up?" Violet asked after a while. She was obviously asking Carroll and Isadora.

Carroll sighed. "It's just... everything at once. We haven't really had the time to think a lot."

"We get it." Klaus said.

"I know you do."

"I hope the guardians are helpful." Isadora said, "Your previous guardians didn't seem helpful at all of what you told me, but hopefully these are."

They finally reached the top floor.

"That's strange." Klaus said. "This floor has two elevator doors..."

"We can think about that later." Violet said, "Let's meet our new guardians."

  
They slowly knocked at the door, and almost immediately a man dressed in a pinstripe suit opened it.

"Welcome, children! Oh, how I have waited for you!"

He then glanced at Isadora and Carroll.

"Though I first thought it was three..."

"Oh, yeah." Carroll said, "You see, me and Isadora, we are... twins, born between Violet and Klaus, and they forgot to make a birth certificate for us so we are... yeah, we are not documented."

He then facepalmed inside because he felt like it was a terrible lie. However, if this man fell for it, then his skills of coming up with a story quickly was really helpful.

"Oh, that makes sense." the man said, "I completely understand. It doesn't matter to me, because we have plenty of space in this penthouse! I'm Jerome Squalor, by the way!"

"Hi!" Sunny shrieked.

"Oh, you must be exhausted from the walk. Come in and i'll give you something to drink."

Jerome started to fill up five glasses with water, and some olives in it to make it fancy.

"This is called an aqueous martini and-"

"-and it's very in." someone filled in. The kids turned to their left and saw a woman walking towards them.

"I am Esmé Gigi Genevive Squalor, but call me Esmé."

"Eggs!" Sunny giggled.

"I said call me Esmé."

Everyone was quiet.

"I'm so happy you're here." Esmé said. "Orphans are very in right now, and when my friends see that I have three- no, five orphans, in my house, then they will be so jealous."

"How long is something in?" Carroll asked carefully. "I don't want to know what happens if orphans become out."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, my child!" Jerome exclaimed. "Oh, we have heard about everything horrible that happened to you, children!"

"Yes, that horrible man named Olaf!" Esmé exclaimed, "He won't come here!"

"We just wish our sib-" Carroll said, before correcting himself. "We just wish our friends weren't kidnapped."

"Oh, the Quagmires." Jerome said, "I understand your worry."

"Well, one good thing about being rich is that you don't have to worry!" Esmé exclaimed, "All the cops in town are on a city-wide manhunt for Count Olaf, and when they capture him, the Quagmires are going to live right here with us!"

The Baudelaires, and Isadora and Carroll smiled.They hoped the cops were going to find Olaf soon.

"This penthouse is larger than I thought." Klaus said.

"I know!" Jerome answered, "This penthouse has almost too many rooms! You could get lost here very easily if you don't have a system."

"Oh, that reminds me." Esmé said. "You may choose whatever room you like to sleep in."

"Every bedroom has their own kind of theme." Jerome explained, "So, please tell us! What are your interests?"

Every child in the room smiled brightly, and one by one started to tell them about their interests. Jerome and Esmé listened carefully, and when everyone was done they seemed to know exactly what to say.

"Violet, since you're an inventor you should take the room with the wooden bench." Jerome said.

"And Klaus can take the room where there's several bookshelves of lots of books!" Esmé added, "Just like a tiny library!"

"Sunny can have the room between them." Jerome said. "I have bought some kids toys."

"Now, the twins..." Esmé said.

Carroll and Isadora looked nervously at her.

"Do you want to share a room? Since you're twins?"

"Oh, but I think they can have their own rooms." Jerome said. "We have plenty of rooms. But of course, you are allowed to share rooms if you feel more comfortable with that."

"I don't care..." Carroll admitted, "I can share a room, but I can also have my own room."

"There's two rooms next to each other who both have good views of the town." Jerome explained, "As an author and poet respectfully, you could get a lot of inspiration."

Isadora and Carroll smiled.   
"That sounds wonderful." they said together.

* * *

Regina and Duncan huddled together. Olaf let them out every five hours for bathroom breaks, but then it was back in the cold, dark shed. 

"Reggie?" Duncan asked carefully.

"Yeah?" Regina replied.

"I-if... we don't make it out of here..."

"Duncan, don't say that!"

"But listen! If we don't... you might know something I really want to tell you."

Regina was silent. Duncan took a deep breath.

"Me and Klaus... we really enjoyed each others company."

Regina's heart started to beat faster, as she realised what her brother was about to tell her.

"And... we were..." Duncan continued.

"You and him were... roomates?" Regina asked, smiling teasingly.

"Uh, yeah- but that's... Regina..."

"Yes, Duncan?"

"I'm gay and I am in love with Klaus."

  
Regina was silent. There it was.

"Thank you for telling me." she replied shortly. "I appreciate that."

Duncan frowned a bit. "Regina?"

"Yes?"

"You weren't actually in love with Klaus, were you?"

"What?" Regina asked, sounding a bit offended. "I mean, why would you-"

Duncan stared at his sister. "Regina. Come on. Not even Klaus believes it."

"Well, Klaus is just bad at picking up flirts-"

"Okay, then why has he picked up every single flirt that I have given him, Regina?"

Regina didn't answer this. 

Duncan took Regina's hand.

"Be honest with me now. I'm your brother and I want you to not hide anything for me."

"Oh, there are things you definetly shouldn't know." Regina admitted. She snickered a bit. "I have done very absurd things in my life, brother."

  
Duncan frowned. "I don't mean we should tell each other everything... but atleast be honest with each other."

"Sure." Regina said, "What do you want me to be honest about?"

"Reggie... do you even like boys?"

"What? Of course I do!"

"How do you know?"

Regina started to think. "Well, when I was little I had this... huge obsession with Peter Pan. I used to dream about him coming to take me in the middle of the night."

"Didn't Carroll write a story about that?" Duncan asked.

"Yeah, he did. I think my Peter Pan obsession is the reason I later wanted to be a finnish female pirate."

"Have you ever had a crush on a real boy, or is it just fictional people?"

"Yeah, I have gotten some crushes on boys through the years." Regina said. "Remember that boy who we used to play with when we were like... 9?"

"I think so... I don't remember his name, but did he wear overalls and had a slingshot?"

"Yeah!"

"Did you have a crush on him?"

"Yes... I did. I mean, I was nine and I don't remember his name... but still to this day I can remember us sitting on the rooftop just talking..."

Regina closed her eyes. "...and I just hoped he and I would kiss... but we never did. Except in my imagination."

Duncan smiled. "Did you know that Carroll tried to get me and Klaus together since he first came to Prufrock?"

"Really?" Regina asked, and grinned.

"I'm not joking. Carroll told me that he was so tired of his siblings being smitten with love that he had promised himself to play matchmaker."

"Did he know about Isadora...? Or did you know about Isadora being...?"

"Isadora being gay? Yeah, he knew that. He told me that he was the least concerned for Isadora, because if Violet wasn't straight then Isadora would definetly try to make a move. I didn't know Isadora was gay until he told me, but I had always assumed it... he also told me about you..."

"Wait, what?" Regina asked, "Me? Why me?"

"He knew you had a crush-"

"What? I didn't have a crush on anyone there!"

"Regina, didn't you say you had a crush on Klaus before? Now i'm getting more evidence to the opposite."

"Okay, okay! You got me! I'm not in love with Klaus."  
  


"Who did Carroll think I was in love with?" Regina asked after a while.

"Do you want to know?" Duncan asked.

"Yes, because I have no idea."

Regina did actually have an idea, but she was not going to admit it.

"He said to me that he knew you had a crush on Carmelita." Duncan explained.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Yeah, I mean, he's kinda right."

Regina looked offended. "I am _not_ in love with Carmelita!"

"But you kinda was-"

"No!"

"Reggie, listen to me!" Duncan demanded, "Let me explain."

Regina became quiet.

"First of all, you were the only one of us that didn't seem to immediately get annoyed by her." Duncan said. "Then, you considered writing songs about her... you always replied in a flirty voice whenever she was present..."

"But that's how girls talk to each other!" Regina protested, "We talk in flirty voices."

"You and Isadora don't talk in flirty voices."

"We are sisters!"

"Has any of your female friends and you talked in flirty voices?"

"Well... no..."

Duncan smirked. "Regina, you know which two girls who talk to each other in flirty voices? Isadora and Violet. And we have established that atleast Isadora is crushing on Violet."

Once again, there was silence from Regina's part.

"Come on, Reggie... can't you be fucking honest?"

"Honest with what?"

"Do you like girls?"

Regina stood up. "I just said I liked boys!"

"Yes, but do you like girls, too?"

"Yes- no! I mean, girls are nice but I don't want to kiss them or anything, but some girls do have very nice lips and I just feel like touching them, but not in that way! I mean when I see some boys my mind explodes because come on... they are boys! You know what I mean? Boys!"

"Yes, I do know boys." Duncan nodded. "Boys are awesome."

"It's true that when I slept over at my old friend Janis house I thought she was really cute when she was sleeping and I wanted to kiss her, but it doesn't mean anything! People are just cute when they are sleeping! Boys and girls! Everyone! Everyone is just cute when they sleep, right?"

"Regina, calm down-"

"And whenever I put on dad's old shoes that looked like they were golden colored I used to dance around and pretend everyone was in love with me in the audience."

"Wait, what are we talking about now?"

Regina started to hum a bit to a song. 

_Diggiloo Diggiley life is going my way_   
_When i'm walking in my golden shoes_   
_Everything I ever dreamed of has suddenly come true_   
_Diggiloo Diggiley let this miracle stay_   
_I can be whatever I would choose_   
_Please don't wake me up i'm dreaming of me in golden shoes_

She them sunk herself down onto the floor and started to giggle.

"Regina?" Duncan asked carefully. "Are you okay?"

Regina continued to giggle.

"Regina, are you crying?"

"No, i'm not." Regina snickered.

"Then, what's up?"

Regina took her brother's hand and grinned.

"Duncan, I am a pansexual goddess."

  
Before Duncan could respond, Olaf opened the door to the shed.

"Get up, brats. We are going somewhere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I laughed so much writing "Duncan, I am a pansexual goddess."  
> That may have been the weirdest sentence I have ever come up with, so there's that. Hope you enjoyed this.


	11. An old friend

The Baudelaires and Isadora and Carroll had never slept in such cozy beds as they had this night. They woke up and ate breakfast in different kitchens, because this penthouse was so big they had multiple ones. As they found each other in the large corridors, they also managed to find Jerome.

"Good morning, children!" he greeted them. "I hope you have eaten breakfast."

"Yes." Violet said, "It was very delicious. Atleast my breakfast."

Everyone else nodded, indicating they also had a delicious breakfast.

"How would you like to go around town with me today?" Jerome asked. "You can go wherever in town you want. I always love visiting places I haven't been in for a while. It gives me nostalgia."

The children smiled.

As they were walking down all the stairs, the children were thinking of where they wanted to go.

"You know, it would be fun to visit our friends." Klaus said. "Or, our old friends, maybe."

"Yeah..." Violet nodded.

"We also had some friends before the fire..." Isadora said. "I'll admit it would be fun to just catch up with them again."

"Though, I don't know what street our friends lived in." Carroll admitted. "I just remember walking out and just finding their house."

"Quigley should've been here." Isadora sighed. "He knew every street on the map."

"I wish elevators weren't out." Violet said, "Or else I we didn't have to walk up and down all these stairs."

"Didn't you get a design of an elevator shaft for your birthday once?" Klaus asked.

"Yes!" Violet exclaimed, "From Ben! Remember Ben?"

"Of course I remember Ben... it would be fun to see him again."

"If you know where your old friend Ben lives," Jerome said, "Then we can go and visit him. Or her."

"I would love that!" Klaus exclaimed. "I think I remember where he lives... atleast the street."

Violet grabbed Isadora's arm. "Would you like to visit Ben? Our old friend?

"Yeah!" Isadora replied, "Sounds fun."

Isadora actually thought this sounded fun. She herself didn't remember where her friends lived, as the Quagmire mansion lied a bit away from other houses, so they had to walk a bit if they wanted to visit their friends, and they never really paid attention to the street names. 

Violet and Klaus were more or less the ones leading everyone to the place. After walking around for around half an hour, they said that they started to recogonize the streets and that Ben's house probably is close.

"You know, I feel like we have been here before." Carroll whispered to Isadora.

"Yeah, I feel the same." Isadora nodded.

Violet suddenly jumped up and down and almost dropped Sunny. 

"There!" she said. "There's Ben's house! Klaus, hold Sunny!"

"I can't hold her, my hands are too sweaty!"

"Independent!" Sunny shrieked.

"No Sunny, we will not let you crawl on your own!" Violet yelled.

"I can take Sunny." Isadora said. "If you two are nervous-"

"Thanks, here!" Violet said and almost threw Sunny to her.

Violet and Klaus nervously walked up some stairs to knock on the front door.

"I hope he's home..." Klaus said.

After a minute of waiting, someone opened the door. It was a boy that looked to be a bit older than Klaus, but a little younger than Violet, yet still older than the Quagmires.

"Oh my god..." the boy said slowly. "Baudelaires?"

"Hi, Ben!" Klaus and Violet said in high pitched voices.

"Holy shit!" Ben exclaimed and hugged both of them. "I thought you two were dead!"

"No, we're alive." Klaus giggled. "God, it's been so long."

"We're here to quickly catch up." Violet said. "And tell you a bit of where we have been."

"Where's your baby sister?" Ben asked.

"Oh." Klaus said, "Sunny is right here."

Isadora walked up, holding Sunny.

"Aww! She's so big!"

Ben then got a look at Isadora. His eyes widened.

"You look familiar." he said.

"You look familiar, too." Isadora admitted.

"You're pretty."

"Ew."

Ben suddenly looked very suprised. He started to laugh.

"Wait... Ice Queen?"

Isadora lit up. "The only one who ever called me Ice Queen was..."

Carroll ran up to get a better look, and his whole face blew up of suprised smiles.

"Benny?"

"Oh my god, Carrollino? Or are you Lewie man?"

"Carrollino, Lewie man is dead."

"Aw, that sucks, man! Sorry for your loss!"

"What the fuck is going on right now?" Violet exclaimed.

Ben smiled. "I had never in my world thought that the Baudelaires and the Quagmires would meet!"

"How did you know both of us?" Klaus asked.

"I know all the kids in town." Ben shrugged.

"But what's with the weird nicknames?" Violet asked.

Now it was Isadora and Carroll's turn to laugh.

"Okay!" Isadora giggled, "So, we were friends when we were like, nine?"

"Benny had this idea that we were going to call ourselves by nicknames so no one knew our actual names in case something happened." Carroll explained. "Me and Isadora became Ice Queen and Carrollino."

"Brilliant names." Violet said.

"And then Regina and Duncan..." Isadora snorted, "Weren't their nicknames Reesepiece and Duni cani?

"Yeah!" Carroll exclaimed, and laughed very loudly. "God, we had a special kind of imagination!"

"I'm very curious to hear what Quigley was nicknamed." Violet said.

Everyone became silent.

"Oh." Ben said. "You mean Quigglefort?"

Everyone snorted.

"Okay, we should stop." Carroll said, "Quigley can haunt us from beyond."

"Wait, is he gone, too?" Ben asked. He looked genuenly sad.

"Lewis and Quigley are dead." Isadora said sadly. "Regina and Duncan are kidnapped."

Ben looked shocked for a moment, before he nodded slowly. "Okay. Sure."

  
"This is Jerome, by the way." Klaus said awkwardly. Jerome was standing a bit further away. He didn't really listen to what the kids said, which was good, because then he would've found out that Isadora and Carroll actually weren't related to the Baudelaires.

"He's our newest guardian." Violet said.

"How many guardians have you had?" Ben asked.

"Many." the older Baudelaires said together, and Sunny nodded.

"This man, Count Olaf, ruins our life and now he has ruined the Quagmires life, too." Klaus said. 

"He kidnapped them." Isadora said and looked down on the ground.

"And well, that's an update on our lives!" Violet said.

Ben smiled a bit. "I'm glad we could catch up."

"Yeah, and now we have to go back to our unfortunate lives." Carroll said. "It was a suprise to see you again, Benny."

"Yeah... good luck, people. Hope you kill that bastard."

"Oh, we will." Isadora said.

Ben hugged them all and waved goodbye. 

  
  
The rest of the day went on. Jerome took them to some other places around town and then late in the evening, when they had walked up all the stairs to the penthouse, they were so tired that they could barely stand up.

Isadora was getting ready for bed. She was looking out the window. She hoped that somewhere down in the busy city she had a view of was her brother and sister.

"My two siblings out of reach..." Isadora recited to herself. "...will meet me again in... oh no... ugh, let's start over. My two siblings out of reach..."

"...I hope they will hear my speech." someone finished.

Isadora turned around to see Violet. She was wearing a white nightgown.

"Esmé bought this for me." Violet said, "She said victorian nightgowns are in."

"Okay, but she didn't buy me one." Isadora replied.

"Well, maybe she liked your pyjamas so much already. I like it, atleast."

"Thanks."

Violet closed the door and walked in with her hands behind her back.

"So... I can't find back to my room and i'm too tired to look for it... do you think I could sleep in her with you?"

Isadora's heart beat a little faster. Violet could technically just go to bed in another room, since this penthouse had so many bedrooms it was insane. But instead she asked if she could sleep with her.

"Absolutely." Isadora said and smiled brightly. "Though, there's only one bed in here."

"Well, then we share the bed." Violet shrugged.

Isadora was exploding inside.

  
"Well, let's go to bed, then." she said, and lied herself down. Violet lied next to her. Before they turned the lights off, they looked at each other for a while. They smiled.

"What was that couplet you were working on?" Violet asked.

"I was just thinking of my siblings..." Isadora said. "I just hope they are nearby. I hope we find them soon."

"I promise we will." Violet assured her. "If Olaf comes here to get us, then he will definetly bring your siblings with him. Not that I want him to come here, but..."

"Yeah..."

Violet stroked Isadora's hair. Then she snorted.

"Ice Queen... where did they get that nickname?"

"It started with I." Isadora shrugged. "We just took the first word or mixture that started with our first letters."

"Well, that explains Reesepiece." Violet chuckled.

"And don't forget Duni Cani." Isadora added. "It's literally 'Duncan' but with a weird pronounciation."

"I'm glad I got to know Ben after he had weird nicknames on his friends." Violet giggled. "You know, I think he told me once that he had friends who were sixtuplets, but I didn't believe him."

Both girls laughed a bit. They knew they could be as loud as they wanted, because this penthouse was so big that no one could hear them. 

Isadora bit her lip. She felt like she wanted to tell Violet something. Something that she wanted to tell her for a long time, but never really found a good moment to. Well, now they were all alone.

  
"Hey..." Isadora said and smirked. "What if one of us was a lesbian?"

Violet turned to her, and smirked back. "Heh. How embarrasing."

Isadora looked at her with curiosity. Could she be...?

"And..." Violet said, "What if one of us was bisexual?"

"I guess that could be embarrasing, too." Isadora replied, "If the lesbian and the bisexual both had feelings for each other, and now share the same bed."

"But it doesn't have to be embarrasing, now does it, Isadora?"

"I... guess not?"

Violet sat up and looked at Isadora. 

"We'll see if this is gonna be embarrasing or not." she said, and slowly leaned in.

And just like that, in a very absurd circumstance, Isadora had her first kiss. Violet pulled away and made an insecure face, as if she wasn't sure this was the right thing. But Isadora smiled and kissed her back.

As Isadora stopped kissing her, she smiled brightly. She couldn't believe this was happening. She then reached for the light switch next to the bed.

"Goodnight, Violet." she said, turning the lights off.

As she tucked herslef into a sleeping position, Violet wrapped her arms around her.

"Goodnight, Ice Queen."


	12. Carroll is DONE

Regina and Duncan sat in a cage and was carried through some tunnels. They were frightened and didn't know what was going to happen next. Olaf seemed to be working on some weird accent.

"I'm so glad we didn't have to drive all the way to that spirit lady this time!" one of the henchfolk said. "Now we only needed a phone call."

"Yes, i'm thrilled that my old theatre student still sees me on good terms." Olaf replied. "I heard she doesn't only have the Baudelaires, but the two Quagmires too."

"Isadora and Carroll?" Regina asked.

"Yes, brat. Those."

The henchpeople dropped the cage down. 

"Now, you two little orphans will have nothing to worry about." Olaf said, "You will meet your siblings again, I promise..."

As he said this, he smiled with evil in his eyes. The two Quagmires glared at him.

"Let's go, people!" Olaf ordered and walked away. Everything became darker and more frightning.

"One day, I will have my revenge." Regina said. "If we get out of here, he'll see..."

"If we get out of here, I will run as far away from him as possible." Duncan admitted.

  
The two siblings were quiet for a moment.

"Hey, Duncan." Regina said, "Do you have any more... secrets you want to share?"

"Not really." Duncan shrugged. "You?"

"Nah."

"I more have these... weird promises that I have with every sibling." Duncan said. "That I haven't really told because... well, not because they are secret, but more like, they aren't exactly interesting stuff."

"What do you mean by 'weird promises'?"

"Well, for all of our siblings I either had a promise, or they had a promise that if something happened, one of us would to a specific thing. It's different for each sibling. Do you want to hear?"

"Well, I have nothing else to do here." Regina slightly chuckled.

  
Duncan started to tell.

"Well, Quigley first, because we're going in birth order. I promised him that if I ever saw him go somewhere without a map, I would hit him with a stick."

"Okay, that sounds like Quigley." Regina giggled.

"Then, Lewis said to me that he would never fall in love with anyone, and if he did he promised to give me five bucks."

"Aw, Lewis..."

"Isadora... I promised her to never ever eavesdrop in the girls bedroom. If I did, she would bite my leg."

"That's very wise of you to not eavesdrop, Duncan. You don't want to know what we have discussed."

"Then Carroll... I just promised him that he would always be the first one I would share my pack of nerds with."

"Oh my god, now when I think about it you always went to him first whenever you had nerds." Regina giggled. "But hey... why have we never promised each other anything?"

Duncan shrugged. "I guess we never had any reason... but wait, we did promise something yesterday."

"What?"

"To be honest with each other." 

Regina smiled. "I think we have kept that promise pretty good this far."

"Yeah." Duncan agreed. "So, have you promised any of our siblings anything?"

"Hmm..." Regina thought. She could only really think about one thing, something that she and Isadora promised each other. Though, it could be too much information. But at the same time, she and Duncan were being honest with each other.

"Isadora and I promised each other something at Prufrock." Regina said.

"What?" Duncan asked.

"She promised me that I would be the first person she would tell when she got a crush..."

"Oh?"

"...if she would be the first person I would tell when... I got my first period."

Duncan looked away awkwardly. "Okay..."

"Yeah."

"So uh... have you kept the promise...?"

"She has kept her part." Regina said, "So I must do my part when... that happens."

"Fun. Cool... uh- so, do you think Quigley and Lewis are ghosts right now and has been following us this whole time, but they can't do anything because they are ghosts?"

Regina looked at her brother with a very big frown.

"Yes." she answered, "Totally. And they are laughing at us because we're having these conversations."

"And they feel bad for us because we are in these circumstances." Duncan added.

Regina started to shout. "Hey, dead bros! I know you can't do anything to help us, but if you could be so kind, please cause bad auras around Olaf so he can't focus and maybe fails easier with his schemes?"

Everything that was heard was silence. Little did the two kidnapped siblings know that many floors above them were the people they loved, and help was on the way.

* * *

"Hey, Isadora?" Carroll called. He opened the door to his sisters room, and as soon as he did he froze. In Isadora's bed was herself, fast asleep. Next to her was Violet, hugging Isadora tightly. Carroll smiled brightly.

"Finally." he whispered to himself and closed the door.

"Hey, Carroll." Klaus said, carrying Sunny. "Violet wasn't in her room. Do you know where she is?"

"She could be in one of the million rooms in this house." Carroll shrugged. "Or she could be just behind this door."

"You should write a story about that. Call it 'The sister in the million rooms'."

"I will."

Sunny tapped on the door in front of them.

"What room is this, Carroll?" Klaus asked.

"Well, open and you'll see." Carroll replied, smirking. 

Klaus opened the door and immediately noticed Isadora and Violet sleeping.

"Oh..." he said. "Shall we mention this to them?"

"Nah." Carroll said. "I think they should tell us in their own time."

"Girlfriends!" Sunny shrieked.

"Yeah, but schh..." Klaus said as he closed the door. "We don't want to wake them up, Sunny."

The two boys and Sunny sneaked away from that part of the hallway, giggling.

  
"Hello, dears!" Esmé greeted. "Where's Violet?"

Everyone was silent.

"And the other girl, Isadora?" Esmé added.

"They are still in bed..." Carroll explained.

"Why? Are they sick? It's not very in to be sick!"

"No, they are just sleeping, calm down, woman."

Esmé rolled her eyes. "I just got you some new clothes."

She held up black and white pinstriped suits. 

"With these, you will be more in than before! Orphans wearing pinstripes! It will really elevate the popularity for me!"

As she said "elevate" Klaus looked up.

  
They were changing to the pinstripes.

"Carroll, I have been thinking about the elevator shafts again." Klaus said.

"Really? Is that one of your new big interests?"

"Ha ha. Seriously, I think... the reason there is two elevators on this floor is because they are hiding something in the second."

"Yeah, I guess. Hey, I just want to say that I hate these pinstripe suits?"

"Carroll, focus!"

Carroll sighed. "I get it. I want to find my siblings more than anything, but I don't think they are in a second elevator shaft."

"How did you know I thought that they-"

"Klaus. I'm a sixtuplet. Multiples have a gift of reading minds."

Klaus helped Sunny get her pinstripe suit on.

  
"God, how long can the girls sleep?" Carroll muttered. "It's like 9 am!"

"Before the fire, Violet used to sleep for really long." Klaus said. "Especially if she had been up the night before inventing."

"When I think about it, Isadora did the same." Carroll said. "She and Regina usually had long, long discussions until like 5 in the morning, so..."

"Maybe Violet and Isadora just fell asleep late." Klaus shrugged.

"Or they are so comfortable sleeping next to each other that they don't wake up." Carroll smirked. "I know you and Duncan were like that at Prufrock..."

Klaus smiled, but then his smile dropped.

"Duncan wasn't just a guy I liked." Klaus said, "We have only known each other for a short while but... I feel like we are soulmates."

"Santana." Sunny said, smirking.

Klaus looked shocked. "Sunny Baudelaire! Who taught you that?"

"What did she say?" Carroll asked.

Klaus shook his head. "There's this character named Santana in a thing we watched... and Santana always says a thing whenever... anyway, it's not an appropriate word."

"I said my first non-appropriate word when I was just two." Carroll said. "Just a fun fact."

  
As they walked out, they met Violet and Isadora in the hallway. They were holding hands, but immediately let go as soon as they saw the others.

"Wow, you look super ugly." Isadora said.

"Thanks, because you're going to wear the same as us." Carroll replied. "Esmé's order. Your pinstripe suits are in there."

Isadora let out a groan. Violet shook her head and dragged Isadora inside to change.

As they walked out again, Violet did a little spin.

"You're actually looking quite fancy in that tight suit, Vi." Isadora complimented.

"Thank you." Violet replied. "You look like a business woman who also is a mother of four and will protect her children at any cost."

Isadora laughed at that. 

"Oh, I see all of you have changed." Esmé said, passing by. "Wonderful. There's someone i'd like you to meet."

She lead them through the hallway until they arrived at a room.

"Orphans. This is Gunther."

Gunther stood up to take a look at the children. He smiled. However, when the children saw him, they did not smile. They had seen this man before and they knew for a fact that he was not someone named Gunther...


	13. Kidnapped and un-kidnapped

"Hello, dusty orphans." Gunther greeted, "You may please excuse my accent, as I am please, a foreigner."

"Hell no." Isadora said and walked out of the room.

Gunther and Esmé looked a bit confused.

"Anyway." Esmé said, "Gunther and I are going to work on a very special thing and I just wanted you to see him so you can avoid us when we are working."

"That won't be hard." Carroll said.

"Good, off you go."

As soon as they went out of the room, they saw Isadora standing into a wall.

"Isadora?" Violet asked, "Are you alright?"

"He's here..." Isadora said, turning around to them slowly.

"Yeah, we know that was Olaf." Klaus said. "I don't really care telling Esmé right now because I know she won't listen. But if he's here..."

"...our siblings must be close!" Carroll exclaimed. "Klaus... maybe you're right about the elevator shaft!"

  
Before anyone could say anything else, Carroll and Klaus ran away. The girls hurried to follow them. The kids ran all the way to the front door, opened it and dashed to the second elevator.

"Okay." Klaus said, "Do we dare to open it?"

"Boys, what the fuck is going on?" Violet asked.

"We think Regina and Duncan is in an elevator shaft, since there's two elevators on this floor." Klaus said.

"Well... isn't there an elevator?" Isadora asked, confused.

  
Carroll pushed the button to open the elevator door. Everything they could see was deep, deep darkness. No cables. No wires. Nothing.

Isadora looked down into the deep darkness.

"Hello!" she screamed, "Is anyone down there?"

"Careful, or you will fall in!" Violet said and dragged her back.

There was only a noise from Isadora's echo. Atleast, at first. Suddenly, they heard a small voice shouting from deep under grounds.

"Help!"

  
Klaus lit up. "Duncan!" he yelled.

"Klaus?" someone shouted back, with a small voice.

"Okay, they are definetly down there." Violet said, and tied her hair up. "We must find ropes. The Squalors must have ropes somewhere in the house."

"I love how you tie your hair and just think." Isadora said flirtingly.

Violet hushed her, and gestured at Klaus and Carroll behind them. But she smiled.  
Carroll and Klaus exchanged knowing smirks, and they wondered how long their respective sister would go without telling them anything.

  
"Where could they have ropes..." Violet mumbled.

"Ask?" Sunny suggested.

"No, Sunny, we can't ask for ropes! I can't come up with any lie to why we need them anyway."

They walked around the house, almost opening every single door to find any kind of rope. There was no rope-room, but there was random ropes scattered around the rooms. One in a kitchen, several in different bedrooms, one inside a closet in a living room, and one hanging in the ceiling of a gym. Violet also thought of stealing some ties in case the ropes were too short.

The kids managed to sneak out with everything. They had helped to tie them all together and were now ready to climb down. 

  
"Who should go down first?" Klaus asked.

"It's my invention." Violet said, "So I should go down first."

"What if it doesn't work and you die?" Isadora asked carefully.

"Well, then I died a hero." Violet said. 

Carefully, she started to climb down.

They saw how Violet disappeared down the dark elevator shaft. After a while, they could hear her voice.

"It's okay. You can start to climb down."

On by one, everyone started to climb down after Violet. In the dark, they could see nothing but their own hands holding the ropes. The only thing they could hear was each others breaths. It seemed like they were climbing down for ages.

When they finally reached the ground, they were met by a big cage. Inside the cage was two people they had been looking for.

  
"Duncan!" Carroll exclaimed. "Regina!"

"Oh my lord!" Regina exclaimed, "Duncan, i'm hallucinating! This elevator air is poisonous!"

"No, I think they are actually here." Duncan said.

Klaus smiled and reached out his hand to touch Duncans.

"We are real." he said.

"Atleast we think so." Isadora said, grabbing her sister's hand.

"Oh, Isa!" Regina exclaimed, crying. "I have so much I want to tell you..."

"I know." Isadora said. "We will talk everything out as soon as we get you out of here."

  
Violet tied her hair up and Isadora smiled hopefully at her.

"See! Violet is going to invent to open that lock!"

Violet closed her eyes to think. "Maybe we can just lockpick it."

"I think this is some kind of weird special lock." Regina admitted.

Violet glanced at it in the dark.

"You know Olaf is up at the penthouse right now?" Carroll said. "He probably has the keys."

"Or one of his henchmen does." Violet shrugged.

"Fuck." Isadora said.

"I think we should go back up and get some stuff." Violet suggested.

"Are you crazy?" Isadora exclaimed. "I'm not going back up there! I'm staying here with my siblings."

  
Violet looked at Isadora. She sighed.

"I understand. But i'm going up."

"I'm going with you." Klaus said. "I think the Quagmires need a moment to reunite."

"Klaus, you look handsome in that pinstripe suit." Duncan said.

Klaus looked at him and shook his head, as he smiled. He then looked around at everyone else. "Fuck it."

He grabbed Duncan and kissed him.

"We'll be back soon." Klaus said.

Isadora and Violet shared a glance, but they didn't really want to kiss in public yet. Though, their brothers being a couple was something they didn't really know about, even if they of course had suspected it, so they didn't really get suprised. What Violet did instead was to give Isadora a knowing pat on the shoulder, and a smile. As Violet and Klaus, and Sunny who wanted to follow her siblings too, climbed up the elevator, the Quagmires had a chance to reunite as siblings.

  
"Isadora..." Regina said, "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Isadora asked, confused.

"For what I said at Prufrock..."

"Oh, that? I forgot that a long time ago, sister!"

Regina smiled at this.

"Oh, by the way." Duncan said, "Me and Klaus are dating."

"Yeah, we saw that." Isadora giggled.

"You didn't get suprised?"

"No?"

"Isadora's probably the one who would be least suprised in these situations anyway." Carroll said. "Well, after me. And Lewis. Lewis wouldn't be suprised."

"I miss Lewis." Duncan said sadly.

"I miss Quigley, too." Regina added.

"Yeah, but Quigley would be the most confused if he found out you dated." Carroll snickered. "Just imagine him. His jaw would drop."

"But how are you taking this?" Isadora asked, taking Regina's hands. "You said you had a crush on Klaus."

"Oh, I never did." Regina said. "I just pretended."

"Yeah, we have been knowing." Carroll sighed.

Everyone chuckled slightly. But as they did, they heard footsteps.

"Fuck!" Regina exclaimed, "It's Olaf's henchmen!"

"We'll handle this!" Isadora said.

"We will?" Carroll asked.

  
Before their eyes, three henchmen walked into the door. It was a man with hooks, a bald man and someone they couldn't identify a gender to.

"Who are you?" the man with hooks asked.

"You know who we are!" Isadora said in her darkest voice.

"We do?"

"Yeah!"

The three henchmen looked a little confused, and also a bit embarrassed that they didn't know who these were.

"Oh..." the bald man said. "You... yes."

"What are you doing here?" Isadora continued.

"We are getting the kids out of the cage and putting up this net."

"What's the net for?" Carroll asked, trying to not sound scared.

"Oh, boss said the Baudelaires was onto him, so soon Esmé will push them down the shaft, and you know... they can't die. We gotta set up a net quickly!"

"I knew Esmé was evil..." Isadora whispered under her breath. Thankfully no one heard her.

"We can take care of the kids." Carroll said, "The boss said he was coming down here to bring us... oh, I can't remember the name! But you know, tools. To the the Quagmire twins here to not complain."

"Oh, that." the person of inteterminate gender said. "Okay, then you're probably going to need the key for the cage."

"Yes..." Isadora said.

"Okay then, here you go."

They handed a key over to Isadora.

"We will be fixing the red herring." the hook-handed man said.

"Red herring?" Duncan asked.

"Oh yeah, brat." the bald man said. "We are going to stuff you in a literal red herring!"

The three henchmen laughed and walked off.

  
"What the actual fuck?" Regina exclaimed when the henchpeople were out of sight.

"I know, right?" Isadora agreed. "But we got the keys! You're free!"

"We still gotta put up that net, though." Carroll said. "Esmé is evil and she will push them down!"

"Then we will capture them!" Duncan said, getting out of the cage.

He pushed the cage further away so all four Quagmires your stand in a square and hold up the net in the air, ready to capture three falling Baudelaires.

"This is so fucked up." Regina said. "Everything is... so fucked up."

"Yeah." Isadora nodded. "But we're together again."

As she said that, they heard a voice coming far up.

"I know! We'll take the elevator!"

What happened next was three bloodcurled screams coming closer and closer to them.

"Fuck!" Carroll exclaimed and hesitantly dragged the net up.

"Oh, shit!" Isadora added. 

All four Quagmires let out a series of swears, as they held up the net so much they could. They really hoped their friends would survive.

With three _thump!_ s, the Quagmires saw all three Baudelaires shaking and screaming in the net.

"Aaaah!" Klaus screamed.

"You're okay!" Regina yelled, "You landed in a net."

"We're alive!" Violet cried. "But we're not okay! Our guardian just threw us down the elevator shaft!"

"You are alive, Baudelaires, but you are far from okay!" Esmé screamed from the top of the building. "You and the Quagmires will be smuggled out of town-"

"Oh, shut up!" Regina exclaimed, "You're full of shit!"

"Wait, haven't the Quagmires been taken away yet?" Esmé asked, confused. "I thought Olaf's henchpeople made sure to take them away so they didn't plan something with the Baudelaires."

  
The Quagmires and Baudelaires glanced at each other.

"Fuck." Isadora whispered.

"We gotta run." Duncan said. "Now."

In a few seconds, the seven children hesitantly opened the passage door and ran out to the tunnels that they were met with on the other side.

  
"I would react to the fact that there is a fucking secret tunnel here, but i'm too panicked!" Violet exclaimed, almost dropping Sunny.

"Where are we heading?" Carroll asked.

"I don't fucking know, but run!" 

  
They ran and ran around in the dark tunnels.

"Where are we going?" Regina asked.

"Lookie!" Sunny said, and pointed at a light nearby. Everyone ran there to see.

"I don't know if we should go up here." Violet said.

"Hey!" someone shouted somewhere in the tunnels. "Where are you brats?"

"But I guess we don't have time!" Violet said quickly and pushed the entrance up.

  
They all ended up in an alley pretty close to 667 dark avenue.

"Okay, what the fuck." Klaus said. "There is... so much to take in right now."

"Let's summarise." Duncan said. "Your guardian, Esmé, is actually in cahoots with Olaf. They will smuggle us all out of town."

"What about Jerome?" Isadora asked.

"Jerome is just a sad man." Carroll admitted. "He can't help us with anything even if he wants to."

The kids sighed.

" _Life is a fucked up mess_." Regina sang. " _Life is a fucked up mess_."

"Well sang." Isadora said.

"Where do we go now?" Violet asked.

  
Everyone shrugged. They walked out of the alley to see where they could go. That turned out to be a terrible mistake.

  
Just as the seven of them set foot on the sidewalk, a black car pulled up. Out came five of Olaf's henchmen. The hook-handed man, the bald man, the henchperson of indeterminate gender and the two white-faced women.

The children didn't even hear what they had to say, as they started to run for their lives. 

"Come back here!" the bald man yelled, "The boss wants you!"

"Ew!" Isadora blurted out.

Violet tied her hair up in the middle of running and tried to figure out where they could run. She glanced at a railing down the street where there was a hill on the other side.

"Perfect." she mumbled.

Sunny, who was being carried by Violet, didn't know what her sister was about to do.

"Everyone, over the railings!" Violet shouted and tossed Sunny over, before jumping over herself. The two sisters landed easily on the grass on the other side.

Soon after, other children jumped over, and they all slowly rolled a bit downhill.

  
Isadora looked back up.

"Oh my god! We made it!"

"Yeah!" Violet cheered.

"Duncan!" Klaus exclaimed, "I can't believe we-"

He stopped. Duncan was nowhere to be seen.

"Duncan?" 

"Duncan!"

"Where's Duncan?"

Isadora suddenly shivered. "Guys... Regina is gone, too."

They ran up the hill to look. There they saw Duncan and Regina, being held by several people. Duncan was carried by the hook-handed man and the bald man and the henchperson of inteterminate gender carried his feet. The white-faced women had lifted Regina into the air by only holding her arm on each side. Regina kicked and screamed.

"No!" Isadora cried, and started to climb the railing. Just as she did, Regina and Duncan was pushed into the car and Olaf drove away faster than ever.

"No!" Carroll cried, "Please, not again!"

They barely made it over the railing before Olaf was gone with their siblings again.

"Fucking bullshit." Isadora sniffed. "Why?"

"Because life hates us." Carroll said. "That's why."

The Baudelaires hugged Isadora and Carroll, just as they did at Prufrock prep.

Just then, a taxi pulled up. A man walked out.

"Hello, children. My name is Jacques Snicket. Do you need to follow that black car?"


	14. Pissed siblings

Quigley and Lewis were in the reptile room. They were huddling together in the corner of a sofa, worrying about their siblings.

"I just want to find them." Lewis said. "Quigley, we need to get out of here."

"But Jacques said-"

"Forget Jacques. It's you and me. It's our siblings."

  
Just then, Jacques walked into the room.

"Hello, boys. I need to go away."

"What?" Quigley said. "Why?"

"There's something I have to do." Jacques admitted.

"What is it that you have to do, Jacques?"

  
Jacques sighed. "It's about a certain kidnapping."

"The kidnapping of our siblings?" Lewis asked.

Jacques didn't reply.

"Jacques, we need to see our siblings!" Lewis said. 

"It's too dangerous." Jacques said. "You two can get yourselves kidnapped."

"If we get ourselves kidnapped it just means that we will meet our siblings!" Lewis argued.

"Lewis, please don't..." Quigley said.

Jacques sighed. "Boys. You will meet your siblings again if you let me go."

"You promise?" Lewis asked.

Jacques didn't reply again.

"Goodbye, my children." he said and walked out of the house.

  
"I don't think he will keep his promise." Lewis said.

  
Quigley sighed. "Lewis... I can promise you something."

He turned to his brother.

"If Jacques doesn't come back in a week, then we will go."

Lewis looked at Quigley.

"You promise?"

"I promise. I know you don't trust Jacques, but I do. Though, if he doesn't come back in a week... yeah, then we're leaving."

Lewis sighed. "I hope our siblings still can find happiness in these dark times."

* * *

"Get into my taxi." Jacques Snicket said.

"No, why?" Isadora asked, slightly disgusted.

"You want to chase Count Olaf, right?"

"Yes." Carroll said, "But we won't hop into the car of a total stranger."

Jacques shrugged. "That's what taxis are for."

"Well, we know how to escape if you try to kidnap us." Violet said.

"I'm glad to hear that. That skill is very useful."

He opened the back door and gestured for the children to get in. Violet volunteered to sit in the front seat, since she claimed she could take the steering wheel if Jacques couldn't drive. 

It turned out Jacques was a pretty decent driver. Almost too good. Olaf's car was on full speed and got further and further away from them, while Jacques drove under speed limits.

  
"Pardon my language, but why are you driving so fucking slowly?" Carroll asked.

"You see, my dear Le-" Jacques began, before correcting himself. "Carroll. We don't want to risk to being stopped by the authorities for driving too fast."

"Is anyone gonna comment he was about to call you our dead brother's name?" Isadora exclaimed.

Jacques smirked slightly as she said this.

"Jacques?" Violet asked, "How much can we trust you?"

"Well, you're calling me Jacques and not 'Mr. Snicket", so I'll say that's already proof that you trust me."

"In some cultures, you actually adress most people with their first names." Klaus noted. "Even teachers and men you just met."

"Well, that's fair." Jacques admitted.

They were quiet for a while.

"So..." Isadora said, "How do you know about our existence?"

"That's a complicated question." Jacques admitted. "You see, I was friends with the Baudelaire parents when we were growing up, and I also met your parents, Quagmires, every now and then. We were part of the same organisation..."

"VFD?" Carroll asked.

Everyone turned to him.

"When Regina and Duncan was kidnapped for the first time, they yelled something about VFD..."

"Oh yeah, that was a thing!" Violet exclaimed.

Jacques didn't reply, and instead just continued to drive.

  
After a long drive, the car stopped outside a village of some sort.

"Where are we?" Carroll asked.

"This is VFD." Jacques explained.

"This?" Violet asked, confused. "VFD?"

"Yes!"

"Where's Olaf?" Isadora asked.

"I can't answer that, Isadora." Jacques admitted. "But I am certain he was heading here."

* * *

  
A red herring. They got stuffed in a red herring.

"I'm killing them." Regina said. "I have a knife. Look."

She held up a knife for Duncan to see.

"Who gave you that?" Duncan asked.

"I pickpocketed a henchman." Regina shrugged.

  
She started to carve something with the knife.

"What are you doing?" Duncan asked.

"Oh, just something to tease Isadora with if we ever get out of here."

"Why?"

"Because I just feel like it."

Duncan frowned, and tried to look at Regina's carving.

"IQ + VB?" 

"Yep." Regina giggled.

"Is Isadora and Violet a couple?"

"I don't know that." Regina admitted, "They didn't show anything to us atleast, like you and Klaus did. But I know Isadora is in love with her, so you know..."

"Reggie, that's kind of childish."

Regina turned to her brother and smirked. Then she changed the _IQ_ to _DQ_.

  
"Regina, no!"

"Yes!"

"No, what the fuck! Now people are gonna think I love Violet."

"Bro, do you seriously think Violet, Klaus or any of our siblings will believe you're in love with Violet when you specifically said you were dating Klaus."

"But everyone else-"

"Duncan."

Regina hugged him slightly. "They'll know it's a joke."

  
The red herring suddenly got opened.

"Alright, brats!" Olaf ordered, "I'll allow a quick bathroom break, but then we'll get you hidden."

Regina glanced at the houses outside.

"A lot of people will see us, Olaf." she said. "You're stupid."

"Oh, fear not." Olaf replied. He put a hand on each of the siblings shoulders. "There's a place where no one would look... ever."


	15. No one is having fun

"Okay, here's the deal." Jacques said, "I have a friend here who's more than welcome to take you in while I search for Count Olaf. I'll take you to him right away."

"But we want to kill Olaf with you." Isadora whined.

"I'm not going to kill him." Jacques said, "We are just going to talk. Volunteer to volunteer."

"What the fuck?" Violet mumbled.

"That's not going to work." Klaus said, "He'll kill you."

"Fear not. I have known Olaf since we were children. I can handle him."

The children stared at him in disbelief.

"Come along now." Jacques sighed, "My friend here will be pleased to take care of you."

  
He lead them through the town, and out to a house near a barn. Slowly, he knocked on the door.

After a minute, a confused-looking man opened.

"Jacques?" he asked, suprised.

"Hi, Hector. I need to ask for a favor."

Hector glanced at all the children around him. He nodded slightly.

"How long?" he asked.

"For the time it takes for me to talk to Olaf."

"Oh my! Is he here?"

"We suspect so."

Hector looked incredibly terrified.

"I'll be more than happy to take care of these kids."

"Thank you." Jacques said.

He started to wave at the children, indicating that he was about to leave.

"If you don't come back in ten hours, we will come after you." Violet said.

"I'll advise you if you don't." Jacques warned her. "Goodbye, children."

  
Hector smiled awkwardly at the children.

"So, what do you have in your barn?" Isadora asked, pointing at the barn next to the house.

"That's..." Hector said slowly. "That's secret."

"Oh, yeah?"

"As a normal person I don't tell secrets to someone I just met."

"That's very wise of you, sir." Carroll complimented. "Now, can we tell you a bunch of things about who we are and why we ended up here?"

"Yes." Hector replied.

The children started to tell him about Count Olaf, and their siblings. They told him about Esmé and the elevator shaft. They told him most about everything.

"Wow..." Hector mumbled. "You... poor children. No one has to go through that kind of stuff!"

"We know." Isadora said.

"It's stuff like this that makes me want to escape into the sky and never look down..." Hector admitted. "Which is... in fact what I plan to do."

"How?" Klaus asked.

"Come to my barn, and you'll see."

* * *

Regina and Duncan got pushed through the town. No one was out. They tried screaming, only for Olaf and Esmé to put hands on their mouths. They suddenly reached a fountain.

"Here..." Olaf explained, "Here, I hid once playing hide and seek with Beatrice."

"Who the fuck is Beatrice?" Regina asked.

"I'm not talking to you two!" Olaf growled. He turned to Esmé. "We were both here for a day because our chaperone needed to get something, I don't know. We got bored waiting, so we decided to play hide and seek. She didn't find me for three hours."

"Beatrice always sucked at finding missing things." Esmé said. "Her children probably follow the same path."

"That's good for us." Olaf said. He pushed the two Quagmires forward.

Despite Regina kicking and trying to bite them, and Duncan just trying to walk slowly to make them push him harder, both of them managed to get stuffed into the fountain.

"Have fun." Olaf said. "No one will find you."

  
He closed the fountain so much that they couldn't get out. They screamed and cursed, but were ignored. After a while, they realised it was hopeless to scream.

"Don't panic..." Regina said. "We will be saved. We have been saved before."

"I'm still fucking miserable." Duncan said. "I don't want to be kidnapped."

"I don't think anyone wants that. Except psychos."

They were silent for a moment.

"You can see some light from above." Regina noted. "Maybe we can climb up."

"It's too tight." Duncan said sadly.

  
Regina reached her hand up in the air. She noticed that she could reach to the top, but it was in fact too tight for the rest of her body to get through.

"Fuck." she muttered.

  
Suddenly, Duncan started to cry.

"Hey..." Regina whispered. She hugged him. 

"I'm sorry!" Duncan sniffed.

"You're sorry for crying?"

"I'm-"

"Duncan, you should never be sorry for crying unless someone has forbidden you from it. I haven't forbidden you."

Duncan hugged Regina back.

"We'll get through this." Regina said. "Okay?"

"How?" 

"We'll figure something out. Besides, did you see how easy Olaf opened this fountain? Someone must just accidentally open it, and then we're free, right? And... if we hear people outside, we'll scream, ok?"

"Ok."

  
They were silent for a while, just hugging each other. Regina acted calm, but she was actually more scared than Duncan was. She wanted to believe they would get rescued, but Olaf seemed to have chosen this hideout for a very specific reason.

"We atleast have our notebooks." Duncan said.

"Oh, that's right." Regina replied. The two of them had notebooks who they admittingly hadn't written in for a while because they had to focus on other things.

Duncan skimmed through his notebook. "I don't know much about this VFD, but I know I will never join it."

"Me neither." Regina said, "I'm sure no Quagmire is positive towards VFD."

"Do you think our parents where in VFD?"

"No... is VFD even a club or organisation? We only heard the henchman talk about it. It sounded like some society that evil people are in."

  
Regina leaned back and took a deep sigh. Suddenly, she went extremly silent.

"Regina?" Duncan whispered, wondering if they were supposed to be quiet for something.

Regina looked a bit nervous, as if she was hiding something. She looked down on the ground.

"Please, not now." she whispered to herself, "Not here. Why now? Please say i'm only imagining..."

"Reggie, what is it?"

"I'm... not sure." she admitted.

"Can you tell me?"

Regina shook her head.

"Why?" Duncan asked.

"Because... while I am not sure, I may have an idea and... if that idea turns out to be true, then I promised Isadora she was the first one to know..."

Duncan was silent for a while. "Oh." he finally said.

* * *

  
"I'm worried about Jacques." Quigley admitted. 

"He's an adult and he wants to protect us." Lewis shrugged, "Why the fuck are you worried?"

"I feel like something bad is happening to him."

Lewis stood up, smirking. "You want to get out of this house too, don't you?"

"No! Jacques told us to stay here! Besides, I don't have any map to the outside."

"You and your maps..."

The boys suddenly saw a light coming from outside.

"How strange." Lewis said. "It's dark outside. Where does the light come from?"

The light was pointed at a book at a table nearby the boys. Suddenly, the book started to get small smoke steams coming from it.

"Wait..." Lewis mumbled.

"Is the books..." Quigley said slowly, "...burning?"


	16. Crows are a girl's best friend

"You have to promise me to not tell anyone about what you're seeing in here." Hector said.

"We promise." all the children replied in unison, except Sunny who only shrieked "Promise!"

"Good." 

Hector slowly opened the barn and led the children in one by one. When everyone was inside and he had closed the door again, he turned on the light.

"This." he said, "Is what I call a hot air flying mobile home."

"A hot air flying mobile home." Violet said.

"A hot air flying mobile home." Klaus said.

"Are you two okay?" Carroll whispered.

"I plan to fly away with this someday." Hector said. "Maybe you can come, too. After hearing about your troubles, I think you'll like to go into the sky and never come down again."

"That sounds darker than you meant it." Isadora admitted.

"I have to fix a few things to know it's safe enough." Hector said, "But soon enough, we can fly away in this. All of us."

"We mostly wish our siblings could join us." Carroll said.

"Oh right, Olaf kidnapped them, right?"

"Yes."

"Olaf was always a meanie." Hector admitted. "I didn't meet him a lot when we were kids, but whenever I did I always felt like he was going to go down a dark path."

All the children nodded.

"I really hope Jacques has found Olaf." Isadora said. "Unless Olaf is good at hiding."

"If Olaf is good at hiding, then why does he always reveal himself?" Violet asked.

"Yeah, true."

"Well.." Hector mumbled, "You must be hungry. You want some mexican food?"

* * *

Regina and Duncan stood in silence for very long. Suddenly, Regina noticed a shadow above them.

"Is that a crow?" she asked, suprised.

"I believe it is." Duncan said.

Regina's eyes widened.

"Brother, I have an idea!"

"Wow, that's the first time."

Regina flipped him off. "Give me your notebook."

"What's wrong with your notebook?" Duncan asked.

"I had to use my notebook papers for an emergency thing." Regina replied, giving Duncan a knowing glare.

"Oh... right."

Duncan ripped a page of and handed Regina a pencil. Regina started to write on it.

"What are you writing?"

"Something to get us out of here."

She reached up as far as she could and shook the paper in her hand a bit. The crow outside curiously peeked inside.

"Hey..." Regina whispered. "If you find kids who look like us, please bring this note to them."

The crow nodded slowly and grabbed the note with its beak. Then it flied off.

"How do you know this is going to work?" Duncan asked.

"We'll just have to wait and see, won't we? Besides, that crow was obviously trained. It listened to me right away."

"How are you so casual?"

"I have no fucking idea. I might go insane."

* * *

  
The Baudelaires and Quagmires in Hector's barn went out of Hector's barn.

"If I'll just check the last things." Hector said, "Maybe we can fly away tonight!"

"You literally met us today." Isadora noted.

"You're VFD kids! I can relate to your struggles! The one thing I can do is breaking the cycle by atleast saving some children."

Carroll stared at him. "We are... not VFD kids."

"Well, you're chased by Count Olaf and you came here with Jacques." Hector shrugged.

"Still."

Suddenly, a swarm of crows were flying across the sky.

"Murder!" Sunny shrieked, ecxitedly.

"She means a murder of crows." Klaus translated, "Sadly not a real murder."

"Yeah, there are a lot of crows here." Hector sighed. "They are nice, though."

Suddenly, a paper dropped from the sky.

Isadora picked it up. She looked shocked.

"What is it?" Violet asked.

"It's Regina's handwriting." 

"Oh, shit!" Carroll exclaimed, "Read it! Read it!"

Isadora started to recite.

_For our sapphires we are held in here._   
_Only you can end our fear._   
_Until dawn comes we cannot speak._   
_No words come from this sad beak._   
_The first thing you read is the clue._   
_An initial way to speak to you._   
_Inside the letters the eye will see._   
_Nearby are your friends, siblings and VFD._

  
"Wow, did she write poetry?" Klaus asked.

"No, I think this is a song she made." Isadora shrugged, "I just read it in poetry."

"First thing you read is the clue." Carroll said. "What's the first thing? The word 'for'?"

Klaus started to squint at the paper. "Maybe she means the first letters of every sentence."

He and everyone else present who could read started to connect the first letters. Then, they said together in monotone voices:

"Fountain."

"There is a fountain nearby in the town." Hector said.

"Then we must go there!" Violet exclaimed, "Right away!"

"You think Jacques have spoken to Olaf yet?" Isadora asked.

"We'll see when we get there, won't we?"

* * *

The books were indeed burning. 

"Fuck..." Quigley whimpered. "Fire. Not good."

"Our enemies have found us!" Lewis screamed as if he was playing a game of hide and tag, when he actually was dead serious. But as the fire from the books spread to the table and started to catch onto the curtains, Lewis wished he was really playing. He wished that he and Quigley had found a perfect hiding place. He wished that their siblings tried to find them, but couldn't, and when they eventually did, Lewis and Quigley ran away faster than light with their siblings chasing them. He wished that Quigley got taken by being surrounded by Regina and Isadora, so Lewis could do a little dance because he won the game, but then Carroll just tackled him from behind and then all six of the siblings would laugh.

But this wasn't a fun game of hide and tag. This was for real. There was a fire in the room caused by an unknown person who probably was an enemy from the outside. Lewis and Quigley both felt the stress building up. Last time there was a fire, they had been separated from their family. They would not repeat the same mistake.

"Quigley!" Lewis yelled, "We have to get out!"

"But can't we put our the fire?" Quigley asked in distress.

"No, we can't!"

"So we are just gonna let it burn?"

"Yes, it's spreading faster than we can think! Come on, we're getting out before it spreads to the hallway!"

"But... Jacques?"

Lewis turned to Quigley. "I have a feeling we won't hear from Jacques for long..."

He then grabbed his brothers arm and started to run towards the front door.

"Wait!" Quigley screamed, "I'm the oldest! I should lead!"

"Okay, open the door!"

"I will! Don't tell me, I can do things without you telling me to do them!"

"We really don't have time to argue right now!"

Quigley opened the door and dragged Lewis out. However, as soon as they both got outside he looked around anxiously.

"Where do we go?" he asked. "We don't have a map!"

"Quigley, we need to go without a map!"

"But-"

  
Lewis grabbed Quigley by the shoulders. "Listen! This house is about to burn down and we need to get out of here! We just have to run, okay?"

Quigley looked down on the ground.

"Okay..."

"Hey." Lewis said, "This isn't about leadership and who will lead who out from the fire. It's about sticking together and surviving."

Quigley nodded.

"I love you." Lewis said, "And you can run without a map. I know it."

"You're giving off more older sibling vibes than me." Quigley admitted.

"Hey, just because you're the oldest doesn't mean you're automatically the one in charge. We are fucking sixtuplets. We were born at the same time. We are all leaders!"

Quigley hugged Lewis.

"Okay, Quiggs, the fire is starting to spread..." Lewis said anxiously.

"Okay, then we should run!" Quigley flinched.

"Yes, we should!"

Hand in hand, the brothers ran out of the place they had been living inside for several weeks. They were going to an uncertain future. They only had their notebooks and a backpack of spare food Jacques had left for them when he had to go away.

The world was quiet, and it was burning.


	17. A rescue and a goodbye

The gang headed towards the town square. They were a bit nervous of meeting Olaf (or any citizen), but kept together.

"The fountain is over there." Hector informed. He pointed at a fountain shaped as a crow.

"How the fuck did someone stuff two children into that thing?" Carroll asked. "Are you sure they just aren't in a place called fountain?"

"She sent the note with crows." Isadora said. "This place is like the headquarter for the crow-ernment."

After noticing no one laughed at her pun, Isadora went silent.

  
"Well, you know something good about being in VFD?" Hector said, "You know all the secret hideouts."

He looked around to make sure no one was seeing them. Then gave Sunny a glance.

"Is it okay if I hold you?" he asked. 

"Sure." Sunny shrugged.

Hector lifted her up and walked over to the fountain. He started to stand on his toes.

"Can you pull that beak?" Hector asked. Sunny nodded, and Hector held her up so she could reach it.

Sunny grabbed the beak with her tiny hands and tried to pull. Nothing happened.

"Come on, you can do it!" Violet cheered on.

Sunny suddenly jumped out of Hector's grip to grab the beak with only her teeth. Hector looked a bit suprised, seeing this small toddler hanging by herself with nothing but her teeth. 

Sometimes Isadora and Carroll forgot that this kid had super teeth, because suddenly the beak was starting to get pulled down, with only the weight of Sunny and the strenght of her teeth.

Sunny lost grip and Hector was quick to catch her. They all saw how the fountain slowly opened itself. Violet, Klaus, Isadora and Carroll went over to look inside.

Inside was two very dirty and confused children.

Isadora looked at them.

"Siblings!" she screamed.

"Brother! Sister!" Carroll screamed.

Regina and Duncan smiled with hope and glory in their eyes. They ran out of the fountain and tackled their siblings to the ground.

"Oh my god!" Duncan exclaimed, "Regina's fucking note worked!"

"I told you it would!" Regina replied.

All four laughed on the ground, while the Baudelaires and Hector just stared at them and smiled.

"We're finally together again!" Duncan said, almost tearing up.

"No one splits up the Quagmires!" Isadora exclaimed and raised her hand in the air.

Duncan noticed someone standing above him and he looked up.

"Klaus..." he mumbled, and stood up so both of them could face each other.

"I've missed you." Klaus said. "I mean, we've only been apart for a couple of hours, but I still miss you."

Duncan hugged him hard.

Regina hugged Violet and Sunny.

"Now we just need to find Jacques." Isadora said.

"Who the fuck is Jacques?" Regina asked.

"He's a guy who drove us here because he knew Olaf." Carroll shrugged.

"He's going to give Olaf 'a talk'." Violet giggled. "And this is Hector!"

"Hi!" Hector said awkwardly.

"He has a hot air mobile home that he plans to fly away with soon!" Klaus added, "Because he is tired of this town."

"Cool, can we join?" Regina asked.

"Yes, of course." Hector said, "I need a crew who can help me on board."

Violet looked around. "Okay, this town is not big. Jacques shouldn't be far from here."

"Jacques!" Isadora suddenly screamed, so loudly that several crows flied away in confusion.

"Geez!" Carroll exhaled, "Isa, you can't just scream. There is a murder pedophile psycho man around!"

"Murder pedophile psycho man." Klaus chuckled. "That's perfect."

They started to walk around the town.

"It's strange we haven't seen any people." Violet said. "Where is everybody?"

"People tend to stay inside." Hector shrugged. "Which is good in cases like this."

After looking around for a while, they suddenly heard a loud scream coming from the salon.

"Oh no, is the Jacques guy in the salon?" Duncan asked, "We aren't allowed in there. We are under 18."

"What the fuck." Regina mumbled. "Please, there are no cops around anyway."

She dragged Duncan into the salon, with the rest following them.

  
"Who the fuck screamed?" Regina yelled.

Silence.

"Woh, this place is dusty." Isadora commented, and proceeded to sneeze.

"Bless you." Violet said flirtingly.

Klaus noticed a giant red herring standing in front of them.

"Why do I recogonize this?" he asked.

"Oh, that's the red herring Olaf stuffed us in." Regina explained.

"What if Jacques is in there?" Klaus suggested.

"I mean, probably not." Isadora said. "But we can look."

They helped each other open it, with Violet pulling the left side and Isadora pulling the right.

"Ok, there's nothing in here." Isadora said.

"But there is something carved..." Violet noticed. "DQ + VB?"

She glanced at Duncan.

"It was Regina!" Duncan protested. "I swear!"

Regina only laughed. Violet shook her head. Klaus put his hand on Duncan's shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile.

"She originally wrote IQ + VB, but then she changed it." Duncan explained.

"Wait, why?" Isadora asked, sounding a bit offended.

"I don't know." Regina said, smirking.

"Hey kids..." Hector said slowly, "I don't want to ruin your fun, but there is a dead man in here."

Hector was standing behind the counter and everyone ran towards him too look.

"No, don't look!" Hector whimpered, "This can cause you trauma!"

"Don't you think we already have trauma?" Carroll asked. "Let us see the dead body!"

Hector sighed and let the kids take a peek. He had already tears in his eyes, and the children soon understood why.

The dead man who lied behind the counter was none other than Jacques Snicket.

"Jacques..." Violet whispered.

"I knew it was a terrible idea." Isadora sighed. "No one can just 'give Olaf a talk'. He was a fool."

"Jacques wasn't a fool." Hector said, "He was a noble man. But if he's dead then Olaf, or someone else who is dangerous, is very nearby..."

"We gotta go to the hot air mobile home." Carroll concluded.

Everyone looked at Hector, and he nodded.

As they ran back towards the barn, something made them stop their tracks.

"Halt!" a voice shouted.

They turned around to see two people dressed in the most ridiculous police and detective outfits ever. No one could ever believe they were an actual police and detective.

"Hector!" someone yelled. Up came a woman who looked to be fairly old. "This police and this detective have come to our town because a murder has been happening."

They noticed there was a group of people starting to walk towards them. They were most likely citizens who lived in the town.

"Yes." Hector said, "The murder of Jacques Snicket-"

"Jacques Snicket?" the detective asked. "Don't you mean Count Olaf?"

"Wait..." Regina mumbled. "Aren't you Count Olaf?"

All children started to back away.

"Me?" the detective asked, offended. "I am Detective Dupin! No Count Olaf!"

"If you're detective Dupin then I am Carmelita Spats!" Regina replied with sass.

"If you're detective Dupin then I am Esmé Squalor!" Isadora giggled.

"Excuse me?" the police said, stepping forward. "You? Nuh-uh! You are not Esmé Squalor."

"You're right." Isadora said. "You are."

"Yes..." the police replied, "No, I mean no! I am Officer Luciana!"

"You already said 'yes'." Carroll said. "You revealed yourself."

Esmé stared baffled at the children.

  
Suddenly she turned to the crowd behind her.

"Citizens! It has come to my attention that this is in fact the murderers of Count Olaf!"

"Wait, what the fuck?" Violet exclaimed.

"It's true!" the detective agreed, who obviously was Count Olaf. "We saw them!"

"That doesn't make any sense!" Klaus protested.

"Murderers in our town!" someone exclaimed.

"We shall burn them!" someone suggested. "Right now!"

"Run!" Isadora screamed, and everyone ran the fastest that they could. Luckily for them, most citizens were pretty old and didn't like running, and Olaf and Esmé were just slow.

  
"Okay, we gotta get into the sky as quickly as possible!" Violet said.

"On it!" Hector answered. They were outside the barn now and he quickly opened the door. "I'm starting the engine and then you can hop on!"

He started to do some last minute checks, as Olaf, Esmé and the random citizens were walking towards them.

"Murderers!" someone yelled.

"You literally have no proof." Regina muttered.

"You can't hide..." Olaf said.

"Obviously not?" Carroll replied, frowning.

"Hey Hector are you done?" Violet asked nervously.

"Uh..." Hector said, "I might have to get it into the air and get you to climb onto it! People can tear it down easier otherwise!"

"Okay!" the kids yelled.

  
The crowd suddenly stopped, a bit suprised at what they saw. Hector's hot air mobile home rised from the barn and started to float higher and higher. 

The Quagmires and Baudelaires started to chase it.

  
It wasn't until the children had ran after the hot air mobile home for a solid 30 seconds that Olaf and Esmé realised they were gone.

"After them!" he yelled.

Hector started to pull a lever down for the kids to climb up in.

"You should go first." Violet said, gesturing at Regina and Duncan. Regina and Duncan didn't really have time to question, and started to climb.

As Regina got up and Duncan was half way, Carroll started to climb. As Isadora waited for her turn, Violet put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey..." Violet said, and gave her a small kiss. Isadora was a bit confused to why she did this, but smiled before she started to climb.

Regina and Carroll were up now, and Carroll was almost up, with Isadora behind him. That's when Olaf, Esmé and all the people has catched up with them.

"The murderers are trying to escape!" Olaf exclaimed, "Police! You should take out your toy!"

"With pleasure." Esmé replied.

She took out a fucking harpoon gun and without really thinking twice shot away an arrow.

The arrow missed whatever it was trying to aim at, but it made the entire hot air mobile home shake.

"Baudelaires, hurry!" Hector shouted. Carroll just got up and Isadora was about to get up any second now. "I have to make it get higher into the sky!"

Violet bit her lip. "Then go higher up!"

"What?" 

  
Klaus looked at his sister, and nodded. "Yes, go higher up!"

"But then you won't get on!" Hector screamed, as he helped Isadora up.

"Exactly!" Sunny screamed.

There was silence for a moment.

The Quagmire looked down on their friends, and understood. They started to form tears, but nodded. Hector sighed, and reached higher. Right then, a bunch of crows flew by.

"If we don't see each other again..." Duncan screamed, "You can get some of my notes on VFD... that I found out!"

  
Without hesitation, she started to throw his notebook towards the ground.

That was when another harpoon arrow flied across the sky, and hit his notebook, making the papers fly everywhere. It then hit a crow, making the old citizens gasp.

"Oh no, she hit a crow." Hector said. "The people will not like her now." 

They noticed how people started to focus on Esmé and Olaf rather than Violet, Klaus and Sunny. They noticed how Olaf and Esmé were now the ones being chased instead, making everyone leave the Baudelaires alone.

"Can't we lower down again now and pick them up?" Isadora asked.

"I'm sorry." Hector said, "But if we lower down right now, the hot air mobile home might be risking damages."

"That is such bullshit." Duncan said.

"Well, it was buildt by me and only me." Hector said, "I can't be perfect on my own."

The Quagmires looked down at the Baudelaires. They couldn't see the Baudelaires faces, but they knew what they felt. The Quagmire felt the same thing. They were sad because they might not see the Baudelaires again, but happy to finally be safe. Well, unless Hector actually was dangerous man, but that felt unlikely. They really didn't get that vibe from him.

As the Baudelaires no longer was visible, Hector decided to take the Quagmires down deck. There was a door that lead to a stair down to several rooms. A small kitchen, some bedrooms, a bathroom... like a real small house.

"I'm making some mexican food." Hector explained, "So you can go settle in and stuff."

Isadora and Regina walked into another room than their brothers.

"How do you feel?" Regina asked.

"Strange." Isadora admitted. "A lot has happened in a short while. Now we can hopefully take time to just let everything sink in..."

"It's gonna be hard." Regina added, "I have been fucking kidnapped twice, i'm not okay!"

"No, exactly! We are going to have some rough times... but hey..." Isadora took Regina's hand. "We are going through it together."

Regina nodded. Then she smirked.

"Isadora, guess what."

"What?"

"I got my period."

"Wait, what? Really?"

"Yeah!"

"When?"

"In the crow fountain!"

"Oh my god! Noo!"

Isadora started to laugh in pity, as Regina herself snickered.

"What did you do?" Isadora asked. "Did you tell Duncan?"

"No, I couldn't." Regina said, "I told him that I had to tell you first, because I promised you. I think he understood though, because he looked incredibly awkward."

"Oh god... but what did you do about... you know."

Regina placed her hands on her forehead and blushed.

"Regina?"

"Do you wanna know?" Regina asked quietly.

"Yes." Isadora replied, giggling.

"I... had to rip off pages in my notebook."

Isadora let out a huge laugh.

"Hey!" Regina yelled, "I was desperate, okay?"

"Yeah, I get it! I totally get it."

Regina punched Isadora lightly on her arm.

Isadora took Regina's hand. "Come on, we're going to the bathroom. There's surely something better, and more comfortable, that you can use."

  
The four Quagmires were living in a hot air flying mobile home. They wondered what would occur to them there, up in the sky. As they peeked down on the ground, they didn't really see any faces. Only little dots who walked or rode around. Little did they know that two very special people was walking down there right now, in search for the lost siblings...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i'm taking a little hiatus now! It should probably only be some weeks, but we will see. I want to focus on other fics for a while, and also school work and all that stuff. So i'll see you when I see you!


	18. Boys on a mountain

Lewis woke up by feeling a punch in his back.

"Quigley..." he groaned. "Hey, Quigley. Quigley! Quiggs!"

"Huh?"

Quigley sat up faster than lightning, looking very confused and scared.

"Did you have a nightmare or something?" Lewis asked. "You punched me in your sleep?"

"I did? In that case it wasn't me!"

"Yes, it was. What did you dream?"

Quigley looked panicked. "Uh... demons... there was fire and... a man who laughed at me as he picked me up and said he was gonna take me to my siblings. Then someone threw popcorn at me that burned before they could reach me. Lewis, what does this mean?"

"I'm not the one who knows what dreams mean." Lewis admitted. "Also, your dream doesn't make sense."

"Does dreams ever make sense? Do you have logical dreams with no plot holes, brother?"

"Uh..."

  
The two young Quagmires had for several days wandered the forests and places, since the house they stayed in tragically burned down. They had a backpack of things Jacques left behind, like a bunch of vegetables and a spyglass. It was pretty cold outside. The only things the boys had left from their family's home was their pajamases and their thick wool sweaters they almost always wore whenever they walked outside their rooms. Thank god for them, because otherwise these boys would've catched a long lasting cold a long time ago. 

They had wandered to Paltryville, where an owner of a mill tried to get them to work there, but they refused. He had a partner who was pretty nice though, and gave the boys sleeping bags, and a bag of cookies.

It was the third day since the fire, and the boys had gotten lost in the hinterlands, which was a large place that was very popular for tourists. Quigley had studied maps of it for a long time as a child, and hoped to visit one day. But not like this. He didn't even have a map anymore. The only thing he had left was the memories of how it looked like.

"Okay, I am not 100% sure..." Quigley said, "But I think that if we are going forward, we'll come to a carnival."

"A carnival?" Lewis asked. "Like, does cannibals live there?"

"What?"

"Carroll once told me a story about cannibals living in a carnival, so I-"

"No, there's no cannibals!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

  
Even though there were no cannibals, Quigley and Lewis were still nervous to walk up to the carnival. It looked like no one was there, which made it feel haunted, and haunted places are often unpleasant.

"God, remember that one time our parents actually took us to a carnival?" Quigley asked.

"It wasn't a carnival, it was just some... event where they had put up rides and markets." Lewis replied. "Didn't they say they wanted us to have a normal childhood experience?"

"Oh, that's right! Heh. Wonder why."

"But then they didn't let us go anywhere without them supervising us."

"Well, I mean, people apparently spied on us growing up." Quigley shrugged, "So I can understand it now."

"Yeah, but it was annoying while it happened."

  
They approached the carnival. Even close up, it looked like no one was there. It was creepy. 

"Well, it was fun seeing this place in real life." Lewis squeaked, "But can we move forward?"

"Why?" Quigley asked. "I think that rollercoaster works!"

"What the fuck dude, you want to ride a roller coaster without a proffesional who can operate it so it works right?"

"Yes?"

"No!"

  
Lewis looked exasperated. "Quigley. We are not doing this. What's the next big place?"

"That would be Mortmain Mountains, but-"

"Great! Let's go there!"

"Noooo! I want to be at the carnival!"

Quigley was pouting like a baby now. 

"Quiggs, I think this place is pretty creepy and I feel bad being here." Lewis admitted. "Please, do not force me to be here. You know very well how it feels being forced to do something you're not comfortable with. It's basically all we have done since the fire. I don't want to add this."

Quigley sighed. "But..."

"Please." Lewis begged. 

"Okay. Okay, we'll continue to walk."

"Thank you."

They walked up a road that seemed to become steeper and steeper. They weren't sure where exactly they were heading, but that didn't matter. It wasn't like they had a home anymore.

"I feel like bad things have happened on this road." Quigley said.

"Like people driving off the cliff?"

"No... like if... people have arrived or left in unfortunate occasions, and we are walking in the forgotten memories and sorrows."

Lewis frowned. "Wow, you got super dark now, brother."

"This place feels da-"

Quigley couldn't finish the sentence because he suddenly slipped down the steep hill.

  
"Quigley!" Lewis screamed. He ran towards the hill. "Quigley! Quigley?"

There was no response, which made Lewis shiver with anxiety.

"Quigley!" 

"I'm okay!" squeaked someone up to Lewis. "Hey Lewis, can you slide down here?"

Lewis sighed in relief, but then frowned again. "How the fuck am I supposed to 'slide' down a steep hill?"

"I did it!"

"No, you slipped!"

"But i'm fine with no bruises! Come on!"

  
Lewis took a deep breath, and looked down. He then carefully placed his legs on the steep hill and slode as carefully as he could down. At the bottom was Quigley, looking perfectly bruiseless.

"Why did you want me to come down here?" Lewis asked.

"Well, for starters I have no idea how to get back up again." Quigley admitted, "Also... I found these people."

In front of them stood a bunch of children in uniforms that definetly wasn't appropriate for the cold weather, and a grown man who probably was responsible for them.

A red haired girl walked up to them. She looked incredibly suprised.

"Quagmire boys?" she asked.

Quigley's jaw dropped. "Y-you know our names?"

"Uh, yeah." the girl replied, rolling her eyes. "We went to school together."

"No, we didn't." Lewis said. "Wait... are you talking about... our brothers, perhaps?"

"Wait, you're not Duncan and Carroll?"

"No, we're Quigley and Lewis."

"Lies. They are dead."

"We literally aren't."

The red-haired girl walked forward to them. She glared at them.

"Where is Regina?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back with this! The hiatus was longer than I expected. I still won't post every day as I used to, but this is a start. Back on track! A little short, but it's the first time Quigley and Lewis gets a chapter on their own! Exciting!


	19. Regina, the chaotic romantic

"So let me get this straight." the red haired girl said. "You are the dead brothers of the Quagmires that I went to school with, and now you are looking for them, and you have no idea where Regina is?"

"Exactly." Quigley nodded.

"We also don't know where any of our other siblings are." Lewis added. "Now... who are you?"

"We are the snow scouts!" the adult man said. "We are here for our annual trip to the mortmain mountains to celebrate false spring!"

"False spring..." Lewis said. "Wait, what time of the year is that?"

"You're very welcome to join us." the man said, "You are helpess children in the mountains, and we have some spare sleeping bags."

"Oh, I don't know." Quigley said.

"Join." the red haired girl growled. "If we take you with us then maybe the rest of your siblings will follow."

Lewis and Quigley shared an unsure look. But then Lewis bit his lip.

"Well... we do need a place to sleep for the night."

"Wonderful!" the adult man exclaimed. "I'm Bruce, by the way. The leader of the snow scouts."

"And i'm Carmelita Spats!" the red haired girl exclaimed. The rest of the snow scouts didn't say anything at all.

They were walking a bit with the snow scouts.

"I'm wondering something." Quigley said. "What exactly is a snow scout?"

Bruce turned around, smiling creepily. "Oh! Are you ready, kids?"

The snow scouts also turned around and started to speak in unison.

"Snows Scouts are accomodating, basic, calm, darling, emblematic, frisky, grinning, human, innocent, jumping, kept, limited, meek, nap-loving, official, pretty, quarantined, recent, scheduled, tidy, understandable, victorious, wholesome, xylophone, young, and zippered–every morning, every afternoon, every night, and all day long!"

The brothers looked absolutely stunned.

"What the fuckedi-fuck-fuck?" Quigley mumbled.

"Alright, kids!" Bruce said, "We need to wear our masks now, as we are entering the snow gnats territory."

"Snow gnats?" Quigley asked.

"Oh, they are these insects who hate humans and gives us harsh bites." Lewis shrugged. "We better cover our faces."

"Here you go!" Bruce said, handing over two masks to the boys. "Now, everyone! Let's hurry into that cave there. We can stay there for the night."

* * *

  
"Kids, I made tacos!"

The four Quagmires sat in the flying hotair mobile home's kitchen, waiting for their food.

"Hey, so I woke up by the mobile home bumping into something?" Carroll said. "What was that?"

"Oh." Hector giggled, handing out plates. "A bird crashed into it. No worries, it survived."

"Yeah, but you're gotta be careful." Isadora sighed. "I wish Violet was here. She could-"

"Yeah, we get it, you're in love with Violet and she is awesome!" Duncan growled. "We know!"

Everyone gave Duncan a questioning look.

"Sorry." Duncan sighed.

Isadora took his hand. "I get it. You miss Klaus, just like I miss Violet."

"I miss Sunny." Carroll said, "She could relate to my pain of siblings being in love."

"One day you're gonna fall in love." Regina said.

"Heh, only if I have known them long enough to trust them. I don't just jump into attractions like you rabbits."

"You know, kids." Hector suddenly spoke, "When I was your age I wasn't this open with talking about love."

"Well, we are a new generation." Regina said, making a peace sign with her left hand while holding a taco with her right.

As they were doing the dishes, Isadora looked outside the window.

"Those are some pretty mountains."

"Oh, those are the mortmain mountains!" Hector explained. "I have mostly bad memories from there, but it still feels oddly nostalgic."

"You know, I feel like there's something on the mountain that calls us." Isadora said.

"I feel the same." Regina said. "I have a gut feeling that we should go there."

  
Hector bit his lip. "There's almost always something happening on that mountain. It's dangerous."

"But what if..." Duncan said, "...someone we know is there?"

"Ok, you know what?" Hector sighed, "We can get the hotair mobile home over there for a while, and look around."

The four kids cheered.

* * *

Quigley and Lewis listened to a bunch of snow scouts telling stories in front of a campfire, and say their weird pledge atleast five times. Finally, it was time to go to sleep.

As the brothers cozied down in their sleeping bag, they noticed someone walking up.

"Carmelita?" Lewis asked. "Where are you going?"

"With a flashlight?" Quigley added.

Carmelita rolled her eyes. "I gotta go."

"Go where?"

Carmelita stared at them.

"Oh." Lewis said, nodding.

"I'll be back in a minute." Carmelita said, and then wondered why she wasted time talking to them.

* * *

  
"It's getting dark." Carroll said, "I can barely see anything."

They all sat on the platform with jackets on, looking down with binoculars at the mountain. It was very windy, obviously, because they were high up in the air.

"Maybe we should go inside again." Hector shivered, because he was freezing. 

"No, wait." Regina said. "I see something down there..."

She was quiet for a moment, before sighing. "Oh, it was just a hare. Nevermind."

"I see someone with a flashlight." Isadora said. 

"Really, what do they look like?" Duncan asked.

"Not sure... I think they're red haired. They are wearing a bright pink jacket."

"What shade of pink?" Regina asked.

"Uh, I don't know. Very very bright?"

"Let me see!"

  
Regina practically snatched the binoculars from her sister. She looked through it, and became very, very silent.

"Regs?" Isadora asked. "What's-"

Regina bent over a bit, and took a deep breath. Then she screamed.

"Carmie!"

She then smiled brightly.

"What's going on?" Carroll asked.

"She reacted! She reacted when I screamed!" Regina exclaimed. "It's her! It's her! It's her, oh my god!"

She ran towards the rope ladder.

"What are you-" Hector started to say, before Regina threw the rope ladder down.

"I'm just going down for a second!" Regina said, and eagerly started to climb down before the ladder even has rolled out properly.

"Regina, you can't just climb down." Hector said. "The rope ladder can be very wiggly, not to mention slippery-"

"Aah!"

Everyone bent over to see Regina loosing grip and almost falling down. Though, she still managed to hold onto it, so that was one fortunate thing.

"Regina, climb up again!" Hector ordered.

"Just give me a second!" Regina yelled. She looked at the person with the flashlight. They seemed to be a bit curious about this flying hotair mobile home, because they stood completely still and just held the flashlight straight up.

Regina was almost at the bottom now, there was just a few steps left. However, as she was stepping down, she slipped.

"Regina!" Duncan exclaimed.

But Regina didn't fall off. She managed to catch her grip again. Though, this time with her legs. Which meant that Regina Quagmire now dangled upside down on the rope ladder, her legs having a pretty good grip on the ladder step.

"We gotta pull the ladder up." Hector ordered.

Regina was pretty happy with the sight she was seeing. The person she looked at with the binoculars was now flashing her with their flashlight, looking very suprised and shocked.

"Hi Carmie." Regina said with a flirty voice.

  
Carmelita Spats just gasped. "R-R-R-R-"

"Yes, it's me." Regina said.

"Regina, we're pulling you up!" Isadora yelled.

"No!" Regina growled, before turning back to Carmelita with a smirk. "I'm not kidnapped anymore."

"You're not?" Carmelita managed to say.

"Nope. Me and my siblings are living with this Hector guy in this flying house."

"I'm-"

"Schh..." Regina shushed her. "So my siblings are assholes and want to pull me back up there for some reason, so i'll just keep it short."

Carmelita nodded, noticing that Regina was being raised higher from the ground.

"So now, as i'm hanging upside down and looking at you, and soon will not see you again, there's only one thing left to do."

Before Carmelita could say something, Regina grabbed her face and kissed her. 

It wasn't a very beautiful kiss, as Regina barely reached Carmelita's mouth, and was a bit too high up to really get a proper smack, and also Carmelita almost hit her with her flashlight, but it was still a kiss. It looked awkward for anyone who looked at them from afar, but for Regina it was intimate and romantic.

And just as she let go of Carmelita's face, the ladder got pulled up higher. Carmelita just watched as Regina was waving at her, while still hanging upside down on the rope ladder.

"Goodbye, Carmelita! I'll make sure to find you in a near future!"

"Regina!" Carmelita shouted.

"Yeah?"

  
Carmelita bit her lip. She wanted to say so much, but didn't know what she would say first. At last, she decided to say atleast the smallest thing she wanted to say.

"I hope we can sing together again!"

Regina smiled. "Of course! Always!"


	20. Mysterious but clueless brothers

It was an early morning. Quigley and Lewis had woken up before any of the snow scouts. They looked around.

"You know, the cave feels a little bit different." Quigley commented. "Like, something here has changed."

"Maybe that has something to do with it?" Lewis suggested, pointing right in front of them. Right in front of them was the place where the campfire had been. Now when the fire was burned out, they saw what appeared to be a chimney.

Quigley walked up to it. "Remember that we read about this? What was it? Vertical flame diversion?"

"Oh yeah. To make the smoke not stay in the cave."

Quigley looked up the chimney. "Hey Lewis?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you can climb up here?"

"What?"

"Yeah, it looks like steps you can climb up on."

"Let me see."

Lewis glanced up the chimney too, and realised his brother might be right. But before they could examine it any closer, someone tapped on their shoulders.

"I see you boys are up at dawn!" Bruce exclaimed. "Just like a snow scout! Come on, let's make some breakfast."

The brothers sighed. They had to examine it later when no one was around.

Quigley and Lewis spent an entire day doing nothing special with the snow scouts. The only interesting part was Carmelita, who acted like something had happened to her, but the brothers didn't know what. After suffering through the snow scouts saying their pledge probably hundreds of times and looking at random birds, it was getting dark again and the snow scouts sat in the cave in front of the fire. Quigley and Lewis wore their masks since they had a history with smoke from fire and wanted to be on the safe side.

Various snow scouts were telling stories and everything was going alright. That is, until they noticed two silouettes walking into the cave.

"Who's there?" Bruce called. "This is a private cave."

  
Carmelita, who seemed to fear nothing, ran up to whoever was coming in. "Who are you cakesniffers? I recogonize you."

"We, uh..." the first one said. "We just wanted to escape the snow gnats, that's all."

"Of course, of course!" Bruce exclaimed. "You can spend the night with us. See kids? Some strangers just came in. They probably have some interesting things to say!"

Quigley and Lewis shared a look that indicated that they didn't feel like Bruce was a good role model for the scouts. The two strangers seemed to agree with them, because they said:

"I don't think you should trust strangers like that, but we do actually need a place to stay."

"Get over here and tell us some stories!" Bruce ordered.

The two strangers slowly walked towards the group. As they approached, Quigley and Lewis suddenly gasped. They recogonized these people. They hadn't met them before, but they knew exactly who they were.

  
The Baudelaire siblings. The newspaper had written all about them. They were on the run from an evil count, that they apparently murdered in a village, but the boys knew those kids were innocent. Even if they never met. And now they most likely wanted to hide now. Wait, weren't there three of them? Where's the baby?

"I have read that there are animals who hibernate in the caves of mortmain mountains." the boy of the Baudelaires said. "Isn't it unsafe to spend the night here?"

"Oh, there used to be a lot of bears." Bruce explained, "But they disappeared for whatever reason."

"Not bears." Quigley suddently said. "Lions. But not any lions, but special trained ones. They were detectives. Volunteer feline dectectives."

The Baudelaires suddenly gasped.

"Volunteer feline detectives." Quigley said again, this time slower. Lewis gave him a weird look.

"Stop talking about lions, it's creepy." Bruce said. "Now, the two strangers probably have some interesting stories to share."

"We do." the girl said. "We know stories about very fashionable divas."

VFD. They were communicating with the Quagmire boys.

"And about vastly frightning danger." the boy said.

VFD! VFD!

"And V-F I Don't care!" Carmelita exclaimed. "I have more interesting stories to tell than them!"

  
During the rest of the evening, Carmelita told boring story after boring story that all happened to be about her. She told them in such an overexaggerating way that the Quagmires couldn't help to wonder if she was hiding something.

Finally, Bruce said that it was time to sleep. All the snow scouts were getting ready to cozy up in their sleeping bags. Quigley glanced at the Baudelaires who were getting ready in the sleeping bag they had borrowed. He decided to walk up to them.

"Hey..." he whispered. "Wait until the bonfire has died away. Some things are easier to see in the dark."

The Baudelaires looked very confused, but nodded.

"What did you say to them?" Lewis asked.

"They can help us with the chimney." Quigley said.

"Can they?"

"Yeah."

Lewis was doubtful, but he trusted his brother. It was the Baudelaires he was doubtful about. He was sure they were innocent of the crimes they had been framed of, but he wasn't sure they could help them the way Quigley seemed to believe. Honestly, they looked to be even more clueless about everything than what he and Quigley was.

  
Some hours passed, and Lewis had fallen asleep. Quigley had not. He made sure to stay awake. Suddenly, he woke up his brother.

"Come on." Quigley said. He looked very tired.

"Where?" Lewis asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Come on." Quigley repeated. He then walked up to the Baudelaires, who didn't seem to have slept at all. He could tell they felt a bit intimidated by a boy covering his face with a mask.

"Follow me." was all that Quigley said, and the two confused siblings followed him back to Lewis. "My brother and I discovered this yesterday."

He pointed at the chimney, who now was completely visible.

"What's that?" the girl asked.

"We think it's a vertical flame diversion." Lewis explained.

"And that is...?" the girl asked. Lewis and Quigley just shrugged.

"Who are you?" the boy asked.

"Hush!" Quigley said, and put his finger over the girl even though it was the boy asking the question. "We need to be at a safer place."

He turned around and looked at Carmelita, who was talking in her sleep. "Give me those earrings, Rachel."

"I wonder who Rachel is." Lewis said.

"Probably someone who likes attention and singing as much as Carmelita." Quigley said. "Anyway, focus. Look. You can climb up the chimney."

"Cool, right?" Lewis said. He didn't know why Quigley was acting like he was a mysterious spy to the Baudelaires, but he decided to play along.

"Should we climb up there?" the girl asked.

"Yes!" Quigley said. "We should."

  
The four of them awkwardly stared at each other for a few seconds before Quigley started to climb up, with Lewis behind him. The Baudelaire siblings followed them. As they climbed higher and higher, they heard Carmelita mumble a name in her sleep.

"Regina..."

All four kids stopped climbing for a minute. All of them probably had different thoughts running through their head. Then they continued to climb, in silence.

After what felt like an eternity, the four of them reached the top. But now they were in some tunnel.

"Where are we headed now?" the girl asked.

"I don't know." Lewis admitted. "Honestly, we just found the chimney and we knew for a fact that you were the Baudelaires, and so you might help-"

"Wait." the boy said. "You know us? We don't know you."

"Klaus, there's a lot of strangers who has seemed to know us." the girl said. Now the brothers knew the boys name was Klaus. They always had a feeling they switched the names in the daily punctulio.

"How can we trust you?" Klaus asked.

"Well, you have trusted us this far, so I mean..." Lewis said.

"You can't trust us." Quigley said. "But you should know that we are well-read. And well-read people tend to be more trustworthy in my experience."

"Fair enough." the girl said. "We're looking for Sunny. She's been kidnapped by Count Olaf."

"Sunny?" Quigley asked.

"Our... sister?

"Oh, the baby?"

"Yeah... you don't know our names?"

Lewis and Quigley looked down on the ground. "Honestly, we only knew you were the Baudelaires." Quigley admitted.

"Well, i'm Violet." the girl said. "This is Klaus. Who are you?"

"We can't tell that..." Quigley said. "Yet."

"Can we when we come to the headquarters?" Klaus asked. "Wasn't the headquarters at Mortmain mountains?"

"Oh, it was!" Lewis exclaimed. "Oh my god, what if this is a passageway to it?"

"I'll check my notes!" Quigley exclaimed and eagerly took out his notebook. "Oh right! You don't know this, but I actually drew my own little map to how I thought the way to the headquarters would be."

"But we don't even know where we are now!" Lewis argued.

"...right." Quigley said. "Dammit. Without map we are lost."

"Uh, no, we're not." Lewis said. "You're the cartographer, but i'm the explorer. And I rarely use maps!"

"So where are we going?" Violet asked, highly confused.

"This way!" Lewis said and pointed right forward. Quigley was unsure, but he decided to trust his brother. They had nothing to lose.

After walking for a few minutes in the tunnel, Lewis had lead them to a wall with some sort of machine on it.

"Okay, what the fuck is this?" Lewis asked.

"It looks like a machine to write a password in." Violet said. "To open the giant door behind it?"

The Quagmires glanced at the wall. She was right. There was a giant door behind the machine.

"Okay, but I don't know the code." Quigley shrugged. "My research never told me about any codes."

"Stand back." Violet said, and suddenly tied up her hair. Klaus seemed to smile proudly at her.

  
The Quagmires stood back at Violet started to tinker with the machine with her bare hands. She twisted it and pulled it, and all of a sudden, the door seemed to open more and more.

"How are you-" Quigley said.

"Oh, years of practise." Violet shrugged, and continued to get the door to open without any sort of code.

The boys watched her, amazed at the fact how this girl could outsmart a whole code system by a secret organisation and just pick the lock in some way.

  
It took some time, but Violet finally seemed to have opened the lock entirely.

"Wow!" Quigley exclaimed.

"Well, are you ready to see the headquarters?" Violet said. "I'm assuming it is the headquarters."

"It must be." Lewis said.

"I'm nervous."

"We'll have all our questions answered by opening this door." Quigley said. "Let's not wait a second longer."

And so, the four of them helped to open the large door.

  
I am sorry to say that there were no nice headquarter behind the door. Behind it was instead piles of dust and ashes of a building that once existed. All gone up in flames.

  
"It's all... gone." Klaus said.

"I can't believe it." Violet said.

"I read that it was beautiful." Quigley said.

  
Violet and Klaus seemed to have tears in their eyes.

"I was hoping we would meet the survivor of the fire here." Violet mumbled.

"Or Sunny." Klaus added.

  
Suddenly, the Quagmire boys looked at each other.

"Well... maybe you are meeting the survivor of the fire." Quigley said.

"Perhaps... the _survivors_ of the fire." Lewis added.

"What?" Klaus asked.

Quigley and Lewis nodded at each other, and took off their masks. They could see on the Baudelaires faces that they were suprised.

"Duncan?" Klaus asked. "Carroll?"

"No." Quigley said. "I'm Quigley."

"And i'm Lewis."

The boys took each others hands and spoke in unison. "We survived the fire."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was first going to have the plot with the code but I had completely forgotten to write how Quigley and Lewis knew that and all that stuff, so I was like "fuck it! Violet breaks the lock!"


	21. The most chaotic slippery slope adaptation you have ever read

"You're... alive?" Klaus asked, being very suprised.

"I mean, I think I am?" Quigley said, and punched Lewis. After Lewis let out an _ow_ , Quigley nodded. "If I wasn't alive, I wouldn't have done that."

"But... where have you've been?" Violet asked.

"I don't think the other Quagmires would lie about you being dead." Klaus said. "Violet... Duncan wouldn't do that, would he?"

"Oh, Duncan never lied." Lewis admitted. "Except when neccessary, or if anyone asked if he was straight."

"Duncan isn't straight?" Quigley asked, confused.

"No?"

"What? Since when?"

"Since he was born, I imagine? Maybe before."

  
Klaus and Violet looked like they were about to burst out laughing any moment.

  
"Oh, boy." Quigley said. "Anyways, Baudelaires, how do you know our siblings?"

"We went to school together." Violet explained. "Don't worry. They are safe."

"We don't know where they are, but they are floating in air with a man named Hector." Klaus added. "They are safe."

"You sure?" Lewis asked.

"Yes." the Baudelaires replied in unison.

"Now..." Violet said slowly, "What happened to you two?"

  
Lewis and Quigley started to tell them everything.

"We grew up with our siblings in a large mansion..." Quigley said, "...until one day, when the house burned down."

"Our parents took us to a trap door under a rug in the library." Lewis said. "They were going to get our siblings, but... never returned."

"But soon we noticed that under the trap door was a tunnel. A long, long tunnel."

"And so we walked, until we reached a reptile house on lousy lane."

"Wait." Violet said. "Did you say lousy lane?"

Lewis nodded. 

"Our old guardian Montgomery Montgomery used to live in a reptile house on lousy lane." Klaus sighed.

"Well, no one lives there now." Quigley shrugged. "Because... it burned down."

"What?" Violet and Klaus said together.

"But we lived there for several weeks before!" Lewis exclaimed. "We studied on all sorts of stuff. We wanted to go earlier but we weren't allowed."

"Weren't allowed?" Klaus asked. "By who?"

"Jacques." Quigley explained. "Jacques Snicket- ooh, you know him, Baudelaires?"

He gestured at the Baudelaires faces. Violet nodded slowly. "Yeah, Jacques... he..."

"He was a brave man." Klaus sighed.

"Wait, he's dead?" Quigley exclaimed. "Who am I kidding, _of course_ he is dead! Of fucking course! Everyone just dies, it's a miracle we haven't died yet!"

Lewis patted his brother on the arm. "Anyway, the reptile house burned down and now we've just searched for our siblings. But it seems like they are safe..."

"Can we help you, Baudelaires?" Quigley asked.

"Well, our sister has been kidnapped." Violet explained. "If you could help us rescue her, we'll be very grateful."

Quigley and Lewis agreed to help the Baudelaires, as if this was a video game where you had to perform tasks to get things. Though, the Baudelaires didn't have much to give to them. The boys volunteered to help them rescue their kidnapped sister, because this was a real world and kidnapping was very illegal and wrong, and no one deserves to have the trauma of their sibling kidnapped. In fact, no one should experience anything the four children had experienced over the past months. 

"Do you have any clue where your sister might be?" Lewis asked.

"All we know is that she must still be around the mountains." Klaus explained. "Count Olaf wanted to get to the headquarters..."

"What if he burned it down?" Violet sighed.

"What's that green smoke?" Quigley asked. Everyone looked up at the mountain top in front of them. Violet and Klaus gasped.

"Maybe someone is signaling us." Violet said, suddenly tying up her hair. "What if it's Sunny? We should get up there."

"What if it's a trap?" Quigley said.

"Maybe two of us go up there and two of us stay here and research about... something." Lewis said, unsure what he was going to research. "Like... I am confused about everything so I need to read up. There must be something here in the burned place...?"

"I agree." Klaus said. "Plus, I don't know how we can get up there. It would take a while."

"Not if we climb directly up." Violet suggested, gesturing at the frozen waterfall above them.

"How can we do that?" Quigley asked. 

Violet grabbed his arm and smirked. "By inventing some climbing shoes."

Violet was very quick at making climbing shoes. She had found a burnt ukelele and had tied the strings to her and Quigley's shoes. Then she used some candelabras to climb up with.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives." Quigley replied with confidence. They had decided that he and Violet would climb up, while Lewis and Klaus would stay and research a bit about what's going on. He was pretty happy about that decision for some reason...

  
  
As Quigley and Violet climbed up the mountain, Lewis and Klaus tried to research what was left of the burnt down headquarter. 

"Look, here's a fridge." Klaus said, opening it.

Lewis took out his commonplace book, ready to write whatever down. "What's in the fridge?"

"I don't know, but it looks like a message..." The two boys glanced at the fridge. Many words were burned out, but there was still some letters there. Though, it was still pretty confusing.

"Looks like this is gonna take a while to figure out." Lewis sighed. He then glanced at some binoculars, who seemed to be untouched by the fire. "Maybe we can check on our siblings. See how far they have climbed."

"Good idea." 

Lewis walked out of the headquarters and raised the binoculars into the sky. "Okay... I think I see them. They are resting on a leach. They are about halfway up, I guess they just are taking a break to get some energy."

"Wow, they climb fast." Klaus said.

"Okay, they are talking..." Lewis said. "Looking out at the view... Quigley turns to Violet and says something... she seems to... blush?"

"Wait, what is happening?" 

"I don't know, Klaus. Maybe my brother is just-" Lewis suddenly threw the binoculars off. He was frowning to an extreme degree. "The fuck?"

"What?" Klaus asked.

"I must've seen wrong." Lewis said, and tried to look through the binoculars again. Then he threw them off again. "I was not meant to see that. What the hell."

"Calm down, Lewis. What happened?"

Quigley slowly pulled away from Violet again. He blushed. "Sorry, I just..."

"No, it's okay." Violet snickered. "I liked it. Though..."

"Though?" Quigley repetated nervously.

"Hey Quigley! What the **_fuck_** , dude?!"

Both Quigley and Violet got startled. They looked down, and saw small figures of their respective brothers.

"Fuck, did they see us?" Quigley asked.

"You're supposed to rescue a kidnapped baby!" Lewis screamed as loud as he could. His voice could just be heard by them, which was good, because if his screams had reached the top of the frozen waterfall then they all would've been in huge trouble. "You're on a dangerous rescue mission and you just _make out_ with your rescue partner?!"

Violet and Quigley awkwardly shared a look. Down at the bottom, Klaus mumbled something to Lewis. "Did Quigley kiss her or did she kiss him?"

"He kissed her." Lewis replied.

"Okay, because... Violet's kind of... dating someone already. It's actually-"

"You're kissing a taken woman, Quigglefort?!"

As Lewis screamed this, Quigley felt even more awkward. "Wait, you're taken?"

"Well, I..." Violet squirmed. "Yeah, but I don't know if we ever will see each other again, also there's so much going on and well I like you too, you're a great kisser. You're just as good as-"

"Isadora!" Lewis screamed. "Klaus said Violet's dating Isadora- wait, our sister? Klaus, are you serious? Oh- oh, _holy shit!_ "

Violet smiled the most awkward smile she has ever smiled. "Yeah, you two really look alike, did you know that?"

"I mean, yeah." Quigley shrugged. "Me, her and Duncan look a lot alike. Do you like Duncan, too?"

"Well, not exactly-"

"Klaus also said right now he's dating Duncan, which is also our brother!" Lewis yelled. "The Baudelaires have things for our siblings, it seems! It doesn't have to do anything with this but I still wanted you to know!"

Klaus facepalmed. But then he decided to scream, too. "I just want to say i'm also a bit annoyed with you two right now. Please go rescue our sister. Now!"

"And don't come back before you get her!" Lewis added.

"Except if it turns out she isn't on the top of the waterfall, then it's okay!" Klaus yelled.

  
Violet sighed. She took Quigley's hand. "Well. I think we had enough energy to continue to climb, don't you think?" She gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "We can sort this mess out later. Now we have to rescue my sister."

"Yeah." Quigley said.


	22. This chapter ain't less chaotic

Violet and Quigley arrived at the top of the mountain.

"Let's hope it was your sister up here." Quigley said, "Otherwise our brothers will kill us."

"Yeah." Violet nodded. She lifted herself up on the last steps, which made Quigley smirk a bit.

"You're strong." he said.

"I know." 

At the top of the frozen waterfall was what appeared to be a a campground. Violet and Quigley looked around, before Violet gasped. "Sunny!"

In front of them was a toddler in a cage. You may recogonize Sunny Baudelaire if you have read this fanfictions previous chapters, but Quigley did not recogonize her. However, Sunny seemed to recogonize him.

"Duncan?" she asked, holding her tiny hands out of the cage. "Or... Isadora?"

"No, this is Quigley." Violet explained, "He survived the fire. So did Lewis. I have so much to tell you, Sunny. We're here to rescue you."

"No." Sunny said.

"No?" 

Sunny proceeded to speak in some unintelligeble shrieks with occasional words. Violet just replied to her as if she was any other.

"What is she saying?" Quigley asked.

  
"She says she wants to stay behind to spy." Violet explained. "There's some weird people working with Olaf and she wants to find out what's going on."

"So... we're gonna leave her?"

"Sunny, we can't leave you. How can you leave."

"Inventing." Sunny shrugged.

Violet seemed very touched by this. "Where did you learn to get so brave?"

"You."

Quigley smiled. This was a sweet moment. It made him think of his own siblings. He hoped they were okay. As he and Violet climbed down again, he was happy to atleast meet one of his siblings. They would probably be happy to see them again.

* * *

"You did _what?_ " 

Violet and Quigley awkwardly looked at Klaus and Lewis.

"Let me understand this." Klaus said, "Sunny was up there, but she insisted on staying, and you let her?"

"She's not a baby anymore." Violet explained.

"But you would've never let me stay, Violet. No, you wouldn't. If I was in Sunny's situation, you would've forced me down, and i'm a decade older than her."

"Klaus-"

"This is some oldest child bullshit." Lewis added. "At first, Quigley and Violet proceed to make out when they are trying to save your sister, and then they don't even bring her with them down. And somehow still, they are the ones getting praised."

"Lewis!" Quigley growled.

"Come on, Klaus. We're gonna get your sister ourselves. I'm gonna take their climbing shoes."

"But... your research." Violet tried. "What did you find?"

"Something about the last safe place." Klaus explained. "There was a code-"

"They can solve it themselves, Klaus! Let's go!"

Lewis dragged Klaus away, forcing him to put on the climbing shoes. Violet and Quigley just stared at them. As their brothers started to climb up, Quigley sighed.

"Should we... follow them?"

"Yeah... i'll make some more climbing shoes. You can solve the code."

"Our brothers are real drama queens, aren't they."

Violet shrugged. "Well. I would've been pissed if Klaus left Sunny up there. I actually wanted to get her down, but she seemed so sure... and I want to trust her."

Quigley nodded. He decided to look at whatever code Lewis and Klaus had found. Last safe place... what was the last safe place? What was anything? "Hey Violet, what's the last safe place?"

"I don't know. Klaus didn't have time to tell me before your brother just snatched him away."

"Fucking Lewis... okay, we gotta climb after them and ask."

* * *

Klaus and Lewis got up the mountain as fast as they could. They were tired, since they weren't taking any rests on the way up. 

"Okay, where's your sister?" Lewis panted.

"I don't know, but we have to be careful." Klaus replied. "There can be dangerous people around."

They crouched a bit on the ground, trying to hide a bit. Klaus kept an eye out for Sunny, but didn't see her. Neither did he see any other person. Suddenly, they heard a voice.

"Those snow scouts will be here any minute. Set up the nets."

"What?" Lewis whispered. "They are gonna trap the snow scouts in nets? Geez, i'm glad I left."

"I sort of understand why Sunny wanted to stay behind." Klaus admitted. He then decided to peek in front of the rock they were hiding behind. His eyes shrunk as he noticed Count Olaf casually walking around. With him was a man with a beard but no hair and a woman with hair but no beard.

"I'm glad you threw that baby off the cliff, Olaf." the man said. "We don't need her now that we're getting so many fortunes."

"What baby?" Klaus growled. "Sunny? Did they kill Sunny?"

"Alive." a voice suddenly whispered. Klaus turned around, and to big suprise (and big relief) was a small, rosy cheeked toddler.

"Sunny!" he exclaimed, not too loudly to not make himself heard. He hugged her tightly. He almost cried. "Oh thank godness you're alright."

"Carroll?" Sunny asked, pointing at Lewis.

"No, i'm Lewis. Nice to meet you."

"Sunny, has he hurt you?" Klaus asked. "What's going on?"

"Escaped." Sunny explained. "Spying."

"Who are those people with Olaf?"

"Arsonists."

Lewis gasped. "Maybe they burned down the headquarters."

  
Quigley and Violet managed to climb up the frozen waterfall once again. It was easier to climb up the second time, but this time they were also more unfortunate.

"Halt!" the man with beard but no hair screamed. "Who are you two?"

"Uh..." Quigley mumbled.

"Violet and that crying Quagmire I kidnapped?" Count Olaf frowned. "I thought both of you were dead."

"You have never kidnapped me." Quigley explained. "I'm Quigley Quagmire, I survived the fire."

Lewis facepalmed. He just wanted to walk forward to Quigley and tell him how many braincells he must have lost, but he decided it would be best to hide until further notice.

"Look." Sunny whispered, and pointed at a sledge.

"Hm, it looks big enough for us all to ride it." Klaus said. "Good idea."

"We'll deal with them in a moment." the woman with hair but no beard said. Look, here comes the snow scouts."

  
As if on cue, the snow scouts walked in, chanting their pledge. Carmelita Spats was at the front, holding a flag.

"What are you cakesniffers doing here?" she exclaimed. "We're here to celebrate false spring and crown me false spring queen!"

"Hello, little girl." the woman said. "We're here to help you celebrate."

"Yes, you just have to stand over there." the man added.

"I'm a pretty little girl, I don't need to stand everywhere!" Carmelita pouted. However, the other snow scouts, and the scout leader, followed orders and stood in front of the net that they had hidden under the snow. 

The unpleasant man and woman gave each other a smirk. All of a sudden, they blew in whistles. Tons of eagles arrived and gripped onto the net. As they lifted to the sky, the net lifted, with everyone standing on it inside.

Violet and Quigley gasped. Klaus and Lewis gasped. Sunny gasped. Even Count Olaf gasped.

"Now..." Olaf said after he finished gasping, "We can take care of you."

"Where's Sunny?" Violet cried. "And Klaus?"

"And my brother?" Quigley asked.

"Well, I don't know about your brothers." Olaf shrugged. "But Sunny's dead. We threw her off the mountain."

"What?" Violet and Quigley exclaimed together.

"Sunny..." Klaus whispered. Sunny nodded, as she knew exactly what to do.

"We're gonna throw you off the mountain too." the man said. 

"Yeah!" Olaf laughed. "Any last words?"

"Just one." Sunny announced. She and Klaus were sitting on the sledge as Lewis pushed it. "Rosebud!"

Quigley and Violet reacted with relief of seeing their siblings, and jumped on the sledge as fast as they could. Before any bad villain could take them, all five rushed down the frozen waterfall on the sledge.

* * *

As the sledge had rushed down the frozen waterfall, it had followed the stream and the children were entering an area where the ice was melting more and more.

"Where are we going now?" Lewis asked.

"The last safe place." Klaus said. "It's sad we never figured out where that is."

"You didn't?" Quigley asked. "Then why did you force us to solve it?"

"Hotel Denoument!" Sunny suddenly exclaimed.

"Hotel Denoument?" Violet asked. "Is that the last safe place?"

Sunny nodded. "Spying."

"Well, I guess it was a bit good that they let you stay behind." Klaus shrugged. "But i'm still mad about it."

"I get it." Violet giggled.

"Brother." Sunny said, and hugged Klaus. Lewis and Quigley were unsure whatever she meant by that, but Klaus seemed to be happy to hear it.

"Well, I guess we'll just gotta find that hotel." Quigley shrugged. "I need a map."

Suddenly, the ice broke. Everyone got startled by a second, but then calmed down as the sledge was just floating.

"Okay, I think there's another stream here." Violet said. "We're gonna stear carefully."

She was right about there being a stream, but she didn't know how strong it was. Because suddenly, they were rushing down a very fast, and very strong stream.

"Fuck!" Violet exclaimed. "Okay, we're gotta be careful-"

"Look out!" Lewis screamed. He pointed at a rock in front of them, seperating the water into two streams. They all looked out... but not the sledge. It was a sledge, so it couldn't look out.

With a smash! the sledge was smashed in half. One half contained Lewis and Quigley, and the other one contained the Baudelaires. The halfs moved in different streams.

"Quigley!" Violet yelled.

"Violet!" Quigley yelled back.

" _Quigley!_ "

" _Violet!_ Hey! I'll meet you! I'll meet you at the last safe place! Last safe place!"   
He had tears in his eyes as he got separated from the Baudelaires. Lewis didn't cry, but he was also devastated.

Just like that, the brothers were alone again.

And they had a new location to get to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter didn't feel too "rushed". Though, I always feel like my chapters are rushed lol. You guys seem to like the fic anyways.


	23. One banana peel can cause much chaos

Quigley and Lewis floated on the river. They were sad, as they just had lost their friends.

"We'll find them again." Lewis said. "Just like we'll find our siblings again."

"I know..." Quigley sighed. "But... we said goodbye so fast."

"Yeah..."

The boys didn't know where they were going, but they were going... somewhere. The stream had slowed down now. While the Baudelaires seemed to drift off at the sea, the Quagmires seemed to be doing the opposite.

"We're pretty close to land." Lewis said, "If we try to drift, maybe we can climb up."

Quigley shrugged, "Well, we have nothing to lose!"

They were using their already cold hands to drift towards land. When they only were a bit from land, Lewis tried standing up. He wobbled, trying to not fall into the water.

"Okay, if i'm holding onto this branch", Quigley said, "then the sledge might not float off and you try to climb up. Then you can help me up."

"Sounds like a good plan, big bro."

Lewis knew Quigley always liked when he called him big bro, even if he didn't always act like he was the oldest. Lewis took stumbled steps towards the land, trying to not fall into the water. It was slippery. After getting a good grip, he managed to climb himself up. Then he reached out his hand and helped Quigley up.

"Where are we now?" Quigley asked.

"I have no fucking clue."

They were not in mortmain mountains anymore, but they were not far from it either. They seemed to be next to a road now.

"It doesn't look like the same road we went up the mountain from." Lewis said. He looked around the area to see if he recogonised anything. He did not.

"If only we had a map..." Quigley mumbled.

"Has a map helped us much during these past weeks?"

"No, but I feel a lot more comfortable and happier knowing that I have a map."

"I know you do. When we see the nearest store, we will steal a map from there. In the meantime, let's just... walk forward next to this road."

They looked at the long road and then took each others hands. Wherever they would go now, they would go together.

* * *

"Isadora, stop trying to befriend the crows!"

Isadora and Duncan sat on deck, eating some burritos Hector made. There were crows flying by and Isadora threw some pieces of her burrito to them. Most often she missed, but she had a thrill seeing the crows dive down after it.

"Someone's gonna get your burrito pieces on their head." Duncan chuckled.

"Oh my god, we're throwing food at people on the ground?"

Isadora and Duncan turned around and sighed happily as they saw Regina already getting ready to throw a banana peel off the mobile home, despite them not even answering her yet.

"I'm just feeding the crows." Isadora explained.

"Why? They will just get fat and then make too chunky poops."

"That's not how it works, Regs." Duncan sighed, even if he actually wasn't 100% sure about that.

"What's going on up here?" Carroll asked, joining them on the deck.

"Isadora is feeding crows." Duncan explained.

"I'm gonna throw this banana peel off the ship!" Regina yelled.

"Now, now..." Carroll said, "Remember what Hector said."

" _It's not a ship, it's a self-sustaining hot air mobile home!_ " they all said together.

"Someone could get your banana peel on their head." Duncan said.

"That's the fun part!" Regina giggled. Then, before anyone could stop her, she just threw the banana peel off the self-sustaining hot air mobile home.

* * *

Quigley and Lewis were walking next to the road. They were tired and just really wanted to sleep. The question was just... where?  
Soon they saw a little path leading into a small forest. Or, it was barely a forest, just some trees and bushes surrounding the path. Though, they were unsure if it was smart going in there.

Suddenly, they heard what sounded like a car coming from the distance.

"Fuck!" Quigley exclaimed nervously.

"Hey, it's probably just a random car passing by, nothing to worry about." Lewis said.

"Are you kidding? Hasn't every car we passed for the past months been suspicious as fuck?"

"True... we'll hide behind these trees!"  
  


The boys anxiously hid behind some trees as the sound came closer to them. It was a normal car, but they couldn't see who was driving. It was about to pass them, when suddenly a banana peel dropped from the sky. 

The car made a sudden stop, surprised of seeing a banana peel from nowhere.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Lewis asked.

The same question was asked by the driver of the car, who currently was outside looking for whoever could've thrown it. The driver was unrecogonizable, a word which here means that they were actually for once not a character from which this fanfiction is based on, but just a random driver pissed about someone throwing banana peels on their car.

"Where are you hiding?!" the driver yelled.

"We gotta get out of here", Quigley whispered, "before they think it was us."

"I agree." Lewis agreed. The two brothers ran as fast as they could further into the forest that wasn't a forest to begin with. 

"I hear someone running from the crime scene!" the driver yelled after them, which only made the brothers run faster.   
  


After running for a while, they were so out of breath they had to stop.

"What if the driver is still chasing us?" Quigley cried.

"We have to stop running or we'll faint!" Lewis panted.

"Look! A house!"

Not far from them was a building that appeared to be some sort of store. As they approached it they noticed a bunch of mannequins in the window. This must have been some clothing store that was closed at the moment. Maybe even abandoned. They had nothing to lose and decided to get in.

It was dusty and cold inside. It seemed like a good place to hide. Or atleast, to rest for a while. The author did not realise she kind of rhymed...

"Lewis, look!" Quigley said, pointing at the window. "The driver is coming in this direction!"

Lewis looked around and realised to his dispair that there was no place to hide at all there. They just had to act quickly.

"Uh, I have a plan!" he mumbled.

"What plan?"

"We'll pretend to be mannequins!"

"What?"

"Quigley, we don't have time!"

Quigley nodded and joined Lewis next to an adult mannequin. They did some poses that resembled a mannequin, but comfortable enough for them to hold it for a longer time.

The driver went inside the store. They slowly walked around, trying to see if anyone was hiding there. They gave a glare to towards the boys, who were trying their best not to move. 

Finally, they sighed. "Mannequins are creepy."  
And with that, they walked out of the store again.

  
"That was close." Quigley whispered.

"Yeah." Lewis said. "I mean, I don't think the driver would do anything else than yelling at us, or perhaps simply asking if we threw the banana peel. But still, I felt frightened."

"Exactly, you never know what people might do."

Suddenly, the boys felt someone touch their shoulders. They flinched, as they saw a woman who they thought was a mannequin before smile at them.

"Wh-who-" Quigley stuttered.

"Oh, sorry for frightening you", the woman said, "I'm Kit Snicket."

* * *

"Regina, did you see where your banana peel ended up?" Isadora asked.

Regina shrugged. "I couldn't quite see."

"I hope no one got hurt by it." Carroll said.

"Eh, I think it's fine." Regina said. "I'm just bummed we couldn't see peoples faces when a banana peel just fell from the sky. It would've been priceless."

"I can write a store about it." Carroll suggested. 

"Yes! Oh my god, include me in it!"

"Regina, if I include you in my story then I have to create five other stories for our other siblings and myself. Everyone needs to have the same amount of stories about them, it needs to be fair."

"Okay, true..."  
Suddenly, Regina smirked. "But could you include Carmelita in it?"

Carroll giggled, "Sure! She could be the one throwing the banana peel."


End file.
